Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Wanted professor’s wife wanted a divorce, agent says
By CHRISTIAN BOONE - The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The lead investigator in the search for triple homicide suspect George Zinkhan said Thursday the University of Georgia professor’s late wife was seeking a divorce.
“There has been significant information about marital discord within the relationship,” said FBI Special Agent in Charge Gregory Jones, citing interviews with family and friends of Marie Bruce, Zinkhan’s second wife. She was one of three people gunned down by the former marketing professor last Saturday outside an Athens theater.
Without delving into the specifics of their presumed break-up, Jones said Zinkhan exhibited “controlling-type behavior” around his wife.
“He would cut off conversations any time they turned to his interests,” Jones said. “He was very secretive.”
That discretion may be helping Zinkhan continue to elude authorities. He’s been on the run six days and investigators have turned up few clues.
They haven’t received many tips, either; Jones said “there haven’t even been many non-credible sightings” of Zinkhan’s 2005 red Jeep Liberty, the car he was last seen driving after the shootings.
From the beginning, police offered two likely scenarios: Either Zinkhan, who has a home in Amsterdam, had left the country or committed suicide.
Jones said the professor’s passport has not been used, so it’s “unlikely” he’s overseas. As for the suicide possibility, “If you’re going to kill yourself, you’re usually not concerned with hiding the body,” Jones said. Still, “we’re eliminating nothing,” he said.
Zinkhan has not withdrawn any money from his bank account or placed any calls from his cell phone since the shootings. If he’s still alive, Jones said, it’s likely he planned his getaway in advance.
“His escape was too smooth,” Jones said.
AJC staff writer Rhonda Cook contributed to this report
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Military Update: New GI Bill transfer rules offer more control
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Military Update: New GI Bill transfer rules offer more control
Tom Philpott - Pacific edition
Servicemembers nearing the end of their careers will find it easier than first thought to transfer new Post-9/11 GI Bill education benefits to their spouse or children, under Department of Defense regulations.
And servicemembers who elect to transfer GI Bill benefits will be allowed to modify or revoke that decision at any time, thus keeping control of a benefit with an average start value estimated at $75,000 to $90,000.
Bob Clark, assistant director of accession policy in the Office of the Secretary of Defense, discussed the transferability feature of the new GI Bill in some depth during a Wednesday April 29 phone interview.
The details should comfort many long-serving careerists – including enlisted members facing high-year tenure rules or officers facing mandatory retirement – who worried about being denied transferability because they might not meet a requirement in law to serve four additional years.
Clark said the four-year requirement will be relaxed, and for some waived entirely, for individuals near to retirement. The regulation on transferability isn’t final yet because it hasn’t been signed.
“We’re awaiting a general counsel opinion on the [need for] publishing them in the Federal Register,” Clark said.
The Department of Veterans Affairs administers all veterans’ education benefits. Defense officials are only responsible for transferability policy because of the potential impact on recruiting and retention. Officials decided to confirm policy details before they officially are set because VA will to accept Post-9/11 GI Bill application on Friday May 1.
Here then are the transferability details, as explained by Clark:
ELIGIBILITY – Only members on active duty or in the Selected Reserve on or after Aug. 1, 2009, can transfer new GI Bill benefits, and only spouse or to children or to any combination thereof. Immediate family status will be confirmed through the Defense Eligibility Enrollment Reporting System.
Unused benefits, up to the full 36 months, can be transferred. “You can give 36 months to one child or one month to 36 children,” Clark quipped.
To transfer benefits, members must have served a minimum of six years and commit to serving four more from date benefit transfer is approved. However, exceptions – one permanent and five temporary – will be allowed to the four-year added service requirement.
PERMANENT EXCEPTION: If a servicemember who already has served at least 10 years is barred by service policy or statute from serving an additional four years, because of high-year tenure rules or mandatory retirement rules, they still will be allowed to transfer GI bill benefits if they agree to serve the maximum amount of time allowed by that policy or law.
TEMPORARY EXCEPTIONS: Defense officials will allow five other waivers to the four-year requirement of additional service for categories of members nearing retirement eligibility or with retirement orders in hand.
These exceptions are to recognize, said Clark, “that we have a senior force out there who, had they had this opportunity many years ago, they probably would have selected transferability for their family members.”
Granting these exceptions also help force managers, he said. Without them, the services would see thousands of retirement-eligible servicemembers trying to stay four years longer to qualify for GI Bill transferability. That could have “a very negative impact on our force profiles,” Clark said.
“So we said, ‘Let’s look at a way that we can phase this group out.’ We developed five rules. All will sunset in 2013.”
1) Members retirement eligible by Aug. 1, 2009, may transfer GI Bill benefits to an immediate family member and face no additional service requirement. “Retirement eligible” means completion of 20 years of active service or 20 qualifying years of reserve service.
2) Members with approved orders to retire on or after Aug. 1, 2009, but before July 1, 2010, will not have to serve added time to transfer benefits. This is to avoid forcing the services and members to change set retirement dates in the next year or so. Retirements set for after July 1, 2010, officials decided, could be changed with little difficulty.
3) Members who first become retirement eligible on or after Aug. 1, 2009, but before Aug. 1, 2010, will be required to serve one additional year from the date that transfer of GI Bill benefits is approved.
4) Members who become retirement eligible on or after Aug. 1, 2010, but before Aug. 1, 2011, will have to serve two additional years from the date that benefit transfer is approved.
5) Members who become retirement eligible on or after Aug. 1, 2011, but before Aug. 1, 2012, will have to serve three additional years after benefit transfer is approved.
SUSTAINED ELIGIBILITY – After transfer of benefits, spouse eligibility will not be affected by divorce, and children will stay eligible even if they marry. But the member retains ownership of the benefit and can modify or revoke transfer at any time without explanation. Also, the GI Bill benefit cannot be treated by judges as property to be shared in a divorce.
LIMITS ON USE – A spouse can use GI Bill benefits like the member. The monthly living stipend, set to match local Basic Allowance for Housing rate, won’t be paid if the member is on active duty. If the member has left active duty, the spouse will be paid the living allowance. Children get the allowance whenever they use GI Bill benefits.
Also, the spouse has 15 years to use benefits after the member leaves service. Children can use only until age 26. They can start using transferred GI Bill benefits after graduating from high school or at age 18.
A spouse can use transferred benefits immediately. A child can’t use GI Bill benefits until the member has served at least 10 years.
“We hope to start to accept requests for transfers in June,” said Clark. “But the earliest date transfer would be approved is Aug. 1.”
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Tom Philpott - Pacific edition
Servicemembers nearing the end of their careers will find it easier than first thought to transfer new Post-9/11 GI Bill education benefits to their spouse or children, under Department of Defense regulations.
And servicemembers who elect to transfer GI Bill benefits will be allowed to modify or revoke that decision at any time, thus keeping control of a benefit with an average start value estimated at $75,000 to $90,000.
Bob Clark, assistant director of accession policy in the Office of the Secretary of Defense, discussed the transferability feature of the new GI Bill in some depth during a Wednesday April 29 phone interview.
The details should comfort many long-serving careerists – including enlisted members facing high-year tenure rules or officers facing mandatory retirement – who worried about being denied transferability because they might not meet a requirement in law to serve four additional years.
Clark said the four-year requirement will be relaxed, and for some waived entirely, for individuals near to retirement. The regulation on transferability isn’t final yet because it hasn’t been signed.
“We’re awaiting a general counsel opinion on the [need for] publishing them in the Federal Register,” Clark said.
The Department of Veterans Affairs administers all veterans’ education benefits. Defense officials are only responsible for transferability policy because of the potential impact on recruiting and retention. Officials decided to confirm policy details before they officially are set because VA will to accept Post-9/11 GI Bill application on Friday May 1.
Here then are the transferability details, as explained by Clark:
ELIGIBILITY – Only members on active duty or in the Selected Reserve on or after Aug. 1, 2009, can transfer new GI Bill benefits, and only spouse or to children or to any combination thereof. Immediate family status will be confirmed through the Defense Eligibility Enrollment Reporting System.
Unused benefits, up to the full 36 months, can be transferred. “You can give 36 months to one child or one month to 36 children,” Clark quipped.
To transfer benefits, members must have served a minimum of six years and commit to serving four more from date benefit transfer is approved. However, exceptions – one permanent and five temporary – will be allowed to the four-year added service requirement.
PERMANENT EXCEPTION: If a servicemember who already has served at least 10 years is barred by service policy or statute from serving an additional four years, because of high-year tenure rules or mandatory retirement rules, they still will be allowed to transfer GI bill benefits if they agree to serve the maximum amount of time allowed by that policy or law.
TEMPORARY EXCEPTIONS: Defense officials will allow five other waivers to the four-year requirement of additional service for categories of members nearing retirement eligibility or with retirement orders in hand.
These exceptions are to recognize, said Clark, “that we have a senior force out there who, had they had this opportunity many years ago, they probably would have selected transferability for their family members.”
Granting these exceptions also help force managers, he said. Without them, the services would see thousands of retirement-eligible servicemembers trying to stay four years longer to qualify for GI Bill transferability. That could have “a very negative impact on our force profiles,” Clark said.
“So we said, ‘Let’s look at a way that we can phase this group out.’ We developed five rules. All will sunset in 2013.”
1) Members retirement eligible by Aug. 1, 2009, may transfer GI Bill benefits to an immediate family member and face no additional service requirement. “Retirement eligible” means completion of 20 years of active service or 20 qualifying years of reserve service.
2) Members with approved orders to retire on or after Aug. 1, 2009, but before July 1, 2010, will not have to serve added time to transfer benefits. This is to avoid forcing the services and members to change set retirement dates in the next year or so. Retirements set for after July 1, 2010, officials decided, could be changed with little difficulty.
3) Members who first become retirement eligible on or after Aug. 1, 2009, but before Aug. 1, 2010, will be required to serve one additional year from the date that transfer of GI Bill benefits is approved.
4) Members who become retirement eligible on or after Aug. 1, 2010, but before Aug. 1, 2011, will have to serve two additional years from the date that benefit transfer is approved.
5) Members who become retirement eligible on or after Aug. 1, 2011, but before Aug. 1, 2012, will have to serve three additional years after benefit transfer is approved.
SUSTAINED ELIGIBILITY – After transfer of benefits, spouse eligibility will not be affected by divorce, and children will stay eligible even if they marry. But the member retains ownership of the benefit and can modify or revoke transfer at any time without explanation. Also, the GI Bill benefit cannot be treated by judges as property to be shared in a divorce.
LIMITS ON USE – A spouse can use GI Bill benefits like the member. The monthly living stipend, set to match local Basic Allowance for Housing rate, won’t be paid if the member is on active duty. If the member has left active duty, the spouse will be paid the living allowance. Children get the allowance whenever they use GI Bill benefits.
Also, the spouse has 15 years to use benefits after the member leaves service. Children can use only until age 26. They can start using transferred GI Bill benefits after graduating from high school or at age 18.
A spouse can use transferred benefits immediately. A child can’t use GI Bill benefits until the member has served at least 10 years.
“We hope to start to accept requests for transfers in June,” said Clark. “But the earliest date transfer would be approved is Aug. 1.”
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - US: Culture of Unpunished Sexual Assault in Military
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - US: Culture of Unpunished Sexual Assault in Military
Dahr Jamail
MARFA, Texas, United States, Apr 30 (IPS) - Sexual assault of women serving in the U.S. military, while brought to light in recent reports, has a long tradition in that institution.
Women in America were first allowed into the military during the Revolutionary War in 1775, and their travails are as old.
Maricela Guzman served in the Navy from 1998 to 2002 as a computer technician on the island of Diego Garcia, and later in Naples, Italy. She was raped while in boot camp, but was too scared to talk about the assault for the rest of her time in the military.
In her own words she, "survived by becoming a workaholic. Fortunately or unfortunately the military took advantage of this, and I was much awarded as a soldier for my work ethic."
Guzman decided to dissociate from the military on witnessing the way it treated the native population in Diego Garcia. Post discharge, her life became unmanageable. The effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from her rape had taken a heavy toll.
After undergoing a divorce, a failed suicide attempt and homelessness, she moved in with her parents. A chance encounter with a female veteran at a political event in Los Angeles prompted her to contact the veteran’s administration (VA) for help. She began seeing a therapist there who diagnosed her with PTSD from her rape.
She told IPS that the VA denied her claim nevertheless, "Because they said I couldn’t prove it ... since I had not brought it up when it happened and also because I had not shown any deviant behaviour while in the service. I was outraged and felt compelled to talk about what happened."
Two testimonies
April Fitzsimmons served in the Air Force from 1985 to 1989, as an intelligence analyst and intelligence briefer for a two-star general. Early in her military career, another solider sexually assaulted her.
Nineteen years old at the time of her rape, Fitzsimmons reported the assault, and named her perpetrator, who was removed from the base. However, she declined the offer of counselling “because there was a stigma attached to it,” she told IPS.
“Those who seek counselling are perceived to be at risk, as being too weak and vulnerable and it would have meant forfeiting my top-secret clearance to keep military intelligence classified,” she explained.
Another reason for maintaining silence on the matter was that Fitzsimmons was declared “airman (sic) of the year,” in the European command.
“I didn’t want to lose that,” she says, “I wanted the whole thing to go away.”
Fitzsimmons created a one-woman play, Need to Know, which has been running for six years. In the play, she addresses her own sexual assault in the military. When news of rapes and sexual assaults by U.S. soldiers in Iraq, against both other soldiers and Iraqis began to surface, Fitzsimmons became more active.
“After reading about the 14-year-old Iraqi girl, Abeer Qasim Hamza, who was raped by several soldiers, and about Suzanne Swift, a soldier who after being raped by another U.S. soldier went AWOL (absent without leave) rather than redeploy with the command that was responsible for allowing the rape to occur, I was convinced that there was a cycle of sexual violence in the military that was neither being seen nor addressed,” she says.
It is not difficult to ascertain the reason for so few sexual assaults being reported in the military. Jen Hogg of the New York Army National Guard told IPS, “I helped a woman report a sexual assault while she was in basic training. She was grabbed between the legs from behind while going up stairs. She was not able to pinpoint the person who did it.”
Hogg explained that her friend was afraid to report the incident to her drill sergeant, and went on to explain why, which also sheds light on why so many women opt not to report being sexually assaulted.
“During training, the position of authority the drill sergeant holds makes any and all reporting a daunting task, and most people are scared to even approach him or her,” Hogg told IPS, “In this case, the drill sergeant’s response was swift but caused resentment towards the female that made the report, because her identity was not hidden from males who were punished as a whole for the one.”
The incident displays another tactic used in the military to suppress women’s reportage of being sexually assaulted - that of not respecting their anonymity, which opens them up to further assaults.
“After this incident many of the males said harassing things to her as they passed her during training, so much so that she regretted having addressed the issue,” Hogg continued, “You can be ostracised as the woman who had dared to speak up. Women willing to speak up are trained to shut up, which results in an atmosphere of silence. After my experiences in basic and advanced individual training I never reported an incident again.”
Hogg herself faced verbal sexual harassment.
“When I removed my protective top in the heat I would often hear comments such as ‘where you been hiding them puppies’ in reference to my breasts.”
Based on her friends’ experience, Hogg did not even consider reporting.
To make matters worse, according to Department of Defense statistics, 84-85 percent of soldiers convicted of rape or sexual assault leave the military with honourable discharges. Not only are they not penalised, they are honoured.
Like countless others, Guzman learned early that the culture of the military promoted silence about sexual assault. Her experience over the years has convinced her that sexual violence is a systemic problem in the military.
"It has been happening since women were allowed into the service and will continue to happen after Iraq and Afghanistan," Guzman told IPS, "Through the gossip mill we would hear of women who had reported being raped. No confidentiality was maintained nor any protection given to them making them susceptible to fresh attacks."
"The boys’ club culture is strong and the competition exclusive," Guzman added, "To get ahead women have to be better than men. That forces many not to report rape, because it is a blemish and can ruin your career."
She is not hopeful of any radical change in policy anytime soon, but, "One good thing that has come out of this war is that people want to talk about this now."
More than 190,000 female soldiers have served thus far in Iraq and Afghanistan on the front lines, often having to confront sexual assault and harassment from their own comrades in arms.
The VA’s PTSD centre claims that the incidence of rape, assault, and harassment were higher in wartime during the 1991 U.S. attack on Iraq than during peacetime. Thus far, the numbers from Iraq show a continuance, and increase, of this disturbing trend.
The military is notorious for its sexist and misogynistic culture. Drill instructors indoctrinate new recruits by routinely calling them "girl," "pussy," "bitch," and "dyke." Pornography is prevalent, and misogynistic rhymes have existed for decades.
