Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Divorce is the latest recession casualty: married couples can't afford to separate
BY Rosemary Black DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Let's stay together: Divorce is out of the question for couples who can't afford to split their assets during the recession.
Call it sleeping with the enemy. Or at least, living with him or her. For married couples who want to part ways, breaking up is not only hard to do, it's so out of the question these days that many are staying together under one roof to wait out the recession.
Couples who fall out of love may not even have a job anymore, much less the funds to hire an attorney to make their split legal. With housing prices down, they can't afford to sell off the real estate and go their separate ways. So some are biding their time by tolerating the other's company on their home turf. It's faux separation, recession style.
"Many couples in this situation are living on separate floors," says New York-based marriage counselor Bonnie Weil, Ph.D., author of "Financial Infidelity." "They live as if they are tenants, except they really hate each other. The kids are enmeshed in the middle of it. Everyone is confused, and everyone is suffering."
Nationwide, the number of divorce filings is down substantially. When the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers polled its 1,600 members, nearly 40 percent said that filings were down by 40 percent. "There is a lot of fear, so people are staying put," says Gary Nickelson, president of the Academy. "People look at their assets and their liquidity, and they realize they don't have any."
The inability to get a good price for a house isn't the only reason fewer couples are filing for divorce, says Sari Friedman, an attorney specializing in divorce and family law. "My personal instinct is that some couples are preoccupied with the economy, with survival and with fear," she says. "There is a flood of unhappily married people out there who would otherwise be in their lawyer's office. But now they are staying in the house together."
In the current recession, couples look at divorce as something unattainable, like a new car.
"To some extent, I feel like I am selling a luxury good," says matrimonial attorney Dan Clements. "Couples realize that even if they break even on a house sale, there are no additional funds to move into a new place and buy that new couch. And if you've been downsized, you can't move out because you can't afford a rental apartment."
For many downsized couples, divorce just doesn't make financial sense because they can't afford two of everything, Clements says. "When you are together you are paying one rent and one mortgage," he says. "But when you divorce and move apart, there are two refrigerators that need to be filled."
When couples decide to stick together, "In some cases they set up guest rooms," Clements says. "One person moves from the master bedroom to a guest room or to what was formerly a child's room. Then they just wait to see what the future will bring."
Staying together doesn't work for everyone, says Manhattan psychotherapist Mel Swartz. "If you have people who are not respectful of each other, then I would recommend getting out of the marriage at all costs," he says. "Even when people agree to stay together because of the economy, it can be a little awkward. It works when they act like they are roommates or tenants in same house, but it can be awkward when one wants to bring a friend into the house."
Is there a silver lining? "People are going to be forced to try what they should have tried before - making the marriage work," says Weil. "In many cases, I think people should try harder instead of just leaving a marriage. Some couples could actually turn this crisis into an opportunity."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Want to Help Veterans? A Guide for the New Administration in Two Easy Steps.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Want to Help Veterans? A Guide for the New Administration in Two Easy Steps.
The return of tens of thousands of veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan over the past few years, and the expectation of the largest wave of war veterans into US society since 1972 has become an important topic for the new administration. Paul Rieckhoff and the folks at IAVA are advancing the cause by bringing to public notice the issues of our returning troops.
This is good work; it helps not only our vets, but our society as well. In ancient times, warriors were the elite caste of a society. The idea that a Spartan warrior would have PTSD is ludicrous; the society in which he lived was shaped around the "glory" of organized bloodshed. Things, gratefully, are different in the modern era and there are serious psychological and medical issues that need to be addressed by the Veterans' Administration and Congress. Luckily, IAVA, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the American Legion, and many other veterans' groups are lobbying to help our men and women who have served.
I want to talk about two other issues that are often overlooked, that would not only boost morale in our serving military members, but correct oversights and deficiencies that have been, or will in the near future, punitively applied to those who have served. I am talking about two issues: gaps and omissions in the New GI Bill and the 1981 Former Spouses Protection Act.
I firmly believe the New GI Bill is a great boon for those who served. It provides a realistic stipend for the veteran to go to college, pays for tuition and books, and should have the same societal benefit as the World War II Era GI Bill did. However, there is a glaring problem with the New GI Bill. Provisions for transferring benefits to spouses and children--a wonderful thing, given the problems than many enlisted personnel have in paying for college for their kids--only applies if the service member is on active duty after August 1, 2009. In other words, if a soldier was wounded in Iraq in 2004 and left the military, they get their GI Bill benefits, but cannot transfer them to their spouse or children. This is, I believe, a simple oversight in the legislation that unfairly punishes anyone who served between September 11, 2001, and July 31, 2009. In full disclosure, I'm one of those caught in the gap. I would love to pay for my kids education with a benefit I will never use. And I know I'm not the only one.
The second area is much more sensitive. In 1981, a court case [ McCarty v. McCarty, 453 U.S. 210 (1981)] determined that military pensions were not actually divisable assets in a divorce. They had never been considered so since the first pensions were issued in the 1800's. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the fact that military pensions were the property of the service member who earned them, and not the spouse. In response, Congress pushed through a badly worded, confusing and now infamously abused law, the Former Spouses Protection Act (FSPA). The FSPA basically overrode the Supreme Court decision, by backdating the 1982 law to one day prior to the Supreme Court decision. The intent was to ensure that housewives who spent twenty years raising children and moving from military base to military base only to be divorced by an ungrateful spouse at the last minute would not be left penniless. In the era before the 1980's, when most women worked in the home, this made a lot of sense. What did not make sense is that the FSPA did not apply before 1981; in effect, it allowed anyone who received a retainer pay (technically, military retirees are only "retired" at 64; before that date, they are subject to recall to active duty and are being paid a "retainer." ) before the law took effect (e.g. the guys who dumped their home-bound wives at the last minute) to keep their money. It only took money from those who retired after 1981.
I, like many of my fellow military retirees, did not fully understand the FSPA until I went through a divorce. The FSPA does not consider situation or condition (adultery is treated the same as a mutual split due to incompatibility); it does not consider remarriage of the former spouse, unlike the retirement programs of other US government organizations; it does not consider either the sex of the spouse; it does not address the possibility of multiple marriages to military personnel (there is a case where a former spouse is drawing three 50% retirement checks from the US government and there are many cases where two checks are being drawn); and it is not based on children in the home or child custody. Lastly, what many do not understand, is that there is no magical year limit for a former spouse to claim a portion (usually 50%) of a servicemembers retired pay); a person can be married to a someone in the military for a single day on the first day they enter the military, and can appear 20 years later to claim 50% of their retirement from a state court (however, they cannot apply for direct payments from the Defense Department unless they have been married 10 years).
The world, including divorce laws and child support laws, have changed substantially since 1981. Most military spouses have jobs outside the home, just like the rest of America. Child custody does not automatically go to the mother anymore; father's rights have increased greatly in the past 30 years along with societal understanding that gender does not automatically equal perfect parenting. The initial law was intended to protect women from being abandoned by military husbands, but today's military is gender-integrated except for a few fields. Consequently, women in the military are returning home from Iraq or Afghanistan to find philandering civilian husbands who happily demand half of their hard-earned retirement pay for life. That's right--if you get the money, you get it forever. The only way the retired soldier can get her retired pay back is if the former spouse dies.
Division of military retired pay does not consider alimony, marital asset division or child custody. Cases abound where the retired service member not only loses 50% of their retired pay, but has custody of the children and has to pay alimony to the former spouse. Luckily, alimony and child support are determined by comparing income; sadly, the FSPA is not. Divorce laws have changed over the decades to address changes in American culture while the FSPA keeps to a model of the nuclear family that disappeared around 1965.