Understandably, Department of Defense (DoD) numbers for sexual assaults in the military are far lower than numbers provided by other sources, primarily because the Pentagon only counts rapes that soldiers have officially reported. Even according to the Pentagon, 80 percent of assaults go unreported.
Pentagon spokesperson Cynthia Smith told IPS, "We understand this is very important for everyone to get involved in preventing sexual assault, and are calling on everyone to get involved, step in, and watch each others’ backs."
According to the DoD Report on Sexual Assault in the Military for Fiscal Year 2007, "There were 2,688 total reports of sexual assault involving Military Service Members," of which "The Military Services completed a total of 1,955 criminal investigations on reports made during or prior to FY07."
The criminal investigations yielded the shockingly low number of only 181 courts martial. "We understand that one sex assault is too many in the DoD," Smith told IPS, "We have an office working on prevention and response."
A 1995 study published in the Archives of Family Medicine found that 90 percent of female veterans from the 1991 U.S. attack on Iraq and earlier wars had been sexually harassed. A 2003 survey of women veterans from the period encompassing Vietnam and the 1991 Iraq attack, published in the American Journal of Industrial Medicine, found that 30 percent of the women soldiers said they were raped.
In 2004, a study of veterans from Vietnam and all wars since, published in the journal of Military Medicine, found that 71 percent of the women were sexually assaulted or raped while serving.
At the 2006 National Convention of Veterans for Peace in Seattle, April Fitzsimmons, who early in her career was raped by a soldier, met with 45 other female vets, and began compiling information.
"I asked for a show of hands of women veterans who had been assaulted while on duty, and half the women raised their hands," Fitzsimmons told IPS, "So I knew we had to do something."
She, along with other women veterans like Guzman, founded the Service Women’s Action Network (SWAN) to help military women who have been victims of sexual violence.
It is an uphill battle for women in the U.S. military to take on the system that clearly represses attempts to change it.
"When victims come forward, they are ostracised, doubted, and isolated from their communities," Fitzsimmons told IPS, "Many of the perpetrators are officers who use their ranks to coerce women to sleep with them. It’s a closely interwoven community, so the perpetrators are safe within the system and can fearlessly move free amongst their victims."
Fitzsimmons shared with IPS a view that underscores the gravity of the problem.
"The crisis is so severe that I’m telling women to simply not join the military because it’s completely unsafe and puts them at risk. Until something changes at the top, no woman should join the military."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Dahr Jamail
MARFA, Texas, United States, Apr 30 (IPS) - Sexual assault of women serving in the U.S. military, while brought to light in recent reports, has a long tradition in that institution.
Women in America were first allowed into the military during the Revolutionary War in 1775, and their travails are as old.
Maricela Guzman served in the Navy from 1998 to 2002 as a computer technician on the island of Diego Garcia, and later in Naples, Italy. She was raped while in boot camp, but was too scared to talk about the assault for the rest of her time in the military.
In her own words she, "survived by becoming a workaholic. Fortunately or unfortunately the military took advantage of this, and I was much awarded as a soldier for my work ethic."
Guzman decided to dissociate from the military on witnessing the way it treated the native population in Diego Garcia. Post discharge, her life became unmanageable. The effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from her rape had taken a heavy toll.
After undergoing a divorce, a failed suicide attempt and homelessness, she moved in with her parents. A chance encounter with a female veteran at a political event in Los Angeles prompted her to contact the veteran’s administration (VA) for help. She began seeing a therapist there who diagnosed her with PTSD from her rape.
She told IPS that the VA denied her claim nevertheless, "Because they said I couldn’t prove it ... since I had not brought it up when it happened and also because I had not shown any deviant behaviour while in the service. I was outraged and felt compelled to talk about what happened."
Two testimonies
April Fitzsimmons served in the Air Force from 1985 to 1989, as an intelligence analyst and intelligence briefer for a two-star general. Early in her military career, another solider sexually assaulted her.
Nineteen years old at the time of her rape, Fitzsimmons reported the assault, and named her perpetrator, who was removed from the base. However, she declined the offer of counselling “because there was a stigma attached to it,” she told IPS.
“Those who seek counselling are perceived to be at risk, as being too weak and vulnerable and it would have meant forfeiting my top-secret clearance to keep military intelligence classified,” she explained.
Another reason for maintaining silence on the matter was that Fitzsimmons was declared “airman (sic) of the year,” in the European command.
“I didn’t want to lose that,” she says, “I wanted the whole thing to go away.”
Fitzsimmons created a one-woman play, Need to Know, which has been running for six years. In the play, she addresses her own sexual assault in the military. When news of rapes and sexual assaults by U.S. soldiers in Iraq, against both other soldiers and Iraqis began to surface, Fitzsimmons became more active.
“After reading about the 14-year-old Iraqi girl, Abeer Qasim Hamza, who was raped by several soldiers, and about Suzanne Swift, a soldier who after being raped by another U.S. soldier went AWOL (absent without leave) rather than redeploy with the command that was responsible for allowing the rape to occur, I was convinced that there was a cycle of sexual violence in the military that was neither being seen nor addressed,” she says.
It is not difficult to ascertain the reason for so few sexual assaults being reported in the military. Jen Hogg of the New York Army National Guard told IPS, “I helped a woman report a sexual assault while she was in basic training. She was grabbed between the legs from behind while going up stairs. She was not able to pinpoint the person who did it.”
Hogg explained that her friend was afraid to report the incident to her drill sergeant, and went on to explain why, which also sheds light on why so many women opt not to report being sexually assaulted.
“During training, the position of authority the drill sergeant holds makes any and all reporting a daunting task, and most people are scared to even approach him or her,” Hogg told IPS, “In this case, the drill sergeant’s response was swift but caused resentment towards the female that made the report, because her identity was not hidden from males who were punished as a whole for the one.”
The incident displays another tactic used in the military to suppress women’s reportage of being sexually assaulted - that of not respecting their anonymity, which opens them up to further assaults.
“After this incident many of the males said harassing things to her as they passed her during training, so much so that she regretted having addressed the issue,” Hogg continued, “You can be ostracised as the woman who had dared to speak up. Women willing to speak up are trained to shut up, which results in an atmosphere of silence. After my experiences in basic and advanced individual training I never reported an incident again.”
Hogg herself faced verbal sexual harassment.
“When I removed my protective top in the heat I would often hear comments such as ‘where you been hiding them puppies’ in reference to my breasts.”
Based on her friends’ experience, Hogg did not even consider reporting.
To make matters worse, according to Department of Defense statistics, 84-85 percent of soldiers convicted of rape or sexual assault leave the military with honourable discharges. Not only are they not penalised, they are honoured.
Like countless others, Guzman learned early that the culture of the military promoted silence about sexual assault. Her experience over the years has convinced her that sexual violence is a systemic problem in the military.
"It has been happening since women were allowed into the service and will continue to happen after Iraq and Afghanistan," Guzman told IPS, "Through the gossip mill we would hear of women who had reported being raped. No confidentiality was maintained nor any protection given to them making them susceptible to fresh attacks."
"The boys’ club culture is strong and the competition exclusive," Guzman added, "To get ahead women have to be better than men. That forces many not to report rape, because it is a blemish and can ruin your career."
She is not hopeful of any radical change in policy anytime soon, but, "One good thing that has come out of this war is that people want to talk about this now."
More than 190,000 female soldiers have served thus far in Iraq and Afghanistan on the front lines, often having to confront sexual assault and harassment from their own comrades in arms.
The VA’s PTSD centre claims that the incidence of rape, assault, and harassment were higher in wartime during the 1991 U.S. attack on Iraq than during peacetime. Thus far, the numbers from Iraq show a continuance, and increase, of this disturbing trend.
The military is notorious for its sexist and misogynistic culture. Drill instructors indoctrinate new recruits by routinely calling them "girl," "pussy," "bitch," and "dyke." Pornography is prevalent, and misogynistic rhymes have existed for decades.
Understandably, Department of Defense (DoD) numbers for sexual assaults in the military are far lower than numbers provided by other sources, primarily because the Pentagon only counts rapes that soldiers have officially reported. Even according to the Pentagon, 80 percent of assaults go unreported.
Pentagon spokesperson Cynthia Smith told IPS, "We understand this is very important for everyone to get involved in preventing sexual assault, and are calling on everyone to get involved, step in, and watch each others’ backs."
According to the DoD Report on Sexual Assault in the Military for Fiscal Year 2007, "There were 2,688 total reports of sexual assault involving Military Service Members," of which "The Military Services completed a total of 1,955 criminal investigations on reports made during or prior to FY07."
The criminal investigations yielded the shockingly low number of only 181 courts martial. "We understand that one sex assault is too many in the DoD," Smith told IPS, "We have an office working on prevention and response."
A 1995 study published in the Archives of Family Medicine found that 90 percent of female veterans from the 1991 U.S. attack on Iraq and earlier wars had been sexually harassed. A 2003 survey of women veterans from the period encompassing Vietnam and the 1991 Iraq attack, published in the American Journal of Industrial Medicine, found that 30 percent of the women soldiers said they were raped.
In 2004, a study of veterans from Vietnam and all wars since, published in the journal of Military Medicine, found that 71 percent of the women were sexually assaulted or raped while serving.
At the 2006 National Convention of Veterans for Peace in Seattle, April Fitzsimmons, who early in her career was raped by a soldier, met with 45 other female vets, and began compiling information.
"I asked for a show of hands of women veterans who had been assaulted while on duty, and half the women raised their hands," Fitzsimmons told IPS, "So I knew we had to do something."
She, along with other women veterans like Guzman, founded the Service Women’s Action Network (SWAN) to help military women who have been victims of sexual violence.
It is an uphill battle for women in the U.S. military to take on the system that clearly represses attempts to change it.
"When victims come forward, they are ostracised, doubted, and isolated from their communities," Fitzsimmons told IPS, "Many of the perpetrators are officers who use their ranks to coerce women to sleep with them. It’s a closely interwoven community, so the perpetrators are safe within the system and can fearlessly move free amongst their victims."
Fitzsimmons shared with IPS a view that underscores the gravity of the problem.
"The crisis is so severe that I’m telling women to simply not join the military because it’s completely unsafe and puts them at risk. Until something changes at the top, no woman should join the military."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - 'He won't let go': Husband stalks divorce-seeking wife from his cell
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - 'He won't let go': Husband stalks divorce-seeking wife from his cell
By KITTY CAPARELLA - Philadelphia Daily News
FOUR YEARS after her husband shot her six times, repeatedly raped her and left her bleeding on the bathroom floor for hours, Crystal Haynes says that she's being victimized by him again - in court.
Today, she is to appear in Montgomery County Family Court for the ninth time in about 18 months to try to finalize a no-fault divorce she filed in 2005.
Her ex-husband, Kendall Williams, 49, is acting as his own attorney - filing motion after motion to prevent the divorce decree - from his jail cell at SCI Smithfield, a state prison in Huntingdon, Pa., where he's serving a 17 1/2-to-35-year jail term for attempted first-degree murder in the attack.
"I can't take it anymore," said Haynes, 49, who testified against him at a 2005 preliminary hearing for attempted murder.
"How much more can I be victimized? How can he keep dragging me back to court? Why is the judge allowing this?
"Why am I being subjected to this man's control?" she asked. "I'm still terrified of him. I want to have a normal life. I want closure."
Williams, former president of the Inquirer and Daily News security guard union from 1990 to 2001, is challenging every detail in the divorce, as if he were negotiating a union contract, she says.
Haynes said that there was no joint property to divide. But that hasn't stopped him. With each new motion, the two face each other on video monitors - he from prison, and she from court.
On a recent list of 98 demands, he wanted alimony, medical insurance, a washer/dryer, TV, computer printer, a videotape of his wife giving birth to their daughter, jewelry he gave his wife, the couple's two Siamese cats (Miles and Simba), and perishable and nonperishable food.
"In his prison cell?" she asked, in disbelief.
Two months ago, Williams sought a paternity test for their 28-year-old son, a motion denied by Family Court.
"I cannot imagine the frustration and anger [Crystal] feels," said Karen Model, an attorney with Montgomery County Crime Victims Project, who represents Haynes pro bono in her divorce, and who accompanied her during attempted-murder proceedings.
Model hopes that the property issues are resolved today.
"If he files something, he has the right to be heard," she said. "The problem is, he won't stop.
"The judges in Montgomery County are some of the finest anywhere," she added. "If they felt they could stop this, they would."
Williams' mother, Audrey Williams, 68, says that she believes that her son wants the divorce. "They should have never been married," she said. "Maybe things bother him. They could play on his mind."
Asked about 98 items he requested, she said, "I don't know why he would want to do that."
As for the birthing tape, she added, "He wants his things.
"In several letters, he said he was sorry things turned out like this," she added. "He messed up his life, her life, but he stayed in touch with his daughter. I think he does have remorse."
Model disagrees. "To me, he's a scary guy," she said. "He has such vengeance and hatred for her. He shows no remorse."
The divorce was granted in 2005, but the property distribution has not been resolved. Haynes must appear before a master, lawyer Mindy Harris, who must resolve property issues before making a recommendation to Montgomery County Common Pleas Judge R. Stephen Barrett, who issues the final decree.
Neither Harris nor Barrett returned calls for comment.
"We try to keep her away" from Williams in court, Model said. "He thinks he's Perry Mason. In his warped mind, he thinks there is case law" for his position.
Model blames access to the prison law library for Williams' frivolous motions, but a state prison spokeswoman said that, by law, prisons cannot prohibit access to the library.
Barton Washington, 53, a friend of the couple for about 30 years, last spoke to Williams about a year ago.
"Everything was about the things she did," he said. "No matter what she did, she didn't deserve to be shot six times. He had affairs all over the place.
"He's doing all he can to hold this [divorce] up," he added.
Haynes said that she turned over receipts - for trips and a swimming pool and deck he had built for a girlfriend - to her attorney.
The couple met at Cheney University in the late '70s. By April 2005, the 20-year marriage had been unraveling for some time when Haynes filed for divorce.
Haynes said that she was fed up with her husband's paranoia, the tracking device on her car, the private eye following her, in addition to Williams' federal conviction for a $32,000 theft of union funds, criminal charges for writing bad checks, his lies and girlfriends.
And she had begun to see someone else.
A month after she filed for divorce, Williams called her at work saying that he was going to commit suicide. She notified police, who took him in for a mental- health evaluation, Haynes said.
Williams' mother saw the incident differently. "Crystal thought he was talking crazy and put him in the hospital," she said.
On Sept. 5, 2005, Haynes was packing her belongings and getting ready for work when her out-of-work husband followed her from room to room in their three-bedroom apartment at Valley Forge Towers, in King of Prussia.
Thus began a 14-hour ordeal.
Hiding a gun under a pillow, he fired, striking her in the back, as she stood in the bathroom.
"I tried to get past him to the bedroom," she said. "We struggled, and he dragged me back in the bathroom and shoots me again in the pelvis and hip."
Standing over her, Williams yelled: "How did you get the money for the apartment?" He had been accessing her financial accounts, she said.
After she fell, she said, he sat on the floor, just inches away, and fired three more times, hitting her left earlobe, right hand, and right side of her neck.
"I don't want to die!" she pleaded, screaming in fear. "What about our kids?"
Then, she collapsed, pretending to be dead.
Williams disappeared, hid her car in a garage and when he returned, he took off his clothes, she said. With a towel, he wiped the dripping blood from her shattered pelvis.
"Then, he raped me orally and with penetration," she said. "A 200-pound-plus man, laying on me, raping me. There's nothing I could do."
For nine hours, she drifted in and out of consciousness on the bathroom floor, as blood coagulated around her.
About 6 p.m., her adrenalin spent, she awakened to pain all over her body. She tried to get up, only to realize she couldn't walk. Her leg was paralyzed. She wrapped a cord around the bathrom door knob, trying to keep it shut, keep him away.
Suddenly, a gunshot blasted. The bathroom door flew open. Williams stood there, a gun in his hand, she said.
"I'm going to kill myself," he told her.
Sobbing in pain, she said, "I can't walk."
He asked her to shoot him. She refused.
He told her he wasn't going to hurt her anymore.
She pleaded with him to call his mother, the police, anyone. She said she thought he was pretending to make calls in the bedroom, yet he mentioned nothing about her, naked from the waist down, on the floor in the next room. Crying, she told him whatever came to mind just to end the torture.
Finally, he called police, saying "My wife's hurt."
When Upper Merion police arrived about 10 p.m., they arrested Williams and found his tape-recorded confession saying that he was sorry. He was charged with attempted first-degree murder and 30 other counts, and held on $5 million bail.
Paramedics had Haynes airlifted to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, where she underwent multiple surgeries over 2 1/2 weeks.
Bullets had knicked her liver, fractured her right hand, left hip and a rib, and damaged nerves from her hip to her ankle, where she had no feeling.
Doctors told her that a bullet, which hit the right side of her neck, was so close to a main artery that she was lucky she hadn't bled to death.
While she was hospitalized, Haynes said, Valley Forge Towers demanded $1,000 to clean up the bloodied apartment, which she paid, and wanted her belongings out by the end of the month. Two Montgomery County detectives and their friends volunteered to move her.
After her release, she required two more operations to reconstruct her left ear and damaged neck. Her sister took her in, setting up a hospital bed in her living room. Haynes spent more than 18 months in physical therapy before she could walk again.
Model accompanied her to nearly 10 meetings with detectives and assistant District Attorney Wallis Brooks to prepare for the criminal case.
On July 9, 2007, almost two years after the incident, Williams pleaded guilty to attempted first-degree murder and a weapons violation. The other 29 charges were dropped.
Within weeks of his Oct. 2, 2007, sentencing, Williams appealed his conviction and began filing motions to challenge his divorce. Until the court stopped him, he sent legal documents to his ex-wife at her sister's home, instead of to her lawyer.
Ellen Adler, of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence, said that "perpetrators are manipulative and will use any means to harass or victimize the victim," including the courts.
In a global sense, she added, if the court is made aware of "an abuse of [the legal] process," the judge could say, " 'We've heard enough' and stop the case.
"It sounds like this guy is a classic abuser," she added. "He won't let go." *
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By KITTY CAPARELLA - Philadelphia Daily News
FOUR YEARS after her husband shot her six times, repeatedly raped her and left her bleeding on the bathroom floor for hours, Crystal Haynes says that she's being victimized by him again - in court.
Today, she is to appear in Montgomery County Family Court for the ninth time in about 18 months to try to finalize a no-fault divorce she filed in 2005.
Her ex-husband, Kendall Williams, 49, is acting as his own attorney - filing motion after motion to prevent the divorce decree - from his jail cell at SCI Smithfield, a state prison in Huntingdon, Pa., where he's serving a 17 1/2-to-35-year jail term for attempted first-degree murder in the attack.
"I can't take it anymore," said Haynes, 49, who testified against him at a 2005 preliminary hearing for attempted murder.
"How much more can I be victimized? How can he keep dragging me back to court? Why is the judge allowing this?
"Why am I being subjected to this man's control?" she asked. "I'm still terrified of him. I want to have a normal life. I want closure."
Williams, former president of the Inquirer and Daily News security guard union from 1990 to 2001, is challenging every detail in the divorce, as if he were negotiating a union contract, she says.
Haynes said that there was no joint property to divide. But that hasn't stopped him. With each new motion, the two face each other on video monitors - he from prison, and she from court.
On a recent list of 98 demands, he wanted alimony, medical insurance, a washer/dryer, TV, computer printer, a videotape of his wife giving birth to their daughter, jewelry he gave his wife, the couple's two Siamese cats (Miles and Simba), and perishable and nonperishable food.
"In his prison cell?" she asked, in disbelief.
Two months ago, Williams sought a paternity test for their 28-year-old son, a motion denied by Family Court.
"I cannot imagine the frustration and anger [Crystal] feels," said Karen Model, an attorney with Montgomery County Crime Victims Project, who represents Haynes pro bono in her divorce, and who accompanied her during attempted-murder proceedings.
Model hopes that the property issues are resolved today.
"If he files something, he has the right to be heard," she said. "The problem is, he won't stop.
"The judges in Montgomery County are some of the finest anywhere," she added. "If they felt they could stop this, they would."
Williams' mother, Audrey Williams, 68, says that she believes that her son wants the divorce. "They should have never been married," she said. "Maybe things bother him. They could play on his mind."
Asked about 98 items he requested, she said, "I don't know why he would want to do that."
As for the birthing tape, she added, "He wants his things.
"In several letters, he said he was sorry things turned out like this," she added. "He messed up his life, her life, but he stayed in touch with his daughter. I think he does have remorse."
Model disagrees. "To me, he's a scary guy," she said. "He has such vengeance and hatred for her. He shows no remorse."
The divorce was granted in 2005, but the property distribution has not been resolved. Haynes must appear before a master, lawyer Mindy Harris, who must resolve property issues before making a recommendation to Montgomery County Common Pleas Judge R. Stephen Barrett, who issues the final decree.
Neither Harris nor Barrett returned calls for comment.
"We try to keep her away" from Williams in court, Model said. "He thinks he's Perry Mason. In his warped mind, he thinks there is case law" for his position.
Model blames access to the prison law library for Williams' frivolous motions, but a state prison spokeswoman said that, by law, prisons cannot prohibit access to the library.
Barton Washington, 53, a friend of the couple for about 30 years, last spoke to Williams about a year ago.
"Everything was about the things she did," he said. "No matter what she did, she didn't deserve to be shot six times. He had affairs all over the place.
"He's doing all he can to hold this [divorce] up," he added.
Haynes said that she turned over receipts - for trips and a swimming pool and deck he had built for a girlfriend - to her attorney.
The couple met at Cheney University in the late '70s. By April 2005, the 20-year marriage had been unraveling for some time when Haynes filed for divorce.
Haynes said that she was fed up with her husband's paranoia, the tracking device on her car, the private eye following her, in addition to Williams' federal conviction for a $32,000 theft of union funds, criminal charges for writing bad checks, his lies and girlfriends.
And she had begun to see someone else.
A month after she filed for divorce, Williams called her at work saying that he was going to commit suicide. She notified police, who took him in for a mental- health evaluation, Haynes said.
Williams' mother saw the incident differently. "Crystal thought he was talking crazy and put him in the hospital," she said.
On Sept. 5, 2005, Haynes was packing her belongings and getting ready for work when her out-of-work husband followed her from room to room in their three-bedroom apartment at Valley Forge Towers, in King of Prussia.
Thus began a 14-hour ordeal.
Hiding a gun under a pillow, he fired, striking her in the back, as she stood in the bathroom.
"I tried to get past him to the bedroom," she said. "We struggled, and he dragged me back in the bathroom and shoots me again in the pelvis and hip."
Standing over her, Williams yelled: "How did you get the money for the apartment?" He had been accessing her financial accounts, she said.
After she fell, she said, he sat on the floor, just inches away, and fired three more times, hitting her left earlobe, right hand, and right side of her neck.
"I don't want to die!" she pleaded, screaming in fear. "What about our kids?"
Then, she collapsed, pretending to be dead.
Williams disappeared, hid her car in a garage and when he returned, he took off his clothes, she said. With a towel, he wiped the dripping blood from her shattered pelvis.
"Then, he raped me orally and with penetration," she said. "A 200-pound-plus man, laying on me, raping me. There's nothing I could do."
For nine hours, she drifted in and out of consciousness on the bathroom floor, as blood coagulated around her.
About 6 p.m., her adrenalin spent, she awakened to pain all over her body. She tried to get up, only to realize she couldn't walk. Her leg was paralyzed. She wrapped a cord around the bathrom door knob, trying to keep it shut, keep him away.
Suddenly, a gunshot blasted. The bathroom door flew open. Williams stood there, a gun in his hand, she said.
"I'm going to kill myself," he told her.
Sobbing in pain, she said, "I can't walk."
He asked her to shoot him. She refused.
He told her he wasn't going to hurt her anymore.
She pleaded with him to call his mother, the police, anyone. She said she thought he was pretending to make calls in the bedroom, yet he mentioned nothing about her, naked from the waist down, on the floor in the next room. Crying, she told him whatever came to mind just to end the torture.
Finally, he called police, saying "My wife's hurt."
When Upper Merion police arrived about 10 p.m., they arrested Williams and found his tape-recorded confession saying that he was sorry. He was charged with attempted first-degree murder and 30 other counts, and held on $5 million bail.
Paramedics had Haynes airlifted to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, where she underwent multiple surgeries over 2 1/2 weeks.
Bullets had knicked her liver, fractured her right hand, left hip and a rib, and damaged nerves from her hip to her ankle, where she had no feeling.
Doctors told her that a bullet, which hit the right side of her neck, was so close to a main artery that she was lucky she hadn't bled to death.
While she was hospitalized, Haynes said, Valley Forge Towers demanded $1,000 to clean up the bloodied apartment, which she paid, and wanted her belongings out by the end of the month. Two Montgomery County detectives and their friends volunteered to move her.
After her release, she required two more operations to reconstruct her left ear and damaged neck. Her sister took her in, setting up a hospital bed in her living room. Haynes spent more than 18 months in physical therapy before she could walk again.
Model accompanied her to nearly 10 meetings with detectives and assistant District Attorney Wallis Brooks to prepare for the criminal case.
On July 9, 2007, almost two years after the incident, Williams pleaded guilty to attempted first-degree murder and a weapons violation. The other 29 charges were dropped.
Within weeks of his Oct. 2, 2007, sentencing, Williams appealed his conviction and began filing motions to challenge his divorce. Until the court stopped him, he sent legal documents to his ex-wife at her sister's home, instead of to her lawyer.
Ellen Adler, of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence, said that "perpetrators are manipulative and will use any means to harass or victimize the victim," including the courts.
In a global sense, she added, if the court is made aware of "an abuse of [the legal] process," the judge could say, " 'We've heard enough' and stop the case.
"It sounds like this guy is a classic abuser," she added. "He won't let go." *
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Lawyer - 8-year-old Saudi girl divorces 50-year-old husband
Augusta Military Divorce Lawyer - 8-year-old Saudi girl divorces 50-year-old husband
By HADEEL AL-SHALCHI – AP
CAIRO (AP) — An 8-year-old Saudi girl has divorced her middle-aged husband after her father forced her to marry him last year in exchange for about $13,000, her divorce lawyer said Thursday.
Saudi Arabia has come under increasing criticism at home and abroad for permitting child marriages. The United States, a close ally of the conservative Muslim kingdom, has called child marriage a "clear and unacceptable" violation of human rights.
The girl was allowed to divorce the 50-year-old man who she married in August after an out-of-court settlement had been reached in the case, said her lawyer, Abdulla al-Jeteli. The exact date of the divorce was not immediately known.
A court in the central Oneiza region previously rejected a request by the girl's mother for a divorce and ruled that the girl would have to wait until she reached puberty to file a petition then.
There are no laws in Saudi Arabia defining the minimum age for marriage. Though a woman's consent is legally required, some marriage officials don't seek it.
But there has been a push by Saudi human rights groups to define the age of marriage and put an end to the phenomenon.
One Saudi human rights activist Sohaila Zain al-Abdeen was optimistic that the girl's divorce would help efforts to get a law passed enforcing a minimum marriage age of 18.
"Unfortunately, some fathers trade their daughters," she told The Associated Press. "They are weak people who are sometimes in need of money and forget their roles as parents."
It was not clear if the man received money for the divorce settlement. The man had given the girl's father 50,000 riyals, or about $13,350, as a marriage gift in return for his daughter, the lawyer said.
The 8-year-old girl's marriage was not the only one in the kingdom to receive attention in recent months. Saudi newspapers have highlighted several cases in which young girls were married off to much older men or young boys including a 15-year-old girl whose father, a death-row inmate, married her off to a cell mate.
Saudi Arabia's conservative Muslim clergy have opposed the drive to end child marriages. In January, the kingdom's most senior cleric said it was permissible for 10-year-old girls to marry and those who believe they are too young are doing the girls an injustice.
But some in the government appear to support the movement to set a minimum age for marriage. The kingdom's new justice minister was quoted in mid-April as saying the government was doing a study on underage marriage that would include regulations.
There are no statistics to show how many marriages involving children are performed in Saudi Arabia every year. Activists say the girls are given away in return for hefty marriage gifts or as a result of long-standing custom in which a father promises his infant daughters and sons to cousins out of a belief that marriage will protect them from illicit relationships.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By HADEEL AL-SHALCHI – AP
CAIRO (AP) — An 8-year-old Saudi girl has divorced her middle-aged husband after her father forced her to marry him last year in exchange for about $13,000, her divorce lawyer said Thursday.
Saudi Arabia has come under increasing criticism at home and abroad for permitting child marriages. The United States, a close ally of the conservative Muslim kingdom, has called child marriage a "clear and unacceptable" violation of human rights.
The girl was allowed to divorce the 50-year-old man who she married in August after an out-of-court settlement had been reached in the case, said her lawyer, Abdulla al-Jeteli. The exact date of the divorce was not immediately known.
A court in the central Oneiza region previously rejected a request by the girl's mother for a divorce and ruled that the girl would have to wait until she reached puberty to file a petition then.
There are no laws in Saudi Arabia defining the minimum age for marriage. Though a woman's consent is legally required, some marriage officials don't seek it.
But there has been a push by Saudi human rights groups to define the age of marriage and put an end to the phenomenon.
One Saudi human rights activist Sohaila Zain al-Abdeen was optimistic that the girl's divorce would help efforts to get a law passed enforcing a minimum marriage age of 18.
"Unfortunately, some fathers trade their daughters," she told The Associated Press. "They are weak people who are sometimes in need of money and forget their roles as parents."
It was not clear if the man received money for the divorce settlement. The man had given the girl's father 50,000 riyals, or about $13,350, as a marriage gift in return for his daughter, the lawyer said.
The 8-year-old girl's marriage was not the only one in the kingdom to receive attention in recent months. Saudi newspapers have highlighted several cases in which young girls were married off to much older men or young boys including a 15-year-old girl whose father, a death-row inmate, married her off to a cell mate.
Saudi Arabia's conservative Muslim clergy have opposed the drive to end child marriages. In January, the kingdom's most senior cleric said it was permissible for 10-year-old girls to marry and those who believe they are too young are doing the girls an injustice.
But some in the government appear to support the movement to set a minimum age for marriage. The kingdom's new justice minister was quoted in mid-April as saying the government was doing a study on underage marriage that would include regulations.
There are no statistics to show how many marriages involving children are performed in Saudi Arabia every year. Activists say the girls are given away in return for hefty marriage gifts or as a result of long-standing custom in which a father promises his infant daughters and sons to cousins out of a belief that marriage will protect them from illicit relationships.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Hunting for the secrets of a happy marriage
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Hunting for the secrets of a happy marriage
By A. Pawlowski - CNN
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" -- Leo Tolstoy, "Anna Karenina"
(CNN) -- No one can truly know what goes on inside a marriage except the two people involved, but researchers are getting increasingly good glimpses at what makes couples tick, how relationships are stressed and what factors can keep the spark alive.
The goal: To find out what keeps love alive and couples together.
Putting marriage under a microscope has resulted in new long-term studies that are showing better than ever how a birth or simple boredom can drain a union.
More surprisingly, old photographs might help predict your chances of getting a divorce, new research suggests.
All of the findings can help couples learn lessons about their relationships and their spouses, said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine who specializes in couples and families and also serves as chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia.
To have children or not?
Movies often portray the birth of a child as a joyous event that solidifies a couple's union, but the arrival of the first baby puts a sudden, important strain on a marriage, according to a study published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Researchers followed more than 200 couples for eight years after their wedding -- the longest study yet looking at the impact of a child on marriage.
About 90 percent of mothers and fathers saw at least some decreases in relationship satisfaction after they became parents, said Brian Doss, assistant psychology professor at Texas A&M University and one of the authors of the study.
Spouses who were the most romantic before the birth of their child found the transition to parenthood the most difficult.
"Couples who were really enjoying a lot of the quality time they were spending before birth had a lot more to lose," Doss said.
"Whereas couples who just naturally over time had adopted more of a friendship relationship, kind of a co-partner relationship, perhaps didn't miss or didn't notice the loss of that connection as much."
Staying childless wasn't the secret to marital bliss, however. Couples in the study who didn't have children still became less happy with their marriage, just much more gradually than those who had children.
Couples considering starting a family may find the results alarming, but psychologists say they serve as a reminder that a relationship needs to be nurtured.
"People tend to be less dedicated to their relationship and not prioritize being with each other," Kaslow said. "This deterioration seems to be pretty sudden right after the birth, so that's a particularly crucial time to be mindful of it."
Simple steps can go a long way to keeping a relationship strong. Couples can start by setting aside some private time every day, even if it's just 15 minutes, and scheduling a weekly date, Kaslow advised.
How to fight boredom
Most people think that problems and tension spell trouble in a marriage, but a new study has found boredom is also a powerful force in eroding marital bliss.
Couples who reported being in a rut seven years into their marriage were significantly less satisfied with their relationship when researchers checked back with them nine years later, according to a study to be published next month in Psychological Science.
"For boredom to have such long-term implications I think is very significant," said co-author Terri Orbuch, a research professor at the University of Michigan and a professor of sociology at Oakland University.
But closeness over time can eliminate that effect, the study also found.
How can couples get close if they're feeling bored? Sharing novel activities with each other -- like taking a cooking class or learning to ski -- is the key, said Orbuch, who has been following a group of married couples for 22 years and is writing a book about their marriage strategies.