The FSPA has become such a problem for service members, that the New GI Bill has explicit provisions to prevent the division of educational benefits in event of a divorce. Numerous Congressional bills, along with appeals to the Supreme Court, have attempted to modify or outright repeal FSPA, but have been blocked for years by people who think that the FSPA 'protects women and children'--when in fact it does not. What it does is unfairly punish those who have served and acts as an impetus for the upswing of military divorce cases in the recent years.
What I propose is that the either Congress outright repeal the FSPA and abide by the U.S. Supreme Court decision (not very likely) or that Congress update and modify the FSPA to meet the changing needs in American society. The FSPA benefits need to cease upon remarriage or entry of the former spouse into a condition similar to marriage (cohabitation should not be a loophole) just like Social Security benefits do. This will put the military retiree in the same framework as other members of the U.S. government. Gender should not be a consideration in the FSPA; this is not the 1950's and women are not only working outside of the kitchen, but are retiring from the military in large numbers. Child support should not be a consideration either, as child support laws in most states are based on income (of which retirement pay is part; this prevents a "double hit" by the service member paying child support and giving up 50% of their retirement).
Congress needs to fix the gaps in the New GI Bill to cover those who served after 9/11 but before August 2009. This is an easy fix compared to the FSPA. The FSPA is an unnecessary and unjust law that surreptitiously bypassed the decision of the Supreme Court and is obsolete in today's society. It needs to be repair or repealed to recognize the changes in American society that no-fault divorce and community property laws now recognize. Let military service members keep their retired pay. They earned it. Let the same laws and regulations that govern other parts of the Federal government be applied to them as well. Do not let the fact that they wore a uniform mean they must be specially targeted, when others are not.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
The return of tens of thousands of veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan over the past few years, and the expectation of the largest wave of war veterans into US society since 1972 has become an important topic for the new administration. Paul Rieckhoff and the folks at IAVA are advancing the cause by bringing to public notice the issues of our returning troops.
This is good work; it helps not only our vets, but our society as well. In ancient times, warriors were the elite caste of a society. The idea that a Spartan warrior would have PTSD is ludicrous; the society in which he lived was shaped around the "glory" of organized bloodshed. Things, gratefully, are different in the modern era and there are serious psychological and medical issues that need to be addressed by the Veterans' Administration and Congress. Luckily, IAVA, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the American Legion, and many other veterans' groups are lobbying to help our men and women who have served.
I want to talk about two other issues that are often overlooked, that would not only boost morale in our serving military members, but correct oversights and deficiencies that have been, or will in the near future, punitively applied to those who have served. I am talking about two issues: gaps and omissions in the New GI Bill and the 1981 Former Spouses Protection Act.
I firmly believe the New GI Bill is a great boon for those who served. It provides a realistic stipend for the veteran to go to college, pays for tuition and books, and should have the same societal benefit as the World War II Era GI Bill did. However, there is a glaring problem with the New GI Bill. Provisions for transferring benefits to spouses and children--a wonderful thing, given the problems than many enlisted personnel have in paying for college for their kids--only applies if the service member is on active duty after August 1, 2009. In other words, if a soldier was wounded in Iraq in 2004 and left the military, they get their GI Bill benefits, but cannot transfer them to their spouse or children. This is, I believe, a simple oversight in the legislation that unfairly punishes anyone who served between September 11, 2001, and July 31, 2009. In full disclosure, I'm one of those caught in the gap. I would love to pay for my kids education with a benefit I will never use. And I know I'm not the only one.
The second area is much more sensitive. In 1981, a court case [ McCarty v. McCarty, 453 U.S. 210 (1981)] determined that military pensions were not actually divisable assets in a divorce. They had never been considered so since the first pensions were issued in the 1800's. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the fact that military pensions were the property of the service member who earned them, and not the spouse. In response, Congress pushed through a badly worded, confusing and now infamously abused law, the Former Spouses Protection Act (FSPA). The FSPA basically overrode the Supreme Court decision, by backdating the 1982 law to one day prior to the Supreme Court decision. The intent was to ensure that housewives who spent twenty years raising children and moving from military base to military base only to be divorced by an ungrateful spouse at the last minute would not be left penniless. In the era before the 1980's, when most women worked in the home, this made a lot of sense. What did not make sense is that the FSPA did not apply before 1981; in effect, it allowed anyone who received a retainer pay (technically, military retirees are only "retired" at 64; before that date, they are subject to recall to active duty and are being paid a "retainer." ) before the law took effect (e.g. the guys who dumped their home-bound wives at the last minute) to keep their money. It only took money from those who retired after 1981.
I, like many of my fellow military retirees, did not fully understand the FSPA until I went through a divorce. The FSPA does not consider situation or condition (adultery is treated the same as a mutual split due to incompatibility); it does not consider remarriage of the former spouse, unlike the retirement programs of other US government organizations; it does not consider either the sex of the spouse; it does not address the possibility of multiple marriages to military personnel (there is a case where a former spouse is drawing three 50% retirement checks from the US government and there are many cases where two checks are being drawn); and it is not based on children in the home or child custody. Lastly, what many do not understand, is that there is no magical year limit for a former spouse to claim a portion (usually 50%) of a servicemembers retired pay); a person can be married to a someone in the military for a single day on the first day they enter the military, and can appear 20 years later to claim 50% of their retirement from a state court (however, they cannot apply for direct payments from the Defense Department unless they have been married 10 years).
The world, including divorce laws and child support laws, have changed substantially since 1981. Most military spouses have jobs outside the home, just like the rest of America. Child custody does not automatically go to the mother anymore; father's rights have increased greatly in the past 30 years along with societal understanding that gender does not automatically equal perfect parenting. The initial law was intended to protect women from being abandoned by military husbands, but today's military is gender-integrated except for a few fields. Consequently, women in the military are returning home from Iraq or Afghanistan to find philandering civilian husbands who happily demand half of their hard-earned retirement pay for life. That's right--if you get the money, you get it forever. The only way the retired soldier can get her retired pay back is if the former spouse dies.
Division of military retired pay does not consider alimony, marital asset division or child custody. Cases abound where the retired service member not only loses 50% of their retired pay, but has custody of the children and has to pay alimony to the former spouse. Luckily, alimony and child support are determined by comparing income; sadly, the FSPA is not. Divorce laws have changed over the decades to address changes in American culture while the FSPA keeps to a model of the nuclear family that disappeared around 1965.
The FSPA has become such a problem for service members, that the New GI Bill has explicit provisions to prevent the division of educational benefits in event of a divorce. Numerous Congressional bills, along with appeals to the Supreme Court, have attempted to modify or outright repeal FSPA, but have been blocked for years by people who think that the FSPA 'protects women and children'--when in fact it does not. What it does is unfairly punish those who have served and acts as an impetus for the upswing of military divorce cases in the recent years.
What I propose is that the either Congress outright repeal the FSPA and abide by the U.S. Supreme Court decision (not very likely) or that Congress update and modify the FSPA to meet the changing needs in American society. The FSPA benefits need to cease upon remarriage or entry of the former spouse into a condition similar to marriage (cohabitation should not be a loophole) just like Social Security benefits do. This will put the military retiree in the same framework as other members of the U.S. government. Gender should not be a consideration in the FSPA; this is not the 1950's and women are not only working outside of the kitchen, but are retiring from the military in large numbers. Child support should not be a consideration either, as child support laws in most states are based on income (of which retirement pay is part; this prevents a "double hit" by the service member paying child support and giving up 50% of their retirement).