Some boredom is inevitable in a marriage, but it is absolutely possible for a couple to reignite a relationship, Kaslow agreed.
Her parents have just started taking classes about opera together and have assembled a "bucket list" of all the places in the world they still haven't been to that they would like to visit.
"They want to do more exciting things even at their age to nurture the relationship. I think that's what healthy long-term relationships do," Kaslow said.
What do photos reveal?
Surprisingly, a possible clue about whether you stay married or get divorced may be contained in your photo album.
Researchers analyzed photos taken in childhood or young adulthood from hundreds of people and rated their expressions on a "smile intensity score."
The less intensely the subjects smiled, the more likely they would be divorced later in life, while the biggest smilers had lower divorce rates, according to a study published online this month by the journal Motivation and Emotion.
Scientists don't know what accounts for the link, but say a smile may indicate higher levels of positive emotions and signal other traits, said co-author Matt Hertenstein, associate professor of psychology at DePauw University and head of the school's Touch and Emotion Lab.
"People who smile a lot may attract happier people and maybe happier marriage partners," Hertenstein said. "It may be that people who smile in response to a photographer are more obedient people and obedience may help in a marriage. I really don't know the explanation."
Before you run to check your spouse's yearbook photo, keep in mind one picture can't tell the whole story, Kaslow said.
"I think the issue really is both getting a sense of a whole set of pictures and also the level of positivity that [people] bring into life and relationships," she said.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By A. Pawlowski - CNN
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" -- Leo Tolstoy, "Anna Karenina"
(CNN) -- No one can truly know what goes on inside a marriage except the two people involved, but researchers are getting increasingly good glimpses at what makes couples tick, how relationships are stressed and what factors can keep the spark alive.
The goal: To find out what keeps love alive and couples together.
Putting marriage under a microscope has resulted in new long-term studies that are showing better than ever how a birth or simple boredom can drain a union.
More surprisingly, old photographs might help predict your chances of getting a divorce, new research suggests.
All of the findings can help couples learn lessons about their relationships and their spouses, said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine who specializes in couples and families and also serves as chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia.
To have children or not?
Movies often portray the birth of a child as a joyous event that solidifies a couple's union, but the arrival of the first baby puts a sudden, important strain on a marriage, according to a study published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Researchers followed more than 200 couples for eight years after their wedding -- the longest study yet looking at the impact of a child on marriage.
About 90 percent of mothers and fathers saw at least some decreases in relationship satisfaction after they became parents, said Brian Doss, assistant psychology professor at Texas A&M University and one of the authors of the study.
Spouses who were the most romantic before the birth of their child found the transition to parenthood the most difficult.
"Couples who were really enjoying a lot of the quality time they were spending before birth had a lot more to lose," Doss said.
"Whereas couples who just naturally over time had adopted more of a friendship relationship, kind of a co-partner relationship, perhaps didn't miss or didn't notice the loss of that connection as much."
Staying childless wasn't the secret to marital bliss, however. Couples in the study who didn't have children still became less happy with their marriage, just much more gradually than those who had children.
Couples considering starting a family may find the results alarming, but psychologists say they serve as a reminder that a relationship needs to be nurtured.
"People tend to be less dedicated to their relationship and not prioritize being with each other," Kaslow said. "This deterioration seems to be pretty sudden right after the birth, so that's a particularly crucial time to be mindful of it."
Simple steps can go a long way to keeping a relationship strong. Couples can start by setting aside some private time every day, even if it's just 15 minutes, and scheduling a weekly date, Kaslow advised.
How to fight boredom
Most people think that problems and tension spell trouble in a marriage, but a new study has found boredom is also a powerful force in eroding marital bliss.
Couples who reported being in a rut seven years into their marriage were significantly less satisfied with their relationship when researchers checked back with them nine years later, according to a study to be published next month in Psychological Science.
"For boredom to have such long-term implications I think is very significant," said co-author Terri Orbuch, a research professor at the University of Michigan and a professor of sociology at Oakland University.
But closeness over time can eliminate that effect, the study also found.
How can couples get close if they're feeling bored? Sharing novel activities with each other -- like taking a cooking class or learning to ski -- is the key, said Orbuch, who has been following a group of married couples for 22 years and is writing a book about their marriage strategies.
Some boredom is inevitable in a marriage, but it is absolutely possible for a couple to reignite a relationship, Kaslow agreed.
Her parents have just started taking classes about opera together and have assembled a "bucket list" of all the places in the world they still haven't been to that they would like to visit.
"They want to do more exciting things even at their age to nurture the relationship. I think that's what healthy long-term relationships do," Kaslow said.
What do photos reveal?
Surprisingly, a possible clue about whether you stay married or get divorced may be contained in your photo album.
Researchers analyzed photos taken in childhood or young adulthood from hundreds of people and rated their expressions on a "smile intensity score."
The less intensely the subjects smiled, the more likely they would be divorced later in life, while the biggest smilers had lower divorce rates, according to a study published online this month by the journal Motivation and Emotion.
Scientists don't know what accounts for the link, but say a smile may indicate higher levels of positive emotions and signal other traits, said co-author Matt Hertenstein, associate professor of psychology at DePauw University and head of the school's Touch and Emotion Lab.
"People who smile a lot may attract happier people and maybe happier marriage partners," Hertenstein said. "It may be that people who smile in response to a photographer are more obedient people and obedience may help in a marriage. I really don't know the explanation."
Before you run to check your spouse's yearbook photo, keep in mind one picture can't tell the whole story, Kaslow said.
"I think the issue really is both getting a sense of a whole set of pictures and also the level of positivity that [people] bring into life and relationships," she said.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Some Seek Help for Grandparent Caregivers
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Some Seek Help for Grandparent Caregivers
by Bryan Mitchell
The mother of three Airmen is asking the military to extend financial assistance to grandparents who are caring for their grandchildren because of a military deployment.
"I need to have a job and these kids need to get that early education," Rasham Prassad told Military.com in a recent interview. "We are proud to have our children serve the country, and are happy to care for Priya, but to have help with the day care would be a great idea."
Prassad flew to California last fall to pick up 2-year-old Priya from her mother who was stationed at Travis Air Force Base, Calif. Priya's mother, Staff Sgt. Doreen Prassad, was slated to return from Iraq this month.
"I know that I am not the only single parent soldier who has been rescued by my parents," Prassad told Military.com in an e-mail. "There are several grandparents out there who have done the same. It is amazing to me to have such support and I am so thankful that my parents agreed to do this."
The military does not keep an official tally on the number of grandparents caring for military dependents during deployments but anecdotal evidence suggests the practice is widespread.
There are 140,000 single parents serving across the active and reserve forces. As of the latest count, there are roughly 23,468 single parents deployed abroad while nearly 190,000 single parents have deployed since the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan commenced.
In some cases, the child's other parent or guardian can step in to care for children during a deployment. Some, like Staff Sgt. Prassad, don't enjoy that luxury.
Nationwide, there are approximately 2.5 million grandparents caring for their children's children, according to Amy Goyer, vice president for outreach with grandparents.com. Like almost any trend impacting the nation at large, the military also has its fair share of grandparent caregivers.
"There are a lot of them out there and they tend to be silent because they don't want to complain," Goyer said. "They are not verbal about it, but they really step up and ensure the military member can do their job."
The issue gained the attention of Congress last year which passed a law allowing service members to name their parents who are caring for their children as the beneficiary of the $100,000 death benefit.
So far, 508 single parents have been killed serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, according to the Pentagon.
Air Force spokesman Capt. Tom Wenz said there are a number of Air Force Web sites that provide information designed to support those caring for the children of Airmen during a deployment.
"Part of the pre-deployment planning that we all go through is to ensure there is an effective family care plan," Wenz said. "As part of that, officials from the base's family support center will tell them what benefits and unique programs there are to support their situation."
He stressed that families in a situation like Prassad's are not restricted to the Airman's duty station when looking for support. They could approach family support services at any nearby Air Force installation.
Even if things go well planning for the deployment, living with grandma and grandpa while the parent's overseas is far from a months-long trip to Disney World.
"There are so many issues that go along with this situation. They've got emotional and psychological issues. They are not with them. It doesn't matter if they are in California or Iraq, they are not with their parent," Goyer said. "Then there are financial issues and health issues."
"It can be a lot to deal with, especially for grandparents who haven't dealt with babies or infants in decades."
Goyer stressed that grandparents exercise due diligence in ensuring all legal documents in are in order before a deployment. As they say, prepare for the worst and pray for the best.
"Things happen while they are away. Unexpected things and sometimes grandparents get involved in that, too," Goyer said.
A problem that has grown as more deployments put further stress on single military members is child custody battles.
Again, there is no nationwide count on the number of service members fighting to regain custody of their child following a deployment, but rising divorce numbers and deployments that show no sign of abating promise further conflict between parents vying for custody.
Some states have passed laws in recent years to limit the impact of custody battles during military deployments, but laws vary widely by state and there is no federal statute protecting troops.
"They are not always protected in the same way," Goyer said. "Sometimes the court will look at it and say we have to do what's best for the child and the grandparents are back trying to deal with it on the home front."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
by Bryan Mitchell
The mother of three Airmen is asking the military to extend financial assistance to grandparents who are caring for their grandchildren because of a military deployment.
"I need to have a job and these kids need to get that early education," Rasham Prassad told Military.com in a recent interview. "We are proud to have our children serve the country, and are happy to care for Priya, but to have help with the day care would be a great idea."
Prassad flew to California last fall to pick up 2-year-old Priya from her mother who was stationed at Travis Air Force Base, Calif. Priya's mother, Staff Sgt. Doreen Prassad, was slated to return from Iraq this month.
"I know that I am not the only single parent soldier who has been rescued by my parents," Prassad told Military.com in an e-mail. "There are several grandparents out there who have done the same. It is amazing to me to have such support and I am so thankful that my parents agreed to do this."
The military does not keep an official tally on the number of grandparents caring for military dependents during deployments but anecdotal evidence suggests the practice is widespread.
There are 140,000 single parents serving across the active and reserve forces. As of the latest count, there are roughly 23,468 single parents deployed abroad while nearly 190,000 single parents have deployed since the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan commenced.
In some cases, the child's other parent or guardian can step in to care for children during a deployment. Some, like Staff Sgt. Prassad, don't enjoy that luxury.
Nationwide, there are approximately 2.5 million grandparents caring for their children's children, according to Amy Goyer, vice president for outreach with grandparents.com. Like almost any trend impacting the nation at large, the military also has its fair share of grandparent caregivers.
"There are a lot of them out there and they tend to be silent because they don't want to complain," Goyer said. "They are not verbal about it, but they really step up and ensure the military member can do their job."
The issue gained the attention of Congress last year which passed a law allowing service members to name their parents who are caring for their children as the beneficiary of the $100,000 death benefit.
So far, 508 single parents have been killed serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, according to the Pentagon.
Air Force spokesman Capt. Tom Wenz said there are a number of Air Force Web sites that provide information designed to support those caring for the children of Airmen during a deployment.
"Part of the pre-deployment planning that we all go through is to ensure there is an effective family care plan," Wenz said. "As part of that, officials from the base's family support center will tell them what benefits and unique programs there are to support their situation."
He stressed that families in a situation like Prassad's are not restricted to the Airman's duty station when looking for support. They could approach family support services at any nearby Air Force installation.
Even if things go well planning for the deployment, living with grandma and grandpa while the parent's overseas is far from a months-long trip to Disney World.
"There are so many issues that go along with this situation. They've got emotional and psychological issues. They are not with them. It doesn't matter if they are in California or Iraq, they are not with their parent," Goyer said. "Then there are financial issues and health issues."
"It can be a lot to deal with, especially for grandparents who haven't dealt with babies or infants in decades."
Goyer stressed that grandparents exercise due diligence in ensuring all legal documents in are in order before a deployment. As they say, prepare for the worst and pray for the best.
"Things happen while they are away. Unexpected things and sometimes grandparents get involved in that, too," Goyer said.
A problem that has grown as more deployments put further stress on single military members is child custody battles.
Again, there is no nationwide count on the number of service members fighting to regain custody of their child following a deployment, but rising divorce numbers and deployments that show no sign of abating promise further conflict between parents vying for custody.
Some states have passed laws in recent years to limit the impact of custody battles during military deployments, but laws vary widely by state and there is no federal statute protecting troops.
"They are not always protected in the same way," Goyer said. "Sometimes the court will look at it and say we have to do what's best for the child and the grandparents are back trying to deal with it on the home front."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Military spouses deserve a special nod
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Military spouses deserve a special nod
Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10, 2009. If you need a reminder just check your calendar.
What you might not find on that calendar, however, is that the Friday before Mother's Day is designated as a day of remembrance for another very special group — it's called Military Spouse Day.
Military Spouse Day was first celebrated 25 years ago. President Ronald Reagan signed a proclamation assigning the Friday before Mother' Day as a time to honor and commemorate the contributions of military spouses. It is likely that few people are even aware this special day exists.
Military families clearly live a different life then their civilian counterparts. The military family might have the opportunity to travel to wondrous places they might never had a chance to visit as civilians. Their duty stations could be in Europe, the Far East, the South Pacific, or even beautiful areas of this country. But, there is another side to being a military spouse.
While most marriages undergo stressful situations from time to time, the military spouse undergoes a different kind of stress and responsibility. For example, it is more than likely that every few years there will be a relocation move and upheaval. The necessity of going to a new base, making new friends, getting familiar with the new surroundings can be very trying. There is the chance of being assigned to a location that might not always be a scenic spot and could be an area that is extremely cold in the winter and excessively hot in the summer and miles from the nearest town.
There is also the dreaded deployment to a war zone, when the military partner might be gone, not just for several months, but for a year or more. The military spouse could be left alone thousands of miles away from the friends and relatives back home. There could be long periods raising the children alone, and having to learn to function without that husband or wife around. They could spend waking hours and sleepless nights worrying and wondering if their loved one will return whole, physically and mentally.
Then after a long separation period there is the period of readjustment when the military partner returns. Will everything be as it was before? Unfortunately, for some, these obstacles become too much to overcome and the marriage ends in divorce. The rate of divorce in the military, as reported in one study, is about 3.3 percent (25,000 failed marriages among 755,000 married active duty troops during the year of 2006 and 2007). Military spouses are not all females, and the rate of divorce where the person in the military is female and the husband is a civilian could be as high as 8 percent.
Being a military spouse can be rewarding but, it can also be very challenging. Those military spouses who accept the military lifestyle for themselves and their family, do so because they truly believe their life has purpose. To the military spouse the words honor, duty, sacrifice have real meaning and are not just punch lines in some speech given by those who never served in the military or never endured the sacrifices of a being military spouse.
It has been reported that during his retirement ceremony, Navy Chief Petty Officer Jeff Edwards, said this to his wife: "You are a patriot — the sort of citizen that all of us should be, but so few are. You live with sacrifice, because you believe in the rights and ideals that your husband defends. Although you wear no uniform, you are part of that defense — a vital link in the chain of freedom. Although you wear no medals and will reap no glory on the field of battle, you are a hero in the truest sense of the word. You are a military spouse."
His thoughts could easily apply to all military spouses. His words echo the much-used phrase that was derived from World War II, "They also serve who stand and wait."
As we celebrate and honor all mothers this Mother's Day, let us also take a moment on the Friday before Mother's Day (May 8) to remember that very special, dedicated group — the Military Spouse.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10, 2009. If you need a reminder just check your calendar.
What you might not find on that calendar, however, is that the Friday before Mother's Day is designated as a day of remembrance for another very special group — it's called Military Spouse Day.
Military Spouse Day was first celebrated 25 years ago. President Ronald Reagan signed a proclamation assigning the Friday before Mother' Day as a time to honor and commemorate the contributions of military spouses. It is likely that few people are even aware this special day exists.
Military families clearly live a different life then their civilian counterparts. The military family might have the opportunity to travel to wondrous places they might never had a chance to visit as civilians. Their duty stations could be in Europe, the Far East, the South Pacific, or even beautiful areas of this country. But, there is another side to being a military spouse.
While most marriages undergo stressful situations from time to time, the military spouse undergoes a different kind of stress and responsibility. For example, it is more than likely that every few years there will be a relocation move and upheaval. The necessity of going to a new base, making new friends, getting familiar with the new surroundings can be very trying. There is the chance of being assigned to a location that might not always be a scenic spot and could be an area that is extremely cold in the winter and excessively hot in the summer and miles from the nearest town.
There is also the dreaded deployment to a war zone, when the military partner might be gone, not just for several months, but for a year or more. The military spouse could be left alone thousands of miles away from the friends and relatives back home. There could be long periods raising the children alone, and having to learn to function without that husband or wife around. They could spend waking hours and sleepless nights worrying and wondering if their loved one will return whole, physically and mentally.