Congress needs to fix the gaps in the New GI Bill to cover those who served after 9/11 but before August 2009. This is an easy fix compared to the FSPA. The FSPA is an unnecessary and unjust law that surreptitiously bypassed the decision of the Supreme Court and is obsolete in today's society. It needs to be repair or repealed to recognize the changes in American society that no-fault divorce and community property laws now recognize. Let military service members keep their retired pay. They earned it. Let the same laws and regulations that govern other parts of the Federal government be applied to them as well. Do not let the fact that they wore a uniform mean they must be specially targeted, when others are not.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Ten Tips for Dads celebrating birthdays and holidays after Divorce
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Ten Tips for Dads celebrating birthdays and holidays after Divorce
Dealing with holidays after divorce is yet another minefield for dads. Holidays and birthdays are extra reminders that the family is no longer as it once was, and can be especially difficult during the first years after a separation. However, like much about divorce and its aftermath, if you work at it, you can create new traditions and rituals that will make that time enjoyable again.Because these times are so special, some divorced families find themselves thrown together again every holiday, if only because it’s more practical than ferrying the kids all over town. Often, it’s one big happy family with new spouses and children. However, don’t be surprised if this doesn’t happen right away, no matter how logical it seems. Time may be required to patch over differences and hard feelings and you also might find it easier to be away.1. Plan Ahead.With all the hoopla of the holidays, it won’t be easy, but you really have to plan, now that you’re trying to manage your family’s time from afar. Plan way in advance so that your ex-wife doesn’t feel under pressure. You’ll get far more if you plan early, try not to be pushy, and be extra communicative during this time.2. Use the holidays as an extra reminder that “if you don’t have anything nice to say…”The holidays, a birthday event, or even a family wedding, are not the times to dredge up bad feelings or statements of ill will, even if you’re being goaded into responding. Make a game of it and either walk away or just smile, but don’t get in a tangle, no matter how tempting. Try to make positive statements about your ex and keep the conversation away from curious questions about their “other celebration.” Don’t forget to also remind and help them shop for your ex-wife and her family.3. Keep your promises.Around holidays, be extra careful to follow up on the plans you make with your kids.4. Be flexible in your planning.Try to head off difficulties by being ready to change plans due to changes by your spouse or just in the situation. The best thing you can do is be extra-sensitive to the season or birthday and try to be ready for changes. You may find yourself having to give in to letting your kids spend “your time” with you ex-wife, for example.5. Allow your kids to have two birthday or two holidays.There’s nothing wrong with doubling up on the celebrations. Just ensure that you communicate well in advance and that you involve everyone in the planning. Re-creating the traditions and rituals and choosing your own, reinforces the idea that the children now have two strong homes.6. Involve the kids when you plan.Whenever it’s reasonable, let your children help make the choices about when and where to celebrate the holidays, and with whom. But before asking their opinions, make it clear that all plans must be cleared with everybody involved. This will help teach your kids to be part of the collaboration between you and your ex.7. Don’t spoil your kids during the holidays.Don’t feel guilty and over-indulge your kids to “make up” for the divorce, or worse, to buy their affections during the holiday. Despite the pain of divorce and flaring emotions, your kids will always be your kids. And, likewise, you need to always act like their father despite the change in situation.8. Make the best of your new family during the holidays.If you remarry or enter a long term relationship with someone who has children of her own, make sure to discuss how you will incorporate your children’s traditions with hers. Involve kids from both families to make sure you understand what is important and that no one feels left out. Since birthdays and holidays are so important to kids and adults, you’ll have to be extra flexible to incorporate everyone’s feelings.If you remarry or get into a committed relationship and your new partner has children, they will undoubtedly have their own ideas about how to celebrate holidays and birthdays. Discuss with your new partner ways that you can bring together the children from both sides of the family, and get all the kids involved with planning what you’ll do together and incorporating everyone’s traditions.Birthdays and holidays are special times for you and your kids. Communicate clearly and stay calm and flexible, and your extended family will have something to celebrate.9. Don’t forget to take off yourself if you end up spending some of the holiday alone.Holidays are difficult for many people because they trigger memories of better times or of hard times. That’s why you should make special plans. And, if you are going to have free time, arrange to be with supportive friends or family. 10. Create new traditions for your new family.Don’t’ duplicate the exact rituals that you had with your ex-wife. Instead, create new traditions that involve the kids and are representative of your new family. It’s not time to throw the baby out with the bath water, but you’ll be much happier with your own ideas than trying to re-create the past in a new situation. As you will notice in many of our Ten Tips, planning and communication are key to enjoyable holidays. Experts strongly recommend crafting a parenting agreement with your ex-wife . This agreement should cover where the kids will spend holidays and birthdays. If you can’t agree on these issues, you will be forced to argue over the same points at every holiday. And, you’ll inevitably stir up expectations and disappointments with your kids. An always-renegotiable “parenting agreement” can go a long way toward heading off many of these disagreements.
Paul BanasFounder / Editor
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Dealing with holidays after divorce is yet another minefield for dads. Holidays and birthdays are extra reminders that the family is no longer as it once was, and can be especially difficult during the first years after a separation. However, like much about divorce and its aftermath, if you work at it, you can create new traditions and rituals that will make that time enjoyable again.Because these times are so special, some divorced families find themselves thrown together again every holiday, if only because it’s more practical than ferrying the kids all over town. Often, it’s one big happy family with new spouses and children. However, don’t be surprised if this doesn’t happen right away, no matter how logical it seems. Time may be required to patch over differences and hard feelings and you also might find it easier to be away.1. Plan Ahead.With all the hoopla of the holidays, it won’t be easy, but you really have to plan, now that you’re trying to manage your family’s time from afar. Plan way in advance so that your ex-wife doesn’t feel under pressure. You’ll get far more if you plan early, try not to be pushy, and be extra communicative during this time.2. Use the holidays as an extra reminder that “if you don’t have anything nice to say…”The holidays, a birthday event, or even a family wedding, are not the times to dredge up bad feelings or statements of ill will, even if you’re being goaded into responding. Make a game of it and either walk away or just smile, but don’t get in a tangle, no matter how tempting. Try to make positive statements about your ex and keep the conversation away from curious questions about their “other celebration.” Don’t forget to also remind and help them shop for your ex-wife and her family.3. Keep your promises.Around holidays, be extra careful to follow up on the plans you make with your kids.4. Be flexible in your planning.Try to head off difficulties by being ready to change plans due to changes by your spouse or just in the situation. The best thing you can do is be extra-sensitive to the season or birthday and try to be ready for changes. You may find yourself having to give in to letting your kids spend “your time” with you ex-wife, for example.5. Allow your kids to have two birthday or two holidays.There’s nothing wrong with doubling up on the celebrations. Just ensure that you communicate well in advance and that you involve everyone in the planning. Re-creating the traditions and rituals and choosing your own, reinforces the idea that the children now have two strong homes.6. Involve the kids when you plan.Whenever it’s reasonable, let your children help make the choices about when and where to celebrate the holidays, and with whom. But before asking their opinions, make it clear that all plans must be cleared with everybody involved. This will help teach your kids to be part of the collaboration between you and your ex.7. Don’t spoil your kids during the holidays.Don’t feel guilty and over-indulge your kids to “make up” for the divorce, or worse, to buy their affections during the holiday. Despite the pain of divorce and flaring emotions, your kids will always be your kids. And, likewise, you need to always act like their father despite the change in situation.8. Make the best of your new family during the holidays.If you remarry or enter a long term relationship with someone who has children of her own, make sure to discuss how you will incorporate your children’s traditions with hers. Involve kids from both families to make sure you understand what is important and that no one feels left out. Since birthdays and holidays are so important to kids and adults, you’ll have to be extra flexible to incorporate everyone’s feelings.If you remarry or get into a committed relationship and your new partner has children, they will undoubtedly have their own ideas about how to celebrate holidays and birthdays. Discuss with your new partner ways that you can bring together the children from both sides of the family, and get all the kids involved with planning what you’ll do together and incorporating everyone’s traditions.Birthdays and holidays are special times for you and your kids. Communicate clearly and stay calm and flexible, and your extended family will have something to celebrate.9. Don’t forget to take off yourself if you end up spending some of the holiday alone.Holidays are difficult for many people because they trigger memories of better times or of hard times. That’s why you should make special plans. And, if you are going to have free time, arrange to be with supportive friends or family. 10. Create new traditions for your new family.Don’t’ duplicate the exact rituals that you had with your ex-wife. Instead, create new traditions that involve the kids and are representative of your new family. It’s not time to throw the baby out with the bath water, but you’ll be much happier with your own ideas than trying to re-create the past in a new situation. As you will notice in many of our Ten Tips, planning and communication are key to enjoyable holidays. Experts strongly recommend crafting a parenting agreement with your ex-wife . This agreement should cover where the kids will spend holidays and birthdays. If you can’t agree on these issues, you will be forced to argue over the same points at every holiday. And, you’ll inevitably stir up expectations and disappointments with your kids. An always-renegotiable “parenting agreement” can go a long way toward heading off many of these disagreements.