Then after a long separation period there is the period of readjustment when the military partner returns. Will everything be as it was before? Unfortunately, for some, these obstacles become too much to overcome and the marriage ends in divorce. The rate of divorce in the military, as reported in one study, is about 3.3 percent (25,000 failed marriages among 755,000 married active duty troops during the year of 2006 and 2007). Military spouses are not all females, and the rate of divorce where the person in the military is female and the husband is a civilian could be as high as 8 percent.
Being a military spouse can be rewarding but, it can also be very challenging. Those military spouses who accept the military lifestyle for themselves and their family, do so because they truly believe their life has purpose. To the military spouse the words honor, duty, sacrifice have real meaning and are not just punch lines in some speech given by those who never served in the military or never endured the sacrifices of a being military spouse.
It has been reported that during his retirement ceremony, Navy Chief Petty Officer Jeff Edwards, said this to his wife: "You are a patriot — the sort of citizen that all of us should be, but so few are. You live with sacrifice, because you believe in the rights and ideals that your husband defends. Although you wear no uniform, you are part of that defense — a vital link in the chain of freedom. Although you wear no medals and will reap no glory on the field of battle, you are a hero in the truest sense of the word. You are a military spouse."
His thoughts could easily apply to all military spouses. His words echo the much-used phrase that was derived from World War II, "They also serve who stand and wait."
As we celebrate and honor all mothers this Mother's Day, let us also take a moment on the Friday before Mother's Day (May 8) to remember that very special, dedicated group — the Military Spouse.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Fisherman to pay £3.3m in divorce
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Fisherman to pay £3.3m in divorce
An Aberdeenshire fisherman has been ordered to pay his former wife of 25 years more than £3.3m under a divorce settlement.
Ann Watt was awarded more than double the amount she claimed husband James had offered.
Mr Watt, 53, of Rosehearty, is a successful businessman, fishing for mackerel and herring.
A judge at the Court of Session in Edinburgh ordered that £2m be paid immediately.
Mrs Watt said her husband had stated, at about the time they separated, that he was worth between £10m and £12m.
She said at one stage her husband had told her he had signed a document which would result in her not getting anything.
The court heard Mr Watt had an interest in a firm Mewstead which borrowed £15m from the banks to build two 'super trawlers' Ocean Quest and Ocean Venture.
Judge Lady Smith said Mrs Watt already had ownership of some property and more would be transferred to her, but the judge ordered that Mr Watt pay his ex-wife £3,369,000 as a capital sum.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
An Aberdeenshire fisherman has been ordered to pay his former wife of 25 years more than £3.3m under a divorce settlement.
Ann Watt was awarded more than double the amount she claimed husband James had offered.
Mr Watt, 53, of Rosehearty, is a successful businessman, fishing for mackerel and herring.
A judge at the Court of Session in Edinburgh ordered that £2m be paid immediately.
Mrs Watt said her husband had stated, at about the time they separated, that he was worth between £10m and £12m.
She said at one stage her husband had told her he had signed a document which would result in her not getting anything.
The court heard Mr Watt had an interest in a firm Mewstead which borrowed £15m from the banks to build two 'super trawlers' Ocean Quest and Ocean Venture.
Judge Lady Smith said Mrs Watt already had ownership of some property and more would be transferred to her, but the judge ordered that Mr Watt pay his ex-wife £3,369,000 as a capital sum.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Recession Causing Some To Put Off Divorce
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Recession Causing Some To Put Off Divorce
The recession is forcing many couples to cut back on a number of things they would have done in better economic times and apparently divorce is one of them.
According to the Sacramento Bee, divorce filings compiled by the family law court in Sacramento County fell in 2008 compared to the previous year and are continuing to fall in the first few months of 2009.
One of the reasons for this may be the economy and the idea that it might be cheaper to stick with a messy marriage rather than foot the expense of splitting up. But perhaps even more daunting to those considering a divorce has been the loss of their retirement account or the equity in their home.
"We used to have enough equity in one house for people to set up the mom's house and the dad's house. One person would keep the house, and the other would keep the retirement," Carol Delzer, a Sacramento divorce lawyer told the paper. "Now there's no more equity, and there's less money in the 401(k)."
Although the number of divorces may be down in Sacramento, a little further south in Hollywood there are plenty of divorces to talk about. Recently Mel Gibson's wife Robyn Gibson filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage in what most say will be one of the most costly divorces in history.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
The recession is forcing many couples to cut back on a number of things they would have done in better economic times and apparently divorce is one of them.
According to the Sacramento Bee, divorce filings compiled by the family law court in Sacramento County fell in 2008 compared to the previous year and are continuing to fall in the first few months of 2009.
One of the reasons for this may be the economy and the idea that it might be cheaper to stick with a messy marriage rather than foot the expense of splitting up. But perhaps even more daunting to those considering a divorce has been the loss of their retirement account or the equity in their home.
"We used to have enough equity in one house for people to set up the mom's house and the dad's house. One person would keep the house, and the other would keep the retirement," Carol Delzer, a Sacramento divorce lawyer told the paper. "Now there's no more equity, and there's less money in the 401(k)."
Although the number of divorces may be down in Sacramento, a little further south in Hollywood there are plenty of divorces to talk about. Recently Mel Gibson's wife Robyn Gibson filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage in what most say will be one of the most costly divorces in history.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Soldier’s cry for help
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Soldier’s cry for help
When Samuel Smith developed post-traumatic stress syndrome overseas, the Canadian Forces threw him out. Now he has rebuilt his life on his own
By IAN ELLIOT Kingston Whig-Standard KINGSTON, Ont.
WHEN SAMUEL SMITH was deployed to the former Yugoslavia in 1997, it marked the end of his military career, not the beginning of another chapter in it.
While serving on the peacekeeping mission, he developed sleeping disorders, nightmares about his infant daughter who died of a rare heart condition and a mysterious ailment that put him in a Sarajevo hospital for a month.
He was branded a malingerer within his unit and developed a cocaine habit after being medically returned to Canada in mid-tour. So haunted by what he had seen, Smith slept in his car and under bridges because he didn’t feel safe indoors.
He staged a suicide attempt to try to get the help that he knew he needed. He didn’t get it.
His once-promising army career ended with him being marched to the gates of CFB Petawawa by military police with his belongings in a garbage bag. He received one final order: "(Expletive) off and don’t come back."
These days, what Smith was suffering from is recognized as post-traumatic stress disorder. Smith has just won a lawsuit against the Canadian Forces, one of more than two dozen filed by a Quebec City lawyer who argued that the former soldiers were ignored, discriminated against and refused help for conditions they came down with while on active duty.
"Nobody wants to admit that they have PTSD — whether it’s shame or bravado, no one wants to admit that they have a mental disorder," said Smith during a recent interview in his Kingston home.
"All I wanted was for them to acknowledge what they did to mess up my life. I lost my career, I lost my marriage to divorce, I lost custody of my child — everything was taken away from me and I had to build it back up."
The terms of his settlement with the government are confidential, but Smith said the recognition that he was suffering from a medical disorder — and the government’s pledge to pay for further counselling if he requires it — means more to him than the small cash payout.
Since leaving the forces, Smith has undergone extensive psychological counselling and has rebuilt his life. He has regained partial custody of his young son, he is studying to go into the health-care field and he has been clean for years, but his tale is typical of others who served in the Balkans.
"Things were different back then," he said.
"We didn’t get any training. There was no place for us to turn. I don’t want to say I won this because that’s not how I feel. I just want to know that things are right and what’s supposed to be there is there for any other veterans who find themselves in my position."
His lawyer, Jacques Ferron, said the cases he is taking to court, including Smith’s, are an attempt to rectify a past wrong.
"These were peace tours, and they did not recognize PTSD, so the cases of these guys are different than the guys who are going to Afghanistan today," he said.
"They didn’t have the preparation before they left and they didn’t do anything when they came back, and while we suspect that they knew there were cases of PTSD, they didn’t do anything about it."
Following the high-profile case of Gen. Romeo Dallaire, who suffered from the syndrome after leading a mission in Rwanda, identification and treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder has taken on a higher profile in the army. Troops learn about it in basic training and they are screened for it, even when they are in theatre.
The Forces has also established special post-traumatic stress disorder clinics at bases around the country, although in a report last year interim ombudsman Mary McFadyen said while the military has taken steps to address the issue, more remains to be done.
"Investigators found and the office is aware of a number of individual cases where military members and/or their families were not treated fairly by the Canadian Forces or, for a variety of reasons, did not get access to the care and treatment that they so desperately needed," her report last December found.
"Injured soldiers, sailors, airmen and airwomen who have served their country with courage and dedication are slipping through the cracks of an ad hoc system."
She also noted post-traumatic stress disorder still has a stigma and people are reluctant to seek help in case it is seen as weakness.
Smith, whose father was a non-commissioned officer, joined the army right out of high school, looking for some structure in his life.
A driver with a service battalion, he worked in Ottawa for several chiefs of staff before being deployed to the former Yugoslavia in 1997.
He was not in combat, but driving through the ruined country, seeing amputee children and the effects of the nation’s civil war started taking a toll on him.
"It was hard," he recalled. "I’ve always been a family man and I was driving around seeing the destruction, seeing the kids with no arms and no legs, and I started dreaming about my daughter. I dreamed she was in a cooler somewhere there with bandages around her head, and I’d never had dreams like that before."
He developed nightmares, irritability, sleep disorders and, finally, a baffling medical condition that caused him to be hospitalized for a month as doctors speculated he had everything from tuberculosis to HIV. He dropped from 210 to 170 pounds during his hospitalization and when he was released from hospital — with a diagnosis of pneumonia — he returned to his unit only to find that he was seen as a slacker, or in military terms, an MIR commando, a disdainful term referring to soldiers who report to the medical inspection room with vague symptoms to get out of their duties.
"I didn’t understand what was happening," Smith said. "I was ashamed because I was being repatriated, and because I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me."
"I couldn’t understand how I could go from being a good soldier to someone who was seen as a disruptive influence on his unit."
The story he tells is a familiar one. The Bosnian conflict was seen as a peacekeeping exercise, and troops were expected to tough it out — the saying in the Forces was that a soldier would rather die than cry — and neither the troops nor the chain of command knew much about post-traumatic stress disorder, let alone how to deal with it.
The prevailing ethos was "suck it up or get out," and Smith remembers adopting that ethos.
Upon his return to his unit, he says his symptoms continued and he was increasingly ostracized by his superiors. What little psychological help he was offered was of no use.
"I’d go see them, and the only thing they wanted to know was if I was thinking of hurting myself, and I wasn’t."
"Of course, I was sleeping under a bridge in below-zero weather, so maybe I wasn’t trying to kill myself, but it might happen anyway."
He finally took a handful of pills and walked over to a friend’s shack to tell him what he had done in hopes that he would get help.
When he came to in hospital, he confessed to his drug use and the army put him into a rehab program, first insisting that he sign his own release papers in addition to the rest of the paperwork.
He completed the program and, when he returned to his unit, found himself medically discharged with a 5F classification — disgraceful discharge — and escorted off the base. He is still trying to get that classification changed to an honourable release.
Smith cleaned himself up. He spent months in in-patient psychological facilities — with pride, he said he did it himself — although he still feels the army let him down.
"When you’re in the army, they’re supposed to be like your mom and dad," he reflected. That was what his late father, the career man, drilled into him and it was one of the reasons he enlisted. It was also one of the reasons he kept going because he felt his father wouldn’t have wanted him to quit.
"They always tell you the army will take care of you, and they didn’t," he said. "I didn’t want my kids to think that I was some unstable guy who was just mad at the army. I just wanted what was right."
"You shouldn’t be ashamed or punished for saying you need some help, and I hope what I’ve been through helps someone else who needs it."
Smith says he’s just glad to be getting well again.
"It’s nice to hear my family say that they like to see me smile again and say, ‘It’s nice to have you back.’ "
‘All I wanted was for them to acknowledge what they did to mess up my life. I lost my career, I lost my marriage, I lost custody of my child — everything was taken away from me and I had to build it back up.’
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
When Samuel Smith developed post-traumatic stress syndrome overseas, the Canadian Forces threw him out. Now he has rebuilt his life on his own
By IAN ELLIOT Kingston Whig-Standard KINGSTON, Ont.
WHEN SAMUEL SMITH was deployed to the former Yugoslavia in 1997, it marked the end of his military career, not the beginning of another chapter in it.
While serving on the peacekeeping mission, he developed sleeping disorders, nightmares about his infant daughter who died of a rare heart condition and a mysterious ailment that put him in a Sarajevo hospital for a month.
He was branded a malingerer within his unit and developed a cocaine habit after being medically returned to Canada in mid-tour. So haunted by what he had seen, Smith slept in his car and under bridges because he didn’t feel safe indoors.
He staged a suicide attempt to try to get the help that he knew he needed. He didn’t get it.
His once-promising army career ended with him being marched to the gates of CFB Petawawa by military police with his belongings in a garbage bag. He received one final order: "(Expletive) off and don’t come back."
These days, what Smith was suffering from is recognized as post-traumatic stress disorder. Smith has just won a lawsuit against the Canadian Forces, one of more than two dozen filed by a Quebec City lawyer who argued that the former soldiers were ignored, discriminated against and refused help for conditions they came down with while on active duty.
"Nobody wants to admit that they have PTSD — whether it’s shame or bravado, no one wants to admit that they have a mental disorder," said Smith during a recent interview in his Kingston home.
"All I wanted was for them to acknowledge what they did to mess up my life. I lost my career, I lost my marriage to divorce, I lost custody of my child — everything was taken away from me and I had to build it back up."
The terms of his settlement with the government are confidential, but Smith said the recognition that he was suffering from a medical disorder — and the government’s pledge to pay for further counselling if he requires it — means more to him than the small cash payout.
Since leaving the forces, Smith has undergone extensive psychological counselling and has rebuilt his life. He has regained partial custody of his young son, he is studying to go into the health-care field and he has been clean for years, but his tale is typical of others who served in the Balkans.
"Things were different back then," he said.
"We didn’t get any training. There was no place for us to turn. I don’t want to say I won this because that’s not how I feel. I just want to know that things are right and what’s supposed to be there is there for any other veterans who find themselves in my position."
His lawyer, Jacques Ferron, said the cases he is taking to court, including Smith’s, are an attempt to rectify a past wrong.
"These were peace tours, and they did not recognize PTSD, so the cases of these guys are different than the guys who are going to Afghanistan today," he said.
"They didn’t have the preparation before they left and they didn’t do anything when they came back, and while we suspect that they knew there were cases of PTSD, they didn’t do anything about it."
Following the high-profile case of Gen. Romeo Dallaire, who suffered from the syndrome after leading a mission in Rwanda, identification and treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder has taken on a higher profile in the army. Troops learn about it in basic training and they are screened for it, even when they are in theatre.
The Forces has also established special post-traumatic stress disorder clinics at bases around the country, although in a report last year interim ombudsman Mary McFadyen said while the military has taken steps to address the issue, more remains to be done.
"Investigators found and the office is aware of a number of individual cases where military members and/or their families were not treated fairly by the Canadian Forces or, for a variety of reasons, did not get access to the care and treatment that they so desperately needed," her report last December found.
"Injured soldiers, sailors, airmen and airwomen who have served their country with courage and dedication are slipping through the cracks of an ad hoc system."
She also noted post-traumatic stress disorder still has a stigma and people are reluctant to seek help in case it is seen as weakness.
Smith, whose father was a non-commissioned officer, joined the army right out of high school, looking for some structure in his life.
A driver with a service battalion, he worked in Ottawa for several chiefs of staff before being deployed to the former Yugoslavia in 1997.
He was not in combat, but driving through the ruined country, seeing amputee children and the effects of the nation’s civil war started taking a toll on him.
"It was hard," he recalled. "I’ve always been a family man and I was driving around seeing the destruction, seeing the kids with no arms and no legs, and I started dreaming about my daughter. I dreamed she was in a cooler somewhere there with bandages around her head, and I’d never had dreams like that before."
He developed nightmares, irritability, sleep disorders and, finally, a baffling medical condition that caused him to be hospitalized for a month as doctors speculated he had everything from tuberculosis to HIV. He dropped from 210 to 170 pounds during his hospitalization and when he was released from hospital — with a diagnosis of pneumonia — he returned to his unit only to find that he was seen as a slacker, or in military terms, an MIR commando, a disdainful term referring to soldiers who report to the medical inspection room with vague symptoms to get out of their duties.
"I didn’t understand what was happening," Smith said. "I was ashamed because I was being repatriated, and because I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me."
"I couldn’t understand how I could go from being a good soldier to someone who was seen as a disruptive influence on his unit."
The story he tells is a familiar one. The Bosnian conflict was seen as a peacekeeping exercise, and troops were expected to tough it out — the saying in the Forces was that a soldier would rather die than cry — and neither the troops nor the chain of command knew much about post-traumatic stress disorder, let alone how to deal with it.
The prevailing ethos was "suck it up or get out," and Smith remembers adopting that ethos.
Upon his return to his unit, he says his symptoms continued and he was increasingly ostracized by his superiors. What little psychological help he was offered was of no use.
"I’d go see them, and the only thing they wanted to know was if I was thinking of hurting myself, and I wasn’t."
"Of course, I was sleeping under a bridge in below-zero weather, so maybe I wasn’t trying to kill myself, but it might happen anyway."
He finally took a handful of pills and walked over to a friend’s shack to tell him what he had done in hopes that he would get help.
When he came to in hospital, he confessed to his drug use and the army put him into a rehab program, first insisting that he sign his own release papers in addition to the rest of the paperwork.
He completed the program and, when he returned to his unit, found himself medically discharged with a 5F classification — disgraceful discharge — and escorted off the base. He is still trying to get that classification changed to an honourable release.
Smith cleaned himself up. He spent months in in-patient psychological facilities — with pride, he said he did it himself — although he still feels the army let him down.
"When you’re in the army, they’re supposed to be like your mom and dad," he reflected. That was what his late father, the career man, drilled into him and it was one of the reasons he enlisted. It was also one of the reasons he kept going because he felt his father wouldn’t have wanted him to quit.
"They always tell you the army will take care of you, and they didn’t," he said. "I didn’t want my kids to think that I was some unstable guy who was just mad at the army. I just wanted what was right."
"You shouldn’t be ashamed or punished for saying you need some help, and I hope what I’ve been through helps someone else who needs it."
Smith says he’s just glad to be getting well again.
"It’s nice to hear my family say that they like to see me smile again and say, ‘It’s nice to have you back.’ "
‘All I wanted was for them to acknowledge what they did to mess up my life. I lost my career, I lost my marriage, I lost custody of my child — everything was taken away from me and I had to build it back up.’
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Divorce cakes help sweeten and conclude a marriage
Augusta Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Divorce cakes help sweeten and conclude a marriage
By Cindy Kent - Sun Sentinel
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — On a typical Saturday, Elite Cake Creations delivers 18 wedding cakes from Miami to Palm Beach, Fla. But it recently added a novelty to its traditional line: divorce cakes.
No milestone should go unnoticed — even divorces, said Beatriz Otero, who co-owns the Pembroke Pines, Fla., bakery with her brother, Jorge Garcia.
Divorce cakes look and taste like wedding cakes, but the cake-top depicts scenes of domestic discord, not bliss. Among them a heart-shaped cake broken in pieces features a groom standing on one piece, the bride on another; . a man sits dejected on a curb and . a cemetery of broken marriages is marked by tiny tombstones, an open casket bears a ring.
It's about looking at life with a wider lens, said Otero.
Recently divorced Tony Farina of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., had purchased cakes from Elite before. On a recent visit, he was in the market for closure. He's getting a cake for himself and two friends also recently divorced. They'll get all their buddies together and — eat cake.
Farina perused the mini-dramas played out atop a carpet of chiffon icing and fluff, but left the final choice to the shop.
"I completely trust Beatriz," Farina said about picking out a divorce-themed cake. "She'll come up with something we like, she always does."
To debut the divorce cakes, Otero created a sidewalk reception and trade show in front of her shop. She spent about $1,500 for marketing materials, invitations and fliers, samples and displays.
She invited people she knew were divorced — some had even purchased wedding cakes from her. Party planners brought clients. A linen supplier, DJ and photographer came.
Wedding cakes lined the walk. Another newly launched product: Cake Bites, were displayed.
But the spotlight was on the crushed dreams of brides and grooms.
The 2002 U.S. Census Bureau reported about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce nationwide. Though that figure has remained fairly steady, there has been a drop off.
Stenovia Curry of Enchantment Event Planning Inc. in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., has planned about eight divorce parties since she opened her business five years ago. But until she met Otero at a bridal show recently, she ordered generic cakes. Partnering with Otero, she anticipates an increase in business. "It's very hard to find a flexible baker," said Curry. Typically, bakers have books of pre-designed cakes for clients to view, she said.
Elite's premium cakes that serve 100 guests begin at about $350.
Not everyone is ready to celebrate their divorce right away — if ever, said Otero.
Healing from her own divorce about five years ago was a long, painful process, Otero said. "In no way are we encouraging or being flippant about a serious situation," she said. "On the other hand, when people looking for closure are ready to move on, we can help them celebrate that."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Cindy Kent - Sun Sentinel
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — On a typical Saturday, Elite Cake Creations delivers 18 wedding cakes from Miami to Palm Beach, Fla. But it recently added a novelty to its traditional line: divorce cakes.
No milestone should go unnoticed — even divorces, said Beatriz Otero, who co-owns the Pembroke Pines, Fla., bakery with her brother, Jorge Garcia.
Divorce cakes look and taste like wedding cakes, but the cake-top depicts scenes of domestic discord, not bliss. Among them a heart-shaped cake broken in pieces features a groom standing on one piece, the bride on another; . a man sits dejected on a curb and . a cemetery of broken marriages is marked by tiny tombstones, an open casket bears a ring.
It's about looking at life with a wider lens, said Otero.
Recently divorced Tony Farina of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., had purchased cakes from Elite before. On a recent visit, he was in the market for closure. He's getting a cake for himself and two friends also recently divorced. They'll get all their buddies together and — eat cake.
Farina perused the mini-dramas played out atop a carpet of chiffon icing and fluff, but left the final choice to the shop.
"I completely trust Beatriz," Farina said about picking out a divorce-themed cake. "She'll come up with something we like, she always does."
To debut the divorce cakes, Otero created a sidewalk reception and trade show in front of her shop. She spent about $1,500 for marketing materials, invitations and fliers, samples and displays.
She invited people she knew were divorced — some had even purchased wedding cakes from her. Party planners brought clients. A linen supplier, DJ and photographer came.
Wedding cakes lined the walk. Another newly launched product: Cake Bites, were displayed.
But the spotlight was on the crushed dreams of brides and grooms.
The 2002 U.S. Census Bureau reported about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce nationwide. Though that figure has remained fairly steady, there has been a drop off.
Stenovia Curry of Enchantment Event Planning Inc. in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., has planned about eight divorce parties since she opened her business five years ago. But until she met Otero at a bridal show recently, she ordered generic cakes. Partnering with Otero, she anticipates an increase in business. "It's very hard to find a flexible baker," said Curry. Typically, bakers have books of pre-designed cakes for clients to view, she said.
Elite's premium cakes that serve 100 guests begin at about $350.
Not everyone is ready to celebrate their divorce right away — if ever, said Otero.
Healing from her own divorce about five years ago was a long, painful process, Otero said. "In no way are we encouraging or being flippant about a serious situation," she said. "On the other hand, when people looking for closure are ready to move on, we can help them celebrate that."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Mel Gibson hits the red carpet with girlfriend
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Mel Gibson hits the red carpet with girlfriend
Two weeks after filing for divorce,
More than two weeks after his wife filed for divorce, a smiling Mel Gibson made a rare public appearance with his girlfriend Tuesday night at the L.A. industry screening of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."
"Mel has been single for almost three years and it's nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself," his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
The actor, 53, dressed in a black suit with a dark gray shirt, stepped out with Oksana Grigorieva, a 39-year-old Russian signer signed to his record label, Icon Records. The couple held hands as they walked the carpet before taking a seat at the screening at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood.
"They came in quietly and as under-the-radar as they could and they were pretty low-key," says a source. "Mel seemed very comfortable."
According to the source, Gibson attended the screening at the invitation of Fox chairman James Gianopoulos and "Wolverine" producers Richard and Lauren Donner and fellow Aussie Hugh Jackman, who told the audience that he got inspiration for his character from Gibson's role as Mad Max.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Two weeks after filing for divorce,
More than two weeks after his wife filed for divorce, a smiling Mel Gibson made a rare public appearance with his girlfriend Tuesday night at the L.A. industry screening of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."
"Mel has been single for almost three years and it's nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself," his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
The actor, 53, dressed in a black suit with a dark gray shirt, stepped out with Oksana Grigorieva, a 39-year-old Russian signer signed to his record label, Icon Records. The couple held hands as they walked the carpet before taking a seat at the screening at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood.
"They came in quietly and as under-the-radar as they could and they were pretty low-key," says a source. "Mel seemed very comfortable."
According to the source, Gibson attended the screening at the invitation of Fox chairman James Gianopoulos and "Wolverine" producers Richard and Lauren Donner and fellow Aussie Hugh Jackman, who told the audience that he got inspiration for his character from Gibson's role as Mad Max.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Lawyer - Is Divorce Deadly?
Augusta Military Divorce Lawyer - Is Divorce Deadly?
So many people have been killed in family massacres this week ... here are the warning signs to look out for.
There have been so many horrific family massacres this week. First in Colorado, a man murdered his ex-wife, then killed himself with a shotgun blast. In Texas, a man shot his estranged wife then himself on an Army base. In Washington, a man whose wife was leaving him shot and killed five of his children in their mobile home before taking his own life. And in Alabama, a man sought in the killings of his estranged wife and three others was found dead Tuesday.
These killings are just the latest in a long line of similar incidents. Last month, a gunman barged into a nursing home in Carthage, N.C., looking for his estranged wife. Police say he killed seven elderly residents and a nurse who cared for them.
Last Christmas Eve, Bruce Pardo dressed like Santa Claus and barged into the house of his ex-wife's parents. He shot and killed his ex along with eight of her family members.
Tragedies like this make us wonder: Can divorce be deadly?
"It's unlikely a woman would marry a man she believed to be dangerous," says Jane Greer, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in New York City. "In the beginning of a relationship, it's easy to ignore the warning signs of abuse and focus on the positive aspects of a person. After all, you're on a romantic hormonal high so everything he does seems wonderful."
What's more, people are not just two-dimensional. We all occasionally act in ways we're ashamed of, and nobody is perfect. And sometimes relationships go through rough patches and it can be difficult to gauge between someone behaving poorly and legitimate abuse. However, Dr. Greer says to be aware of specific signs a person is capable of hurting you.
If your spouse or ex exhibits any of these behaviors, seek help immediately:
• Explosive anger or violence (i.e.: throws objects, is physically aggressive)
• Blocks exits or hides car keys to prevent leaving
• Isolates you from family and friends or otherwise limits your contact with the outside world
• Emotional abuse (name calling, ridicule, frequent criticism)
• Disregards your feelings and has a complete focus on their own needs
"The problem is, for many women, abuse is an ongoing cycle, and even if they acknowledge what's going on, they may feel it's their fault -- especially if the aggressor has worked hard to make it seem that way," says Greer. "And because the woman thinks his behavior is her responsibility to fix, she won't take proper safety precautions."
And oddly enough, many times controlling behavior can feel like love. For instance, if your spouse complains when you spend time with your friends and family, at first it may seem flattering ("He wants me all to himself!"). However, Greer says this is a sign he wants to remove your support system so you have no one to turn to -- except for him.
If you see these warning signs, Greer says to disengage from the relationship right away. "Leave with your children, then call to let him know you won't be returning and clearly -- but briefly -- tell him why," she says. "Don't confront him in person -- otherwise, he'll likely try to stop you."
If you fear he'll track down your family, don't stay with them, but make sure loved ones know where you are and have ways to reach you.
But sometimes, there really are no warning signs. And that's the most tragic part of all.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
So many people have been killed in family massacres this week ... here are the warning signs to look out for.
There have been so many horrific family massacres this week. First in Colorado, a man murdered his ex-wife, then killed himself with a shotgun blast. In Texas, a man shot his estranged wife then himself on an Army base. In Washington, a man whose wife was leaving him shot and killed five of his children in their mobile home before taking his own life. And in Alabama, a man sought in the killings of his estranged wife and three others was found dead Tuesday.
These killings are just the latest in a long line of similar incidents. Last month, a gunman barged into a nursing home in Carthage, N.C., looking for his estranged wife. Police say he killed seven elderly residents and a nurse who cared for them.
Last Christmas Eve, Bruce Pardo dressed like Santa Claus and barged into the house of his ex-wife's parents. He shot and killed his ex along with eight of her family members.
Tragedies like this make us wonder: Can divorce be deadly?
"It's unlikely a woman would marry a man she believed to be dangerous," says Jane Greer, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in New York City. "In the beginning of a relationship, it's easy to ignore the warning signs of abuse and focus on the positive aspects of a person. After all, you're on a romantic hormonal high so everything he does seems wonderful."
What's more, people are not just two-dimensional. We all occasionally act in ways we're ashamed of, and nobody is perfect. And sometimes relationships go through rough patches and it can be difficult to gauge between someone behaving poorly and legitimate abuse. However, Dr. Greer says to be aware of specific signs a person is capable of hurting you.
If your spouse or ex exhibits any of these behaviors, seek help immediately:
• Explosive anger or violence (i.e.: throws objects, is physically aggressive)
• Blocks exits or hides car keys to prevent leaving
• Isolates you from family and friends or otherwise limits your contact with the outside world
• Emotional abuse (name calling, ridicule, frequent criticism)
• Disregards your feelings and has a complete focus on their own needs
"The problem is, for many women, abuse is an ongoing cycle, and even if they acknowledge what's going on, they may feel it's their fault -- especially if the aggressor has worked hard to make it seem that way," says Greer. "And because the woman thinks his behavior is her responsibility to fix, she won't take proper safety precautions."
And oddly enough, many times controlling behavior can feel like love. For instance, if your spouse complains when you spend time with your friends and family, at first it may seem flattering ("He wants me all to himself!"). However, Greer says this is a sign he wants to remove your support system so you have no one to turn to -- except for him.
If you see these warning signs, Greer says to disengage from the relationship right away. "Leave with your children, then call to let him know you won't be returning and clearly -- but briefly -- tell him why," she says. "Don't confront him in person -- otherwise, he'll likely try to stop you."
If you fear he'll track down your family, don't stay with them, but make sure loved ones know where you are and have ways to reach you.
But sometimes, there really are no warning signs. And that's the most tragic part of all.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Attempted murder charge awaits Army major accused of targeting wife
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Attempted murder charge awaits Army major accused of targeting wife
By Shane Hoover
CANTON — An Army major accused of threatening his estranged wife now faces a charge that he planned to kill her.
A Stark County grand jury has indicted Phillip L. Jose, 46, of El Paso, Texas, with attempted aggravated murder, violating a protection order, menacing by stalking and possessing criminal tools.
If he is convicted, the attempted aggravated murder charge alone can bring up to 10 years in prison.
He remains in jail and will be arraigned Friday in Stark County Common Pleas Court.
Acting with prior calculation and design, Jose attempted to kill his wife on April 5, according to the indictment. North Canton police found him parked near her home on Woodrow Street NW.
Jose didn’t make contact with his wife. Earlier that day, she told police that he was trying to find her, and she already had moved from her residence, police have said.
A court order barred Jose from contacting her. Additionally, she contacted North Canton police in November, February and March alleging he had threatened her.
Jose’s wife filed for divorce in May in Summit County. The case is pending.
After arresting Jose on warrants out of Twinsburg, police collected as evidence two knives, plastic zip ties, a large roll of duct tape and several tools, including a pry bar, a hammer, bolt cutters and a sledge hammer, according to a police report.
Jose told police he had come to see his children, but police said a court order barred him from doing that.
Police initially charged Jose with felony menacing by stalking and violating a protection order, a misdemeanor.
The attempted aggravated murder and criminal tools charges were added, and the protection order violation upgraded to a felony, during the grand jury process.
Assistant Stark County Prosecutor Jennifer Dave said she couldn’t discuss details of the case, including the evidence behind the new charges, while the case is pending.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Shane Hoover
CANTON — An Army major accused of threatening his estranged wife now faces a charge that he planned to kill her.
A Stark County grand jury has indicted Phillip L. Jose, 46, of El Paso, Texas, with attempted aggravated murder, violating a protection order, menacing by stalking and possessing criminal tools.
If he is convicted, the attempted aggravated murder charge alone can bring up to 10 years in prison.
He remains in jail and will be arraigned Friday in Stark County Common Pleas Court.
Acting with prior calculation and design, Jose attempted to kill his wife on April 5, according to the indictment. North Canton police found him parked near her home on Woodrow Street NW.
Jose didn’t make contact with his wife. Earlier that day, she told police that he was trying to find her, and she already had moved from her residence, police have said.
A court order barred Jose from contacting her. Additionally, she contacted North Canton police in November, February and March alleging he had threatened her.
Jose’s wife filed for divorce in May in Summit County. The case is pending.