Paul BanasFounder / Editor
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - 'Jon & Kate Plus 8' heading for divorce?
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - 'Jon & Kate Plus 8' heading for divorce?
By Hanh Nguyen
Jon and Kate Gosselin of TLC's docudrama Jon & Kate Plus 8, about their family life with two sets of multiples, may have trouble in paradise.
The couple appears to have serious marriage problems now that Jon has started spending increasing time away from home and partying with college girls, claims InTouchWeekly.com.
In a Feb. 6 incident, Jon was reportedly hanging out at Mimi's martini bar in Huntington, Penn. -- easily three hours away from the new home he and Kate moved into with their children -- when he met some girls from Juniata College who invited him to a house party.
"He walked in with two girls he met at Mimi's bar," a senior tells the magazine. "It was so cool."
Jon then proceeded to play beer pong and then follow the party with a nightcap at Memories Sports Bar and Grill, where he reportedly got drunker, flirted with the Juniata girls and told one, "We might be getting a divorce."
Jon and Kate have often bickered on camera, part of the everyday activities on the show that includes family outings, movie nights and dentist visits. The couple even traveled to Hawaii to renew their wedding vows. The latest episodes documented their move into a much larger house and the purchase of two German Shepherd puppies.
Their children include 8-year-old twins Cara and Mady and 4-year-old sextuplets Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah and Joel. The children were the result of fertility treatments.
The elder Gosselins have come under attack for exploiting their children and the blog Gosselins Without Pity offers rather snarky recaps of the show and a forum for Gosselin critics.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Hanh Nguyen
Jon and Kate Gosselin of TLC's docudrama Jon & Kate Plus 8, about their family life with two sets of multiples, may have trouble in paradise.
The couple appears to have serious marriage problems now that Jon has started spending increasing time away from home and partying with college girls, claims InTouchWeekly.com.
In a Feb. 6 incident, Jon was reportedly hanging out at Mimi's martini bar in Huntington, Penn. -- easily three hours away from the new home he and Kate moved into with their children -- when he met some girls from Juniata College who invited him to a house party.
"He walked in with two girls he met at Mimi's bar," a senior tells the magazine. "It was so cool."
Jon then proceeded to play beer pong and then follow the party with a nightcap at Memories Sports Bar and Grill, where he reportedly got drunker, flirted with the Juniata girls and told one, "We might be getting a divorce."
Jon and Kate have often bickered on camera, part of the everyday activities on the show that includes family outings, movie nights and dentist visits. The couple even traveled to Hawaii to renew their wedding vows. The latest episodes documented their move into a much larger house and the purchase of two German Shepherd puppies.
Their children include 8-year-old twins Cara and Mady and 4-year-old sextuplets Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah and Joel. The children were the result of fertility treatments.
The elder Gosselins have come under attack for exploiting their children and the blog Gosselins Without Pity offers rather snarky recaps of the show and a forum for Gosselin critics.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Woman testifies in Waco she joined husband and Army buddy in plot to kill his wife
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Woman testifies in Waco she joined husband and Army buddy in plot to kill his wife
By Tommy Witherspoon -Tribune-Herald staff writer
The wife of an Army soldier testified Tuesday that she reluctantly joined her husband in a plot to kill another soldier’s cheating wife because he convinced her that the money they were promised would save their faltering marriage and turn their lives around.
Chantell Watson told jurors in Waco’s federal court that she participated with her husband, Adam R. Watson, and William Henry Foster in a plan to kill Foster’s wife, Kailey Foster, at the Fosters’ home on Fort Hood. Chantell Watson pleaded guilty in December to conspiracy to commit murder but has not been sentenced.
Adam Watson, from California, and Washington resident William Foster, both 22 and Iraq war veterans deployed from Fort Hood, are on trial in Waco’s U.S. District Court on murder conspiracy charges.
Nine Army criminal investigation division special agents testified Tuesday about the steps they took after a friend of William Foster’s tipped them to the alleged plot to kill Kailey Foster in August. They also testified that Adam Watson and William Foster implicated themselves in the conspiracy in written statements each gave after being detained by military officials.
Despite the confessions that prosecutors read to the jury Tuesday, attorneys for Watson and Foster claimed there was no murder conspiracy and that Foster was planning a divorce. They also suggested during cross-examinations that the statements, in which both admit to their roles in the murder-for-hire scheme, were coerced.
Chantell Watson, who lived with Kailey Foster for a month in June 2008, told jurors that they were close friends for a time.
“It changed because she didn’t feel I should be with my husband because of how he was treating me,” she said. “I chose my husband over her, and I quit talking to her.”
Adam Watson was deployed to Iraq in July, and William Foster had been deployed the month before. Chantell Watson said her husband returned in August on leave so they could “fix up their relationship.” He also came home with an idea, planted by Foster, she said.
“He said he had a way to make a lot of money and make everything better for us,” Chantell Watson said. “He wouldn’t tell me at first, but later he said that Will wanted him to kill his wife. I said no because that is just not OK to do.”
$75,000 for killing
Adam Watson told her that Foster offered him $75,000 to walk into the Fosters’ home on Osage Circle, get a knife from the kitchen and slit his wife’s throat while she was asleep, she told jurors. The money was to come from a life insurance policy Foster had on his wife.
Her husband and Foster continued to talk about the plan in Internet messages while Foster was still in Iraq, Chantell Watson said. As the plans continued, she reluctantly agreed to it, she said, adding that she even told Foster that she would try to befriend Kailey Foster again, despite what she described as “Kailey’s cheating habits,” so she could get into a position to drive the Fosters’ vehicle away from the scene.
Her testimony will resume this morning.
Army investigators testified Tuesday that they arrested Adam and Chantell Watson on Aug. 28 when the pair showed up at a drop site behind a Fort Hood store where investigators had planted a bag filled with clean clothes, rubbing alcohol and rags that Adam Watson was going to need to kill Kailey Foster.
Adam Watson thought that Foster’s friend, Chris Gardner, had left the bag there to help Watson. However, Gardner instead reported the murder plan and cooperated with police to help them arrest Foster and the Watsons, trial testimony revealed.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Tommy Witherspoon -Tribune-Herald staff writer
The wife of an Army soldier testified Tuesday that she reluctantly joined her husband in a plot to kill another soldier’s cheating wife because he convinced her that the money they were promised would save their faltering marriage and turn their lives around.
Chantell Watson told jurors in Waco’s federal court that she participated with her husband, Adam R. Watson, and William Henry Foster in a plan to kill Foster’s wife, Kailey Foster, at the Fosters’ home on Fort Hood. Chantell Watson pleaded guilty in December to conspiracy to commit murder but has not been sentenced.
Adam Watson, from California, and Washington resident William Foster, both 22 and Iraq war veterans deployed from Fort Hood, are on trial in Waco’s U.S. District Court on murder conspiracy charges.
Nine Army criminal investigation division special agents testified Tuesday about the steps they took after a friend of William Foster’s tipped them to the alleged plot to kill Kailey Foster in August. They also testified that Adam Watson and William Foster implicated themselves in the conspiracy in written statements each gave after being detained by military officials.
Despite the confessions that prosecutors read to the jury Tuesday, attorneys for Watson and Foster claimed there was no murder conspiracy and that Foster was planning a divorce. They also suggested during cross-examinations that the statements, in which both admit to their roles in the murder-for-hire scheme, were coerced.
Chantell Watson, who lived with Kailey Foster for a month in June 2008, told jurors that they were close friends for a time.
“It changed because she didn’t feel I should be with my husband because of how he was treating me,” she said. “I chose my husband over her, and I quit talking to her.”
Adam Watson was deployed to Iraq in July, and William Foster had been deployed the month before. Chantell Watson said her husband returned in August on leave so they could “fix up their relationship.” He also came home with an idea, planted by Foster, she said.
“He said he had a way to make a lot of money and make everything better for us,” Chantell Watson said. “He wouldn’t tell me at first, but later he said that Will wanted him to kill his wife. I said no because that is just not OK to do.”
$75,000 for killing
Adam Watson told her that Foster offered him $75,000 to walk into the Fosters’ home on Osage Circle, get a knife from the kitchen and slit his wife’s throat while she was asleep, she told jurors. The money was to come from a life insurance policy Foster had on his wife.
Her husband and Foster continued to talk about the plan in Internet messages while Foster was still in Iraq, Chantell Watson said. As the plans continued, she reluctantly agreed to it, she said, adding that she even told Foster that she would try to befriend Kailey Foster again, despite what she described as “Kailey’s cheating habits,” so she could get into a position to drive the Fosters’ vehicle away from the scene.
Her testimony will resume this morning.
Army investigators testified Tuesday that they arrested Adam and Chantell Watson on Aug. 28 when the pair showed up at a drop site behind a Fort Hood store where investigators had planted a bag filled with clean clothes, rubbing alcohol and rags that Adam Watson was going to need to kill Kailey Foster.
Adam Watson thought that Foster’s friend, Chris Gardner, had left the bag there to help Watson. However, Gardner instead reported the murder plan and cooperated with police to help them arrest Foster and the Watsons, trial testimony revealed.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer - Lawmakers want faster progress on TBI, PTSD
Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer - Lawmakers want faster progress on TBI, PTSD
By Kelly Kennedy - Staff writer
A hearing meant to give Defense Department officials a chance to explain their plans for spending $900 million allocated for mental health care quickly turned into a debate on how that money should be spent.
As yet, military experts on post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injuries are still working out which studies should be funded, which treatment methods should be adopted and which pilot programs should be put in place.
“We keep getting studies,” Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., chairman of the House defense appropriations panel, said at a hearing Tuesday. “That’s the problem with the Defense Department — they study it to death.”
“I would say that you’ve helped us significantly,” Ellen Embrey, deputy assistant secretary of defense for force health readiness and protection, told Murtha and other lawmakers. “I would like to report in future hearings what we’re doing with that money.”
Lawmakers had plenty of ideas of their own: Buy more helicopters to get wounded troops out of Afghanistan faster; begin treating traumatic brain injuries immediately using hyperbaric oxygen chambers; and, most importantly, quit spending so much time studying options that never become reality.
Murtha began the hearing by lamenting the growing number of suicides among active-duty soldiers, higher rates of divorce in the ranks and stories he said he keeps hearing about service members being treated poorly when they ask for help.
But Army Brig. Gen. Loree Sutton, director of the new Defense Center of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury, said there is much positive news since her program was created.
“We have come a long way since just over a year ago when we were a name on a piece of paper,” Sutton said.
She said there are 20 new sites to deal with mental health and traumatic brain injury issues, that a new pilot program helps young people who now need assisted-living services, and that 2,700 providers have been trained about PTSD and TBI.
However, she said, the Defense Department missed its goal for hiring new mental health providers.
“Are we hiring enough?” Embrey saked. “I don’t think we could hire enough at this point. The services had hoped to hire 1,000, and they’ve hired 800, so they’re not as successful as they’d like.”
She said officials are working on better recruiting methods, but there is a national shortage of mental health care workers.
Sutton said the Veterans Affairs Department also has made changes, contacting 500,000 veterans to make sure they know what support is available and to see whether they’re having problems. And, she said, a new suicide-prevention hot line has received more than 100,000 calls.
“Yet suicide rates are up?” Murtha asked.
Sutton said the military was putting its “greatest efforts and focused urgency” on the suicide issue, and ensuring other service members know the warning signs and how to intervene.
Of 4,000 people with traumatic brain injuries in the Defense Department’s TBI registry, 80 percent to 85 percent have mild TBIs, Sutton said. But “mild” can be a misnomer: Some people with mild TBI face permanent short-term memory loss, headaches, vision problems and seizures.
She also said 10 percent to 20 percent of troops screen positive for PTSD during redeployment screenings.
But she noted that although combat affects everyone, not everyone develops a disorder, and that most people with TBI fully recover. Still, she said, the military must continue to chip away at the stigma that deters service members from seeking help, and more research needs to be done on treatment for PTSD and TBI.
Bouncing back
Perhaps the most surprising bit of news from Sutton was something she called “post-traumatic growth.”
She told lawmakers of a service member who had lost his legs in combat and, she said, told her he wouldn’t take them back “for the world” because he had grown so much after losing them. She said many troops “bounce back” and are coming through their experiences stronger than before.
Sutton said some of the money Congress allocated for mental health issues has been targeted for alternative forms of medicine, such as tai chi, massage, acupuncture and yoga.
Ten such projects are in place. “We can perhaps even serve as a model for the nation at large,” Sutton said of the success of those methods.
When she and Embrey finished talking about their programs, lawmakers weighed in on issues they thought were important.
Murtha said service members in Afghanistan are dying at higher rates from their injuries than service members in Iraq, and he blamed it on a lack of transportation. “It’s taking longer to get out of Afghanistan,” he said. “I would assume it’s because they can’t evacuate them as quickly as they might.”
Rep. Sanford Bishop, D-Ga., asked why the military is not yet using hyperbaric oxygen chambers to treat TBI in the wake of a recent study of 16 people with TBI that showed all 16 improved.
The treatment involves 40 to 60 sessions in a chamber in which the patient is exposed to higher oxygen levels. The chambers have long been used to help people who develop the bends from deep-sea diving, and have been shown to be beneficial for healing wounds faster and getting rid of infection, Sutton said.
She called the new study “promising,” and said defense officials will meet with Food and Drug Administration officials at the end of the month to plan a clinical trial.
“We are as hopeful as anyone that this will become a proven standard of care,” Sutton said.
“It just takes so long,” said Rep. Norman Dicks, D-Wash. “That’s what’s so frustrating.”
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Kelly Kennedy - Staff writer
A hearing meant to give Defense Department officials a chance to explain their plans for spending $900 million allocated for mental health care quickly turned into a debate on how that money should be spent.
As yet, military experts on post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injuries are still working out which studies should be funded, which treatment methods should be adopted and which pilot programs should be put in place.
“We keep getting studies,” Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., chairman of the House defense appropriations panel, said at a hearing Tuesday. “That’s the problem with the Defense Department — they study it to death.”
“I would say that you’ve helped us significantly,” Ellen Embrey, deputy assistant secretary of defense for force health readiness and protection, told Murtha and other lawmakers. “I would like to report in future hearings what we’re doing with that money.”
Lawmakers had plenty of ideas of their own: Buy more helicopters to get wounded troops out of Afghanistan faster; begin treating traumatic brain injuries immediately using hyperbaric oxygen chambers; and, most importantly, quit spending so much time studying options that never become reality.
Murtha began the hearing by lamenting the growing number of suicides among active-duty soldiers, higher rates of divorce in the ranks and stories he said he keeps hearing about service members being treated poorly when they ask for help.
But Army Brig. Gen. Loree Sutton, director of the new Defense Center of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury, said there is much positive news since her program was created.
“We have come a long way since just over a year ago when we were a name on a piece of paper,” Sutton said.