After arresting Jose on warrants out of Twinsburg, police collected as evidence two knives, plastic zip ties, a large roll of duct tape and several tools, including a pry bar, a hammer, bolt cutters and a sledge hammer, according to a police report.
Jose told police he had come to see his children, but police said a court order barred him from doing that.
Police initially charged Jose with felony menacing by stalking and violating a protection order, a misdemeanor.
The attempted aggravated murder and criminal tools charges were added, and the protection order violation upgraded to a felony, during the grand jury process.
Assistant Stark County Prosecutor Jennifer Dave said she couldn’t discuss details of the case, including the evidence behind the new charges, while the case is pending.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Army officer faces charges in Ohio
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Army officer faces charges in Ohio
EL PASO, (El Paso Times - McClatchy-Tribune)- An Army Reserve major from El Paso is accused of driving from Texas to Ohio, stalking his estranged wife and devising a plot to kill her, an Ohio police chief said Tuesday.
After receiving a tip that the major was in violation of a protective order, police on April 5 found him in his 2000 silver Volvo outside his wife's home. In the car, police said, were a sledgehammer, two knives, duct tape, zip ties and a pry bar.
"It's a little unusual," North Canton Police Chief Mike Grimes said. "We think he did travel from Texas to Ohio and tried to do harm to his family."
Police said Phillip L. Jose, of Ascarate Street in South-Central El Paso, was found outside his estranged wife's new home in North Canton, allegedly in violation of a protective order filed in the couple's pending divorce case. North Canton is about 20 miles south of Akron.
A grand jury indicted 46-year-old Jose last week on charges of attempted aggravated murder, violating a protection order, menacing by stalking, and possessing criminal tools. He is a major in the 647th Regional Support Group, a reserve unit based in El Paso, North Canton police said.
Officials with the Army Reserve in El Paso confirmed Tuesday that Jose's unit is based in El Paso. But they would not say whether Jose belonged to the unit.
Ohio court records indicate that Jose's wife, Becky J. Jose, filed for divorce in May. Also in May, foreclosure proceedings began on a home they own in Twinsburg, Ohio.
The couple, who
have four children, most recently became embroiled in a dispute about the ownership of a 2000 Toyota Sienna.
The car, which is jointly owned and driven by her, was declared a total loss after an accident. Phillip Jose refused to sign the insurance claim and accused her of "simply trying to collect all the available insurance money," court documents indicate.
A judge in the divorce case ordered a mutual restraining order, which prohibited either of them from threatening, abusing, annoying or interfering with each other.
In a separate bankruptcy case, Phillip Jose and his wife had been ordered by a judge in Ohio to make payments to creditors after filing for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in 2002. The couple owed more than $450,000.
Phillip Jose on Tuesday remained at the Stark County jail in Ohio in lieu of $100,000 bond. He is scheduled for arraignment Friday.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
EL PASO, (El Paso Times - McClatchy-Tribune)- An Army Reserve major from El Paso is accused of driving from Texas to Ohio, stalking his estranged wife and devising a plot to kill her, an Ohio police chief said Tuesday.
After receiving a tip that the major was in violation of a protective order, police on April 5 found him in his 2000 silver Volvo outside his wife's home. In the car, police said, were a sledgehammer, two knives, duct tape, zip ties and a pry bar.
"It's a little unusual," North Canton Police Chief Mike Grimes said. "We think he did travel from Texas to Ohio and tried to do harm to his family."
Police said Phillip L. Jose, of Ascarate Street in South-Central El Paso, was found outside his estranged wife's new home in North Canton, allegedly in violation of a protective order filed in the couple's pending divorce case. North Canton is about 20 miles south of Akron.
A grand jury indicted 46-year-old Jose last week on charges of attempted aggravated murder, violating a protection order, menacing by stalking, and possessing criminal tools. He is a major in the 647th Regional Support Group, a reserve unit based in El Paso, North Canton police said.
Officials with the Army Reserve in El Paso confirmed Tuesday that Jose's unit is based in El Paso. But they would not say whether Jose belonged to the unit.
Ohio court records indicate that Jose's wife, Becky J. Jose, filed for divorce in May. Also in May, foreclosure proceedings began on a home they own in Twinsburg, Ohio.
The couple, who
have four children, most recently became embroiled in a dispute about the ownership of a 2000 Toyota Sienna.
The car, which is jointly owned and driven by her, was declared a total loss after an accident. Phillip Jose refused to sign the insurance claim and accused her of "simply trying to collect all the available insurance money," court documents indicate.
A judge in the divorce case ordered a mutual restraining order, which prohibited either of them from threatening, abusing, annoying or interfering with each other.
In a separate bankruptcy case, Phillip Jose and his wife had been ordered by a judge in Ohio to make payments to creditors after filing for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in 2002. The couple owed more than $450,000.
Phillip Jose on Tuesday remained at the Stark County jail in Ohio in lieu of $100,000 bond. He is scheduled for arraignment Friday.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Studies: Americans Ambivalent About Divorce, Less Likely to have one in MLB City
Augusta Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Studies: Americans Ambivalent About Divorce, Less Likely to have one in MLB City
Monday, April 27, 2009 at 04:19 PM
Although it would appear that divorce rates have been on the upswing for a number of decades, a new study finds that Americans' attitudes toward divorce have grown to ambivalence rather than acceptance.
The findings, which appears in the Journal of Marriage and Family, finds that critical depictions of divorce were less common in the 20th century, but they were not necessarily replaced with more positive ones.
Instead, the study finds, the debate on if divorce was good or bad seemed to disappear, showing a more ambivalent attitude among Americans.
Another recent study has found that living in a city with a Major League Baseball team may reduce the chances of getting a divorce.
According to a report from BusinessWeek, research from the University of Denver found that cities with baseball teams had a 28 percent lower divorce rate than those who wanted a team.
Howard Markman, director of the school's Center for Marital and Family Studies told the magazine that one of the theories behind the divorce rate change is the fun of watching a ballgame.
"Going to a baseball game and not talking about relationship issues, but rather having fun and talking as friends is one of the ways to protect and preserve love," Markman told the news provider.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Monday, April 27, 2009 at 04:19 PM
Although it would appear that divorce rates have been on the upswing for a number of decades, a new study finds that Americans' attitudes toward divorce have grown to ambivalence rather than acceptance.
The findings, which appears in the Journal of Marriage and Family, finds that critical depictions of divorce were less common in the 20th century, but they were not necessarily replaced with more positive ones.
Instead, the study finds, the debate on if divorce was good or bad seemed to disappear, showing a more ambivalent attitude among Americans.
Another recent study has found that living in a city with a Major League Baseball team may reduce the chances of getting a divorce.
According to a report from BusinessWeek, research from the University of Denver found that cities with baseball teams had a 28 percent lower divorce rate than those who wanted a team.
Howard Markman, director of the school's Center for Marital and Family Studies told the magazine that one of the theories behind the divorce rate change is the fun of watching a ballgame.
"Going to a baseball game and not talking about relationship issues, but rather having fun and talking as friends is one of the ways to protect and preserve love," Markman told the news provider.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Kate Walsh's Divorce Runs Into a Housing Crisis
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Kate Walsh's Divorce Runs Into a Housing Crisis
by Celebuzz
Not that Kate Walsh's divorce from film exec Alex Young was a garden of roses to begin with, but it just got even more unpleasant.
TMZ reports that Young is dragging out the proceedings by filing papers on Friday contesting the reports of an accounting firm hired by the couple to determine the worth of their joint assets so they can be divvied up.
Young has allegedly been pestering the company so much that the firm, London & Co., filed papers last month asking a judge to grant a protective order to get Young off their back.
Young claims that London & Co. has refused to provide him with a full accounting of a multi-million home that the two bought in 2007, a month before they got married, and presumably believes that they're concealing potential profits from him.
The accounting firm counters that it has provided Young with all necessary paperwork, but that he refuses to relent in his belief that they're holding something back.
Maybe Young doesn't realize that the housing market has taken a serious blow since they bought the house, leading to a decrease in its value?
In the meantime, Walsh is trying to bring the proceedings to as speedy a resolution as possible. OK! Magazine reports that the Private Practice actress' attorney, Laura Wasser, has requested a trial date for their divorce, which would force the estranged couple to either sort things out on their own or let a judge handle if for them.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
by Celebuzz
Not that Kate Walsh's divorce from film exec Alex Young was a garden of roses to begin with, but it just got even more unpleasant.
TMZ reports that Young is dragging out the proceedings by filing papers on Friday contesting the reports of an accounting firm hired by the couple to determine the worth of their joint assets so they can be divvied up.
Young has allegedly been pestering the company so much that the firm, London & Co., filed papers last month asking a judge to grant a protective order to get Young off their back.
Young claims that London & Co. has refused to provide him with a full accounting of a multi-million home that the two bought in 2007, a month before they got married, and presumably believes that they're concealing potential profits from him.
The accounting firm counters that it has provided Young with all necessary paperwork, but that he refuses to relent in his belief that they're holding something back.
Maybe Young doesn't realize that the housing market has taken a serious blow since they bought the house, leading to a decrease in its value?
In the meantime, Walsh is trying to bring the proceedings to as speedy a resolution as possible. OK! Magazine reports that the Private Practice actress' attorney, Laura Wasser, has requested a trial date for their divorce, which would force the estranged couple to either sort things out on their own or let a judge handle if for them.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - DIVIDING DEBTS IN DIVORCE
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - DIVIDING DEBTS IN DIVORCE
By Kathy Kristof - Tribune Media Services
Couples in the process of divorce spend a lot of time divvying up their assets. But in today's miserable economy, experts maintain that soon-to-be-exes should take even greater care dividing up the debts.
Otherwise, your former spouse's job loss could end up hitting your balance sheet — and credit report — years after you think the divorce is settled.
"This is one of the more difficult things to do, and people often forget about it," said John Ulzheimer, director of consumer education at Credit.com. "But if you don't do it, or don't do it right, it cannot only cost you money, it can cost you your credit rating for a long period of time."
Unfortunately, even people who think they are dividing debt often aren't dividing it legally — despite approval from a divorce court, experts say.
Couples often think they can assign repayment of debts in the process of a divorce — e.g., you repay the Visa; I'll take the AmEx — said D. Michael Bush, a Newport Beach-based lawyer. But unless they got the creditor's approval — in addition to the court's — the assignment is not legally enforceable, he said.
"There has to be an upfront agreement that includes the lender, or the lender can go where the money is — it doesn't matter what you did in court," Bush said.
So how do you properly divide debt?
First, order credit reports.
Everybody has the right to one free credit report every year from each of the three major credit bureaus. Now is the time to request one at www.annual creditreport.com. On the report, you'll see that each credit listing shows the status of your account, when opened, when closed (if applicable) and whether the responsibility is individual or joint. These reports also show your payment history with each debt, the addresses your creditors have on record, and the names under which you have received credit.
Under normal circumstances, it's wise to check your report once annually for errors and signs of identity theft, such as new addresses and new credit that you didn't secure. In a divorce, you need the credit report because you're likely to find old accounts you'd forgotten about that have never been properly canceled, said Bill Hardekopf, chief executive of LowCards.com.
Next, cancel joint credit cards.
If both you and your ex are authorized users on credit card accounts, those cards should be canceled. If the cards have revolving balances, you must pay off the balances with other assets or transfer the debt to cards that are newly issued in just one name.
Why is that so important? A jointly held card is reported on the credit reports of both you and your ex-spouse. If your ex fails to pay bills on time, the damage ruins your credit too.
Worse, said Hardekopf, is that you are jointly and separately liable for any balance on that card. The divorce court does not have jurisdiction over existing contracts with your credit card companies. So even if the court says your ex is supposed to pay that bill, the creditor can come after you to collect. If an account is left open, your ex can add more debt and leave you holding the bag.
Not fair? True. But if you don't cancel the cards upfront, you'll be left to argue about it, possibly in court (again) later.
It's also important to check student loans.
Many student loans are issued in just one name and payable by just one person. But if you incurred private student debts while married — or if you cosigned on your spouse's loan — they may be joint obligations. Traditional student debt is low-cost and flexible and generally the last debt you want to pay off. However, you might want to pay off or refinance any private student debt to clarify repayment obligations after the divorce.
Auto and home loans also become an issue in divorce.
You don't necessarily want to refinance a home loan if you have a good rate, and you might not be able to refinance a used automobile. If you have these debts, you may want to try to modify them with your lender.
Typically, this requires the lender to look at your new, single financial statements and determine whether you can afford the payments on whatever income you'll maintain, whether that's from work or spousal support.
Another thing that can have enormous effect in a divorce is if one spouse files for bankruptcy protection.
Gary Leibowitz, a Los Alamitos bankruptcy attorney, says he's increasingly getting referrals from divorce lawyers who realize that their clients have more debts than assets. In these cases, it's often necessary to file for bankruptcy in conjunction with the divorce, he said.
And Leibowitz maintains that if one spouse is in bankruptcy, it would be foolish not to have the other look closely at filing too. The reason: all those joint debts.
"Any debt that was incurred during the marriage is joint debt," he said. "You could have divided up $100,000 in debt and then one spouse files bankruptcy and gets their $50,000 discharged.
"That leaves the other spouse with the whole obligation because that debt was never really divided. The (divorce) court doesn't have the jurisdiction."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Kathy Kristof - Tribune Media Services
Couples in the process of divorce spend a lot of time divvying up their assets. But in today's miserable economy, experts maintain that soon-to-be-exes should take even greater care dividing up the debts.
Otherwise, your former spouse's job loss could end up hitting your balance sheet — and credit report — years after you think the divorce is settled.
"This is one of the more difficult things to do, and people often forget about it," said John Ulzheimer, director of consumer education at Credit.com. "But if you don't do it, or don't do it right, it cannot only cost you money, it can cost you your credit rating for a long period of time."
Unfortunately, even people who think they are dividing debt often aren't dividing it legally — despite approval from a divorce court, experts say.
Couples often think they can assign repayment of debts in the process of a divorce — e.g., you repay the Visa; I'll take the AmEx — said D. Michael Bush, a Newport Beach-based lawyer. But unless they got the creditor's approval — in addition to the court's — the assignment is not legally enforceable, he said.
"There has to be an upfront agreement that includes the lender, or the lender can go where the money is — it doesn't matter what you did in court," Bush said.
So how do you properly divide debt?
First, order credit reports.
Everybody has the right to one free credit report every year from each of the three major credit bureaus. Now is the time to request one at www.annual creditreport.com. On the report, you'll see that each credit listing shows the status of your account, when opened, when closed (if applicable) and whether the responsibility is individual or joint. These reports also show your payment history with each debt, the addresses your creditors have on record, and the names under which you have received credit.
Under normal circumstances, it's wise to check your report once annually for errors and signs of identity theft, such as new addresses and new credit that you didn't secure. In a divorce, you need the credit report because you're likely to find old accounts you'd forgotten about that have never been properly canceled, said Bill Hardekopf, chief executive of LowCards.com.
Next, cancel joint credit cards.
If both you and your ex are authorized users on credit card accounts, those cards should be canceled. If the cards have revolving balances, you must pay off the balances with other assets or transfer the debt to cards that are newly issued in just one name.
Why is that so important? A jointly held card is reported on the credit reports of both you and your ex-spouse. If your ex fails to pay bills on time, the damage ruins your credit too.
Worse, said Hardekopf, is that you are jointly and separately liable for any balance on that card. The divorce court does not have jurisdiction over existing contracts with your credit card companies. So even if the court says your ex is supposed to pay that bill, the creditor can come after you to collect. If an account is left open, your ex can add more debt and leave you holding the bag.
Not fair? True. But if you don't cancel the cards upfront, you'll be left to argue about it, possibly in court (again) later.
It's also important to check student loans.
Many student loans are issued in just one name and payable by just one person. But if you incurred private student debts while married — or if you cosigned on your spouse's loan — they may be joint obligations. Traditional student debt is low-cost and flexible and generally the last debt you want to pay off. However, you might want to pay off or refinance any private student debt to clarify repayment obligations after the divorce.
Auto and home loans also become an issue in divorce.
You don't necessarily want to refinance a home loan if you have a good rate, and you might not be able to refinance a used automobile. If you have these debts, you may want to try to modify them with your lender.
Typically, this requires the lender to look at your new, single financial statements and determine whether you can afford the payments on whatever income you'll maintain, whether that's from work or spousal support.
Another thing that can have enormous effect in a divorce is if one spouse files for bankruptcy protection.
Gary Leibowitz, a Los Alamitos bankruptcy attorney, says he's increasingly getting referrals from divorce lawyers who realize that their clients have more debts than assets. In these cases, it's often necessary to file for bankruptcy in conjunction with the divorce, he said.
And Leibowitz maintains that if one spouse is in bankruptcy, it would be foolish not to have the other look closely at filing too. The reason: all those joint debts.