She said there are 20 new sites to deal with mental health and traumatic brain injury issues, that a new pilot program helps young people who now need assisted-living services, and that 2,700 providers have been trained about PTSD and TBI.
However, she said, the Defense Department missed its goal for hiring new mental health providers.
“Are we hiring enough?” Embrey saked. “I don’t think we could hire enough at this point. The services had hoped to hire 1,000, and they’ve hired 800, so they’re not as successful as they’d like.”
She said officials are working on better recruiting methods, but there is a national shortage of mental health care workers.
Sutton said the Veterans Affairs Department also has made changes, contacting 500,000 veterans to make sure they know what support is available and to see whether they’re having problems. And, she said, a new suicide-prevention hot line has received more than 100,000 calls.
“Yet suicide rates are up?” Murtha asked.
Sutton said the military was putting its “greatest efforts and focused urgency” on the suicide issue, and ensuring other service members know the warning signs and how to intervene.
Of 4,000 people with traumatic brain injuries in the Defense Department’s TBI registry, 80 percent to 85 percent have mild TBIs, Sutton said. But “mild” can be a misnomer: Some people with mild TBI face permanent short-term memory loss, headaches, vision problems and seizures.
She also said 10 percent to 20 percent of troops screen positive for PTSD during redeployment screenings.
But she noted that although combat affects everyone, not everyone develops a disorder, and that most people with TBI fully recover. Still, she said, the military must continue to chip away at the stigma that deters service members from seeking help, and more research needs to be done on treatment for PTSD and TBI.
Bouncing back
Perhaps the most surprising bit of news from Sutton was something she called “post-traumatic growth.”
She told lawmakers of a service member who had lost his legs in combat and, she said, told her he wouldn’t take them back “for the world” because he had grown so much after losing them. She said many troops “bounce back” and are coming through their experiences stronger than before.
Sutton said some of the money Congress allocated for mental health issues has been targeted for alternative forms of medicine, such as tai chi, massage, acupuncture and yoga.
Ten such projects are in place. “We can perhaps even serve as a model for the nation at large,” Sutton said of the success of those methods.
When she and Embrey finished talking about their programs, lawmakers weighed in on issues they thought were important.
Murtha said service members in Afghanistan are dying at higher rates from their injuries than service members in Iraq, and he blamed it on a lack of transportation. “It’s taking longer to get out of Afghanistan,” he said. “I would assume it’s because they can’t evacuate them as quickly as they might.”
Rep. Sanford Bishop, D-Ga., asked why the military is not yet using hyperbaric oxygen chambers to treat TBI in the wake of a recent study of 16 people with TBI that showed all 16 improved.
The treatment involves 40 to 60 sessions in a chamber in which the patient is exposed to higher oxygen levels. The chambers have long been used to help people who develop the bends from deep-sea diving, and have been shown to be beneficial for healing wounds faster and getting rid of infection, Sutton said.
She called the new study “promising,” and said defense officials will meet with Food and Drug Administration officials at the end of the month to plan a clinical trial.
“We are as hopeful as anyone that this will become a proven standard of care,” Sutton said.
“It just takes so long,” said Rep. Norman Dicks, D-Wash. “That’s what’s so frustrating.”
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Iraq war veteran in battle for his two children
Georgia Military Divorce Attorney - Iraq war veteran in battle for his two children
BY KENDRICK MARSHALL
The last 15 months have been a roller coaster for Army Spc. Steven Taylor of Waukegan.
The medic spent much of that time working for the 43rd CBT EN Deployment Assault and Obstacle Division tending to sick and wounded soldiers in Iraq.
Through it all, he was thinking about his two children, Emily, 7 and Anthony, 5 -- and his impending divorce.
"It has been hard to deal with," Taylor said in reference to his family situation and battle to gain custody of his children. "Being over there helped me keep my mind off it." Taylor, 27, said his children are his sole focus.
"I have been going back and forth trying my best to take care of them," he said. "They are all I think about. They got me through basic training and through those other difficult times."
Those difficult times included a seemingly never-ending struggle for survival in the deserts of the Middle East.
"Our group did get blown up a lot," Taylor said. "But fortunately I did not get seriously injured. I did know some soldiers who were messed up pretty badly. We were lucky."
Taylor suffered what he called "a trying day" when he was the only experienced Army medic at a local hospital following an attack that left dozens injured.
"All I had to do was take care of as many people as I could," he said. "There were some that you could tell were not going to make it, and some that needed to be treated and transferred to another hospital. It was just a bad day."
There were many good days for Taylor during his time in Iraq, where he bonded with guys in his unit and developed lifelong friendships.
"I am a soldier first before I am a medic," he said. "You might not like the guy you are with, but when something happens I know they have my back."
Taylor expects the fighting in Iraq to last long after his discharge in 2010.
"It's not going to end. There is too much hatred," he said. "As long as the U.S. is over there, the war is not going to end."
While that might be the case, Taylor said he would not trade his experiences in the Army for anything in the world.
"Being in the military teaches a lot of life lessons to so many different people."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
BY KENDRICK MARSHALL
The last 15 months have been a roller coaster for Army Spc. Steven Taylor of Waukegan.
The medic spent much of that time working for the 43rd CBT EN Deployment Assault and Obstacle Division tending to sick and wounded soldiers in Iraq.
Through it all, he was thinking about his two children, Emily, 7 and Anthony, 5 -- and his impending divorce.
"It has been hard to deal with," Taylor said in reference to his family situation and battle to gain custody of his children. "Being over there helped me keep my mind off it." Taylor, 27, said his children are his sole focus.
"I have been going back and forth trying my best to take care of them," he said. "They are all I think about. They got me through basic training and through those other difficult times."
Those difficult times included a seemingly never-ending struggle for survival in the deserts of the Middle East.
"Our group did get blown up a lot," Taylor said. "But fortunately I did not get seriously injured. I did know some soldiers who were messed up pretty badly. We were lucky."
Taylor suffered what he called "a trying day" when he was the only experienced Army medic at a local hospital following an attack that left dozens injured.
"All I had to do was take care of as many people as I could," he said. "There were some that you could tell were not going to make it, and some that needed to be treated and transferred to another hospital. It was just a bad day."
There were many good days for Taylor during his time in Iraq, where he bonded with guys in his unit and developed lifelong friendships.
"I am a soldier first before I am a medic," he said. "You might not like the guy you are with, but when something happens I know they have my back."
Taylor expects the fighting in Iraq to last long after his discharge in 2010.
"It's not going to end. There is too much hatred," he said. "As long as the U.S. is over there, the war is not going to end."
While that might be the case, Taylor said he would not trade his experiences in the Army for anything in the world.
"Being in the military teaches a lot of life lessons to so many different people."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Money makeover: Single mother plagued by sleepless nights over debt
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Money makeover: Single mother plagued by sleepless nights over debt
By Michelle Archer- Special to The Seattle Times
Picture personal income like an airplane flight. You take off in a career, climb in savings, level off in salary and, at a certain age, hope to land smoothly into retirement and a nice long taxi to the gate.
Sometimes, of course, turbulence is unavoidable.
Barbara Courtney, a 59-year-old flight attendant, has recently hit a patch of rough air. Her divorce was finalized a few months ago and as part of the settlement terms, she owes her ex-husband for his portion of the equity in the Woodinville home she still shares with children Leila, 14, and Kai, 9.
"The divorce decree says that I have to give him $200,000, and I stress about this all night," Courtney says. "I lay in bed and I can't sleep."
She was able to access some of the funds by refinancing from a 15- to 30-year mortgage late last year. That freed up about $70,000 for her ex-husband but raised her monthly mortgage payment to $2,100 — an amount she fears will be a stretch given she makes about $46,000 a year, depending on how frequently she can fly.
Though she doesn't work from a budget, Courtney says she tries to be as frugal as she can.