"Any debt that was incurred during the marriage is joint debt," he said. "You could have divided up $100,000 in debt and then one spouse files bankruptcy and gets their $50,000 discharged.
"That leaves the other spouse with the whole obligation because that debt was never really divided. The (divorce) court doesn't have the jurisdiction."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Second chance for hometown hero
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Second chance for hometown hero
By LISA FALKENBERG - Houston Chronicle
SPRING — Just after Independence Day in 2007, Marty Gonzalez’s picture was on the front page of the Houston Chronicle under the headline “Hometown Hero” for his valor as a Marine, his three Purple Heart medals and his Bronze Star for saving American lives in Fallujah.
Not two years later, the Marine from Spring was standing in the criminal courtroom of Judge Marc Carter, charged with felony DWI with a child passenger.
At first, the judge knew nothing of Gonzalez’s story. He didn’t know that a purple scar snaking past his right elbow was the result of nine surgeries after two bullets from an insurgent’s AK-47 tore into him as he cleared houses during the second siege of Fallujah.
Or, that, in just one day in November 2004, Gonzalez had charged up a stairwell infested with insurgents, braving a hail of small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fire, not once, but 11 times, while wounded, to help a Marine escape, recover the bodies of comrades and kill several insurgents threatening other squad members.
Or, that, since Gonzalez returned from Iraq, he’d been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. That the pain wouldn’t stop. The anger helped destroy his marriage. The nightmares of buddies dying wouldn’t let him sleep.
Carter knew only that the wiry, 28-year-old before him had risked the life of his 3-year-old son when he drove his truck impaired late one night, falling asleep at the wheel and plowing into a house in Tomball. Luckily, no one was home, and Gonzalez’s son, Adryan, was strapped in his car seat and escaped injury.
In an interview last week, Gonzalez told me he had taken too many pain pills that night “just trying to relax.” His divorce had just become final; he’d gotten custody of his son. A buddy tried to grab his car keys, but Gonzalez insisted on driving.
“Here I was,” he said, “going from a good guy to a felon in one night of stupidity.”
But then the prosecutor, Terrance Windham, a felony division chief, did something prosecutors rarely do. He granted Gonzalez’s request for a pre-trial diversion, an option that would send him to rehab instead of prison.
Two fellow veterans
Once Carter learned Gonzalez’s story, he agreed that the young man with the heroic record and no previous trouble with the law deserved a second chance. Gonzalez certainly had a bit of luck, or fate, on his side. Not only was Windham a veteran, but so was the judge. Carter is a former Army captain and his father was a career Army officer who served in Vietnam.
Carter, 49, a Republican appointed by Gov. Rick Perry in 2003, has made it his personal mission to look out for veterans. About two years ago, he worked with Harris County’s pre-trial services office to flag veterans when they’re arrested and notify the VA hospital.
In March alone, the system logged 350 arrests of veterans, some of whom may have been arrested more than once.
Carter said his experience with Gonzalez convinced him that he needed to do more to prevent wounded warriors from getting lost in the system. “Once you’re a convicted felon, it’s the scarlet letter. The hero designation goes away and is replaced with ‘convicted felon,’ ” Carter said.
Earlier this month, Carter testified in favor of a bill by state Sen. Rodney Ellis, D-Houston, that requires certain judges to establish “deferred prosecution programs” for military service members and veterans whose alleged crime can be linked to a combat-related brain injury or mental illness.
If the prosecutor agrees to a veteran participating in the program, and the veteran completes treatment and other court-imposed conditions, the case can be dismissed and the arrest record expunged. The bill has passed a committee and is awaiting a vote by the full Senate.
Letting the anger go
Carter said veterans would be judged on a case-by-case basis, and the bill isn’t intended for those who repeatedly offend or commit extremely violent crimes.
“Nobody’s in the business of making excuses for crime,” Carter said. “But we have some responsibility, in my opinion, for those who serve.”
Gonzalez appreciates what’s been done for him. He said he’s progressing with treatment and conditions of his probation. He’s starting a new job, working with other wounded warriors. He’s let go much of the anger. He’s forgiven God. He’s found solace in his family, children and a new church.
“I realized ... there’s nothing I can do that will bring anybody back, and I need to stop going down the path that I was going down because it means self-destruction,” he said.
Gonzalez still has a lot of healing to do. A loud sound, a familiar smell can transport him back to Iraq. He still has nightmares that he can’t find his gun. He spends hours watching YouTube videos of Fallujah.
But at least he got a second chance at a normal life that might never have been possible if he’d become lost in the justice system.
There are many others who deserve the same chance.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By LISA FALKENBERG - Houston Chronicle
SPRING — Just after Independence Day in 2007, Marty Gonzalez’s picture was on the front page of the Houston Chronicle under the headline “Hometown Hero” for his valor as a Marine, his three Purple Heart medals and his Bronze Star for saving American lives in Fallujah.
Not two years later, the Marine from Spring was standing in the criminal courtroom of Judge Marc Carter, charged with felony DWI with a child passenger.
At first, the judge knew nothing of Gonzalez’s story. He didn’t know that a purple scar snaking past his right elbow was the result of nine surgeries after two bullets from an insurgent’s AK-47 tore into him as he cleared houses during the second siege of Fallujah.
Or, that, in just one day in November 2004, Gonzalez had charged up a stairwell infested with insurgents, braving a hail of small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fire, not once, but 11 times, while wounded, to help a Marine escape, recover the bodies of comrades and kill several insurgents threatening other squad members.
Or, that, since Gonzalez returned from Iraq, he’d been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. That the pain wouldn’t stop. The anger helped destroy his marriage. The nightmares of buddies dying wouldn’t let him sleep.
Carter knew only that the wiry, 28-year-old before him had risked the life of his 3-year-old son when he drove his truck impaired late one night, falling asleep at the wheel and plowing into a house in Tomball. Luckily, no one was home, and Gonzalez’s son, Adryan, was strapped in his car seat and escaped injury.
In an interview last week, Gonzalez told me he had taken too many pain pills that night “just trying to relax.” His divorce had just become final; he’d gotten custody of his son. A buddy tried to grab his car keys, but Gonzalez insisted on driving.
“Here I was,” he said, “going from a good guy to a felon in one night of stupidity.”
But then the prosecutor, Terrance Windham, a felony division chief, did something prosecutors rarely do. He granted Gonzalez’s request for a pre-trial diversion, an option that would send him to rehab instead of prison.
Two fellow veterans
Once Carter learned Gonzalez’s story, he agreed that the young man with the heroic record and no previous trouble with the law deserved a second chance. Gonzalez certainly had a bit of luck, or fate, on his side. Not only was Windham a veteran, but so was the judge. Carter is a former Army captain and his father was a career Army officer who served in Vietnam.
Carter, 49, a Republican appointed by Gov. Rick Perry in 2003, has made it his personal mission to look out for veterans. About two years ago, he worked with Harris County’s pre-trial services office to flag veterans when they’re arrested and notify the VA hospital.
In March alone, the system logged 350 arrests of veterans, some of whom may have been arrested more than once.
Carter said his experience with Gonzalez convinced him that he needed to do more to prevent wounded warriors from getting lost in the system. “Once you’re a convicted felon, it’s the scarlet letter. The hero designation goes away and is replaced with ‘convicted felon,’ ” Carter said.
Earlier this month, Carter testified in favor of a bill by state Sen. Rodney Ellis, D-Houston, that requires certain judges to establish “deferred prosecution programs” for military service members and veterans whose alleged crime can be linked to a combat-related brain injury or mental illness.
If the prosecutor agrees to a veteran participating in the program, and the veteran completes treatment and other court-imposed conditions, the case can be dismissed and the arrest record expunged. The bill has passed a committee and is awaiting a vote by the full Senate.
Letting the anger go
Carter said veterans would be judged on a case-by-case basis, and the bill isn’t intended for those who repeatedly offend or commit extremely violent crimes.
“Nobody’s in the business of making excuses for crime,” Carter said. “But we have some responsibility, in my opinion, for those who serve.”
Gonzalez appreciates what’s been done for him. He said he’s progressing with treatment and conditions of his probation. He’s starting a new job, working with other wounded warriors. He’s let go much of the anger. He’s forgiven God. He’s found solace in his family, children and a new church.
“I realized ... there’s nothing I can do that will bring anybody back, and I need to stop going down the path that I was going down because it means self-destruction,” he said.
Gonzalez still has a lot of healing to do. A loud sound, a familiar smell can transport him back to Iraq. He still has nightmares that he can’t find his gun. He spends hours watching YouTube videos of Fallujah.
But at least he got a second chance at a normal life that might never have been possible if he’d become lost in the justice system.
There are many others who deserve the same chance.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Net cast for Ga. prof suspected in fatal shootings
Augusta Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Net cast for Ga. prof suspected in fatal shootings
By RUSS BYNUM
ATHENS, Ga. (AP) — Authorities had few leads Sunday as they searched for a University of Georgia professor who disappeared after his ex-wife and two other men were shot to death outside a local theater company near campus.
George Zinkhan, a 57-year-old marketing professor, was last seen Saturday afternoon by his next door neighbor when he dropped off his two young children at the neighbor's house and said there was an emergency. Zinkhan left in his red Jeep and hasn't been spotted since.
Authorities were monitoring airports in case Zinkhan tried to head to Amsterdam, where he owns a home, or Austin, Texas, where he has relatives. Zinkhan hasn't used his credit card or an ATM machines as far as authorities can tell.
"We're doing everything we can to shut him down," said Athens-Clarke County Police Capt. Clarence Holeman. "I believe he will turn up somewhere, somehow."
Investigators haven't been able to zero in on a particular area, Holeman said.
"Not when you've got 50 states to cover," he said. "He could be anywhere."
Meanwhile, friends of the victims dropped off flowers and lit candles Sunday morning in front of the Athens Community Theater. The three victims — identified by police as Zinkhan's ex-wife, Marie Bruce, 47; Tom Tanner, 40; and Ben Teague, 63 — were members of Town & Gown Players, a local theater group that was staging a performance of "Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure" at the theater this weekend.
LaBau Bryan, a member of Town & Gown Players since 1988, said Bruce cast her in her first role with the group, in the "The Makado." One her way to church, Bryan dropped off a small vase containing an English dogwood, azalea and iris — one for each of the victims.
"It's a personal loss," Bryan said, crying. "It's a terrible, terrible blow to the theater."
It was midday Saturday when members of the theater group had gathered at the Athens Community Theater a short distance from campus. Some described it as a reunion, a homecoming of sorts, for past and current group members. Most were inside the theater, while a small group was gathered around a few benches outside.
Holeman, the police captain, said an argument erupted between Zinkhan and one of the victims. Holeman said police believe Zinkhan walked away, but later returned with two guns and opened fire on the group.
Each victim was shot multiple times, according to the county coroner.
Holeman also said Zinkhan had his son and daughter with him when he went to the theater, but left them in the Jeep when the shooting occurred.
SWAT members, guns drawn, later swarmed Zinkhan's tidy middle-class suburb about seven miles from the campus and searched his two-story colonial house. They also searched his office at the university, which had issued a campus-wide alert immediately following the shooting as a precaution.
The university was advising students "to use your best judgment in taking precautions while this suspect remains at large."
When Zinkhan dropped his children off, he told his neighbor, Robert Covington, that he needed someone to watch them for about an hour because of an emergency.
Covington said when he asked Zinkhan's daughter about the emergency, "all she would relate to me was there was something about a firecracker."
Zinkhan and Bruce were still living together in the house with their children, Covington said.
Zinkhan, who has a doctorate from the University of Michigan, is a professor at UGA's Terry College of Business and had no disciplinary problems, university spokesman Pete Konenkamp said. Before joining the school in the 1990s, he held academic positions at the universities of Houston and Pittsburgh.
"His track record is impeccable as far as his teaching credentials," Konenkamp said. "He's a respected professor on campus."
Bruce, a family law attorney who specialized in divorce cases, had been a member of Town & Gown Players for several years and currently served as the group's president.
Tanner was set to play Dr. John Watson in the "Sherlock Holmes" play, which was canceled. Teague — whose wife, Fran Teague, was a longtime professor at the university — had also been a longtime member of the group, describing himself on his Web site as "a confirmed theater bum."
Shane Clayton, a Town & Gown member, said the group was in shock, describing Bruce as "very outgoing, very high-spirited" and Tanner as a wonderful person.
Athens attorney Ed Tolley said he and Bruce, who graduated from the University of Georgia's law school, worked on cases together.
"She was a wonderful person," Tolley said, "Redheaded, very attractive, very professional, and a wonderful mother."
Dana Adams, who lives across the street from Zinkhan, said she didn't know the family well, but described the professor as "kind of a strange character" who would sometimes walk off in the middle of a conversation.
"But I would never suspect this," she said.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By RUSS BYNUM
ATHENS, Ga. (AP) — Authorities had few leads Sunday as they searched for a University of Georgia professor who disappeared after his ex-wife and two other men were shot to death outside a local theater company near campus.
George Zinkhan, a 57-year-old marketing professor, was last seen Saturday afternoon by his next door neighbor when he dropped off his two young children at the neighbor's house and said there was an emergency. Zinkhan left in his red Jeep and hasn't been spotted since.
Authorities were monitoring airports in case Zinkhan tried to head to Amsterdam, where he owns a home, or Austin, Texas, where he has relatives. Zinkhan hasn't used his credit card or an ATM machines as far as authorities can tell.
"We're doing everything we can to shut him down," said Athens-Clarke County Police Capt. Clarence Holeman. "I believe he will turn up somewhere, somehow."
Investigators haven't been able to zero in on a particular area, Holeman said.
"Not when you've got 50 states to cover," he said. "He could be anywhere."
Meanwhile, friends of the victims dropped off flowers and lit candles Sunday morning in front of the Athens Community Theater. The three victims — identified by police as Zinkhan's ex-wife, Marie Bruce, 47; Tom Tanner, 40; and Ben Teague, 63 — were members of Town & Gown Players, a local theater group that was staging a performance of "Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure" at the theater this weekend.
LaBau Bryan, a member of Town & Gown Players since 1988, said Bruce cast her in her first role with the group, in the "The Makado." One her way to church, Bryan dropped off a small vase containing an English dogwood, azalea and iris — one for each of the victims.
"It's a personal loss," Bryan said, crying. "It's a terrible, terrible blow to the theater."
It was midday Saturday when members of the theater group had gathered at the Athens Community Theater a short distance from campus. Some described it as a reunion, a homecoming of sorts, for past and current group members. Most were inside the theater, while a small group was gathered around a few benches outside.
Holeman, the police captain, said an argument erupted between Zinkhan and one of the victims. Holeman said police believe Zinkhan walked away, but later returned with two guns and opened fire on the group.
Each victim was shot multiple times, according to the county coroner.
Holeman also said Zinkhan had his son and daughter with him when he went to the theater, but left them in the Jeep when the shooting occurred.
SWAT members, guns drawn, later swarmed Zinkhan's tidy middle-class suburb about seven miles from the campus and searched his two-story colonial house. They also searched his office at the university, which had issued a campus-wide alert immediately following the shooting as a precaution.
The university was advising students "to use your best judgment in taking precautions while this suspect remains at large."
When Zinkhan dropped his children off, he told his neighbor, Robert Covington, that he needed someone to watch them for about an hour because of an emergency.
Covington said when he asked Zinkhan's daughter about the emergency, "all she would relate to me was there was something about a firecracker."
Zinkhan and Bruce were still living together in the house with their children, Covington said.
Zinkhan, who has a doctorate from the University of Michigan, is a professor at UGA's Terry College of Business and had no disciplinary problems, university spokesman Pete Konenkamp said. Before joining the school in the 1990s, he held academic positions at the universities of Houston and Pittsburgh.
"His track record is impeccable as far as his teaching credentials," Konenkamp said. "He's a respected professor on campus."
Bruce, a family law attorney who specialized in divorce cases, had been a member of Town & Gown Players for several years and currently served as the group's president.
Tanner was set to play Dr. John Watson in the "Sherlock Holmes" play, which was canceled. Teague — whose wife, Fran Teague, was a longtime professor at the university — had also been a longtime member of the group, describing himself on his Web site as "a confirmed theater bum."
Shane Clayton, a Town & Gown member, said the group was in shock, describing Bruce as "very outgoing, very high-spirited" and Tanner as a wonderful person.
Athens attorney Ed Tolley said he and Bruce, who graduated from the University of Georgia's law school, worked on cases together.
"She was a wonderful person," Tolley said, "Redheaded, very attractive, very professional, and a wonderful mother."
Dana Adams, who lives across the street from Zinkhan, said she didn't know the family well, but described the professor as "kind of a strange character" who would sometimes walk off in the middle of a conversation.
"But I would never suspect this," she said.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
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