"I shop at secondhand stores for everything. Value Village, Goodwill and the Salvation Army are my friends," she says.
Courtney has steadily contributed to her 401(k) over the 30 years she's worked for Alaska Airlines, started college funds, bought some mutual funds and paid her credit cards off each month.
But even with her thriftiness and her ex-husband's child-support contribution — $1,500 each month — and a spousal support of $500 a month for three years, she can't imagine how she'll be able to pay her ex-husband the remaining $130,000 by the November 2011 deadline required by the settlement.
"I don't have the money," she says. "It's not going to happen. I'll have to sell the house."
Courtney worries this is a terrible time to sell. Listing prices are dropping, her house needs a new roof and she has no desire to uproot her children, who have lived in the Woodinville house since they were adopted from China as toddlers.
Uncertain how to move forward, Courtney consulted George Sisti, the founder of On Course Financial Planning in Woodinville and a member of the Financial Planning Association — Puget Sound Chapter.
Combing through fine print
Sisti helped Courtney comb through the fine print on her paperwork — two filing cabinets full — and developed a financial plan built around her short- and long-term goals: paying the debt she owes her ex-husband, figuring how to pay for the new roof, funding any college expenses and calculating when — if ever — she'll be able to retire.
Sisti agreed that the $130,000 payment was a big boulder in Courtney's financial path — and found the debt was actually larger than Courtney thought.
"Unfortunately, there is a 7.5 percent interest rate that accompanies this debt, and it would be beneficial to pay it off as soon as possible," Sisti says in Courtney's financial plan. "Each month that she delays increases the balance she owes her ex by $812.50."
Ideally, Courtney would be able to tap into her 401(k) with what's called an in-service withdrawal when she turns 59 ½ later this month. Unfortunately, Sisti says, Courtney's 401(k) does not have this option.
Instead, Sisti recommended Courtney contact her attorney to establish a qualified domestic-relations order, which would allow the debt to be paid directly to her ex-husband as an alternate payee from her 401(k) without tax penalties.
Courtney says she wasn't aware of the order before meeting with Sisti. She's done her share of the paperwork for it and is waiting to hear if her ex-husband will accept it. If he does, Courtney would consider it a lifesaver.
"There's no way I could come up with that much money any other way," Courtney said.
"Under normal conditions," Sisti says, "we'd like to keep the 401(k) account growing, but there's no investment these days that will return a guaranteed, after-tax 7.5 percent for the next 2 ½ years."
As for the roof, which Courtney estimates will cost between $10,000 and $13,000, Sisti recommended that Courtney sell off mutual funds in several small brokerage accounts and jettison the Alaska Airlines stock she bought at a discount through an employee stock-purchase plan.
"She needs money in the bank and extra cash flow," Sisti said. "There's no need to have an investment that isn't hinged or attached to a goal."
Sisti added that there are only two types of investors who own airline stocks: airline employees and speculators.
"I see no reason for her to have an equity position in an industry that has been hemorrhaging cash since Charles Lindbergh packed his lunch," Sisti wrote in his recommendations.
And as an airline pilot for United since 1978, Sisti is in a unique position to understand the industry's financial challenges. The upheaval after Sept. 11, 2001 — with many airlines declaring bankruptcy and freezing pension plans — motivated Sisti to pursue financial planning as a concurrent career.
Surprise annuity
Courtney wasted little time following Sisti's suggestions to sell the mutual funds and Alaska Airlines stock. Later this month, she'll be eligible to surrender without penalty a $28,000 variable annuity Sisti said Courtney didn't even know she had.
Sisti advised that Courtney go to the insurance agent's office and not leave until she understands all her options with the annuity.
He also recommended that she write off as a tax loss a $1,500 investment she made several years ago in a mining company that's now worthless.
Sisti's cash-flow analysis showed that Courtney should build up some cash reserves now, because in three or four years, she'll have more money going out than coming in.
Nevertheless, with the remaining balance in her 401(k), which includes a pension rollover from Alaska Airlines, and Social Security, Sisti calculates she'll still be able to retire at 66, something Courtney didn't think would be possible.
Among other moves made by Courtney since her plan was developed:
• She's adjusted her current 401(k) contribution down to the level that her company matches.
• She's changed her federal-tax withholding after Sisti noted she's having too much tax taken out of her paycheck.
• She's purchased a $2 million umbrella insurance policy to fill gaps in her coverage.
• She's met with an estate-planning attorney to create a will and a trust for her children, including possibly a special-needs trust for Leila, who has been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, a form of autism. Courtney was tremendously pleased with Sisti's advice and the financial-planning process, saying it gave her a new outlook on life and it helps her sleep at night.
"It's a huge burden that's been lifted off me," Courtney says.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Michelle Archer- Special to The Seattle Times
Picture personal income like an airplane flight. You take off in a career, climb in savings, level off in salary and, at a certain age, hope to land smoothly into retirement and a nice long taxi to the gate.
Sometimes, of course, turbulence is unavoidable.
Barbara Courtney, a 59-year-old flight attendant, has recently hit a patch of rough air. Her divorce was finalized a few months ago and as part of the settlement terms, she owes her ex-husband for his portion of the equity in the Woodinville home she still shares with children Leila, 14, and Kai, 9.
"The divorce decree says that I have to give him $200,000, and I stress about this all night," Courtney says. "I lay in bed and I can't sleep."
She was able to access some of the funds by refinancing from a 15- to 30-year mortgage late last year. That freed up about $70,000 for her ex-husband but raised her monthly mortgage payment to $2,100 — an amount she fears will be a stretch given she makes about $46,000 a year, depending on how frequently she can fly.
Though she doesn't work from a budget, Courtney says she tries to be as frugal as she can.
"I shop at secondhand stores for everything. Value Village, Goodwill and the Salvation Army are my friends," she says.
Courtney has steadily contributed to her 401(k) over the 30 years she's worked for Alaska Airlines, started college funds, bought some mutual funds and paid her credit cards off each month.
But even with her thriftiness and her ex-husband's child-support contribution — $1,500 each month — and a spousal support of $500 a month for three years, she can't imagine how she'll be able to pay her ex-husband the remaining $130,000 by the November 2011 deadline required by the settlement.
"I don't have the money," she says. "It's not going to happen. I'll have to sell the house."
Courtney worries this is a terrible time to sell. Listing prices are dropping, her house needs a new roof and she has no desire to uproot her children, who have lived in the Woodinville house since they were adopted from China as toddlers.
Uncertain how to move forward, Courtney consulted George Sisti, the founder of On Course Financial Planning in Woodinville and a member of the Financial Planning Association — Puget Sound Chapter.
Combing through fine print
Sisti helped Courtney comb through the fine print on her paperwork — two filing cabinets full — and developed a financial plan built around her short- and long-term goals: paying the debt she owes her ex-husband, figuring how to pay for the new roof, funding any college expenses and calculating when — if ever — she'll be able to retire.
Sisti agreed that the $130,000 payment was a big boulder in Courtney's financial path — and found the debt was actually larger than Courtney thought.
"Unfortunately, there is a 7.5 percent interest rate that accompanies this debt, and it would be beneficial to pay it off as soon as possible," Sisti says in Courtney's financial plan. "Each month that she delays increases the balance she owes her ex by $812.50."
Ideally, Courtney would be able to tap into her 401(k) with what's called an in-service withdrawal when she turns 59 ½ later this month. Unfortunately, Sisti says, Courtney's 401(k) does not have this option.
Instead, Sisti recommended Courtney contact her attorney to establish a qualified domestic-relations order, which would allow the debt to be paid directly to her ex-husband as an alternate payee from her 401(k) without tax penalties.
Courtney says she wasn't aware of the order before meeting with Sisti. She's done her share of the paperwork for it and is waiting to hear if her ex-husband will accept it. If he does, Courtney would consider it a lifesaver.
"There's no way I could come up with that much money any other way," Courtney said.
"Under normal conditions," Sisti says, "we'd like to keep the 401(k) account growing, but there's no investment these days that will return a guaranteed, after-tax 7.5 percent for the next 2 ½ years."
As for the roof, which Courtney estimates will cost between $10,000 and $13,000, Sisti recommended that Courtney sell off mutual funds in several small brokerage accounts and jettison the Alaska Airlines stock she bought at a discount through an employee stock-purchase plan.
"She needs money in the bank and extra cash flow," Sisti said. "There's no need to have an investment that isn't hinged or attached to a goal."
Sisti added that there are only two types of investors who own airline stocks: airline employees and speculators.
"I see no reason for her to have an equity position in an industry that has been hemorrhaging cash since Charles Lindbergh packed his lunch," Sisti wrote in his recommendations.
And as an airline pilot for United since 1978, Sisti is in a unique position to understand the industry's financial challenges. The upheaval after Sept. 11, 2001 — with many airlines declaring bankruptcy and freezing pension plans — motivated Sisti to pursue financial planning as a concurrent career.
Surprise annuity
Courtney wasted little time following Sisti's suggestions to sell the mutual funds and Alaska Airlines stock. Later this month, she'll be eligible to surrender without penalty a $28,000 variable annuity Sisti said Courtney didn't even know she had.
Sisti advised that Courtney go to the insurance agent's office and not leave until she understands all her options with the annuity.
He also recommended that she write off as a tax loss a $1,500 investment she made several years ago in a mining company that's now worthless.
Sisti's cash-flow analysis showed that Courtney should build up some cash reserves now, because in three or four years, she'll have more money going out than coming in.
Nevertheless, with the remaining balance in her 401(k), which includes a pension rollover from Alaska Airlines, and Social Security, Sisti calculates she'll still be able to retire at 66, something Courtney didn't think would be possible.
Among other moves made by Courtney since her plan was developed:
• She's adjusted her current 401(k) contribution down to the level that her company matches.
• She's changed her federal-tax withholding after Sisti noted she's having too much tax taken out of her paycheck.
• She's purchased a $2 million umbrella insurance policy to fill gaps in her coverage.
• She's met with an estate-planning attorney to create a will and a trust for her children, including possibly a special-needs trust for Leila, who has been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, a form of autism. Courtney was tremendously pleased with Sisti's advice and the financial-planning process, saying it gave her a new outlook on life and it helps her sleep at night.
"It's a huge burden that's been lifted off me," Courtney says.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Reminder about the Iraq Withdrawal
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Reminder about the Iraq Withdrawal
From NBC's Jim Miklaszewski
However it may be framed politically, President Obama'sdecision on U.S. troop levels in Iraq will NOT withdraw all U.S. combat forces from Iraq within the next 19 months.
Senior military and Pentagon officials stress -- whatever the bottom line number (which may be up to 50,000 troops remaining, it will include combat elements. Senior military officials tell NBC News those combat troops may be renamed as "advisory brigades," which will work closely with the Iraqi military, but they will still be combat forces. There will also be a number of combat forces that would be assigned to protection of the U.S. military force, the U.S. embassy and U.S. government civilian workers in Iraq.
There will also be a "residual combat force" that will be assigned to a counter-terrorism mission, to continue to hunt down terrorist elements (Al Qaeda, foreign fighters, etc.) in Iraq.
Besides the reduction in U.S. forces from today's 142,000 to about 50,000 the biggest change is that even those combat forces that do remain will no longer be engaged in daily, routine combat missions as they are today. By August 2010, the Iraqi military and police are expected to takeover all daily combat missions.
Nevertheless, given the nature of the counterinsurgency in Iraq, all U.S. forces -- whatever their mission, rank, or gender -- could be drawn into the fight without warning. Therefore, as Gen. (retired) Barry McCaffrey has repeatedly stressed, to leave those forces without some level of combat force protection would be irresponsible.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - A girl shouldn't go through a divorce
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - A girl shouldn't go through a divorce
By forcing young couple to divorce following mock wedding rabbinical judges have once again turned the Torah into a laughing stock
Rivkah Lubitch
Paradoxically, as difficult it is to get a divorce – it is extremely easy to get married, and it can even be done unknowingly. Ynet recently reported of a 17-year-old teen and his 14-year-old girlfriend who asked the rabbinical court for a divorce after playing "bride and groom." In fact, every boy over the bar-mitzvah age of 13 can betroth any girl. Moreover, every father can betroth his own little girl (under the age of 12) without her knowing. And things have been known to happen.
Teen Wedding
New record: Married and divorced at 14 / Kobi Nahshoni
Seventeen-year-old teen and his 14-year-old girlfriend declared youngest couple to get a divorce in Israel, after 'mock wedding' they held became legal according to Jewish law because they had sex
Full Story
Several years ago, a father betrothed his daughter, without her knowing, to another man, and refused to give out the man's name. By doing so, the father in fact prevented his daughter from marrying anyone else, until this unknown man would be willing to grant her a divorce. Why would someone do such a vile thing? Very simple – the father was a recalcitrant husband who wanted to make his wife miserable.
Fearing that his wife might send out people to beat him up in order to force him to grant the divorce, he thought that by doing this evil thing to his daughter he would be insuring himself. Because, if he was to get critically injured, no one would ever know who the girl was betrothed to and she would remain an aguna forever.
It's hard for me when I hear about violence, threats and intimidations that are carried out in the name of the Jewish religion. It's also hard for me that people think it's a mere anecdote. I'm horrified. When will rabbis stand up and put an end to this disgrace? Why is it so hard for rabbis to say loud and clear: "The betrothal of a daughter by her father is invalid today, because Jewish betrothal must be approved by a rabbi, and the consecration of a daughter by her father is not deemed legitimate by rabbis today."
There's an alternative
The principle, "Whoever betroths intends that the betrothal be with the consent of the rabbis" already appears in the Gemarah. If and when rabbis are finally able to say this, perhaps they will also be able to add: "The betrothal of children under the age of 17 is invalid, because Jewish betrothal should be done with the consent of a rabbi, and the betrothal of minors does not conform to the opinion of today's rabbis."
Similar principles have been set in the Middle Ages when it was stipulated that a betrothal is valid only in the presence of 10 witnesses. To this we can add that the betrothal is valid only with 10 witnesses and a rabbi that was certified by the Chief Rabbinate. Why not? Why shouldn't we strengthen the institution of the Rabbinate? Diminish slightly from the husband's authority in the betrothal and increase the authority of the Rabbinate? Would that also undermine the institution of marriage? Would it be so terrible to narrow the incomprehensible power any male person has to so easily change the status and life of any girl and woman in Israel?
I cry to heaven for the distresses caused here. A child should not have to go through a divorce ceremony and fall into the category of "divorcee" forbidden from marrying a Cohen. In a few years she might join the hundreds of divorced women who live with a Cohen and cannot marry him due to their status.
The boy should not have paid the girl money in order to persuade her to agree to the divorce. This is a disgrace! The rabbinical judges failed to say that there was no case here, and failed to prevent the trade off in the divorce (this time the by lost and the girl benefited.)
But the greatest problem is that of the Torah. Halachic rules, which were once completely relevant, practical and logical (such as the betrothal of a young couple), continue to be implemented in a destructive manner. Where are the spiritual leaders who will assume responsibility for the Torah, and see to it that it continues to be a guide for life, and not tuned into a laughing stock? Trust me, God is weeping not only for these two children, but also for the rabbinical judges and the Torah.
And here is one example for the horrific way in which profit can be made from such a betrothal: Hand out rings to little girls, and in the presence of two older boys say to them: "You are hereby consecrated to me." Then demand money for a divorce. You can do this to as many little girls you like, because the Torah does not limit the number of women.
Just don't forget to have it on videotape, or there might be a girl who will refuse to be blackmailed.
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