Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - New Jersey sees first gay divorce
by Jen Colletta
Although gay marriage is not yet legal in New Jersey, a judge ruled last week that gay divorce is.New Jersey Superior Court Judge Mary C. Jacobson ruled Feb. 6 that a lesbian couple who obtained a marriage license in Canada could receive a legal divorce in New Jersey.
La Kia Hammond and her former partner Kinyati were married in Canada in 2004 and settled in North East, Md. The following year, Hammond discovered that she had a terminal form of muscular dystrophy and was told that she only had two years to live.In 2006, Hammond left Kinyati and moved to New Jersey with her 14-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
Hammond, 33, has since started a relationship with another woman and wants to travel to Canada to marry her.
New Jersey attorneys Lawrence Lustberg and Avidan Cover of Gibbons, P.C., and solo practitioner Stephen Hyland spearheaded the case for the American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey, arguing that the couple should be granted a full legal divorce to prevent any challenges in Hammond obtaining another marriage license from the Canadian government.
Kinyati did not respond to the divorce filings.The state Attorney General’s office argued against the granting of the divorce pursuant to its 2007 order that same-sex marriages performed in other regions be treated as civil unions, which have been legal in New Jersey since 2006, and that the state not recognize marriages from other states or countries that are “an affront” to New Jersey public policy.Jacobson, however, found that awarding an actual divorce, rather than the dissolution of a civil union, was the most appropriate method based on New Jersey law.
“To grant the divorce here is not against public policy,” Jacobson said in the oral ruling. “It’s consistent with the strong marriage-recognition principles that have been practiced since the 1800s.”Ed Barocas, ACLU-NJ legal director, said the judge’s decision will allow the Hammonds’ separation to be a true legal process that should be recognized by the Canadian government.
“The decisions of New Jersey courts don’t happen in a vacuum,” Barocas said. “If they only called this the dissolution of a civil union, then beyond the four corners of New Jersey it would have been unclear whether that relationship was terminated or not. The only way to ensure that the relationship was fully terminated was to have an actual divorce.”Barocas noted that in the 2006 New Jersey Supreme Court case Lewis v. Harris, the court found that the state could expand its marriage laws to include same-sex couples, which he said demonstrated that same-sex marriage is aligned with the state’s public policy.“Every day our family courts deal with marriages from out of state and the understanding is that we’ll recognize them as long as they’re valid and not an affront to public policy.
La Kia’s marriage was valid and not an affront to our public policy in any way,” he said. “What the court said last week made sense: If you come to New Jersey with a valid marriage, you’re entitled to leave with a divorce, just as if you come to New Jersey with a civil union, then you’re entitled to the dissolution of that civil union.”Jacobson noted that her ruling does not mean the state must recognize legal same-sex marriages, which Hyland noted would be the most equitable procedure for same-sex couples.“This decision is a step in the right direction, but one that never should have had to be made,” said Hyland.
“The Attorney General needlessly created confusion and legal problems for these couples. She should simply recognize out-of-state marriages, the only way to ensure equal treatment for couples married outside of New Jersey.”Following the ruling, Hammond noted the decision will pave the way for her to move on without the complications of further legal proceedings.“While the day a relationship ends is never happy, I am relieved that the courts of New Jersey are allowing us to move on, rather than keeping our relationship status in legal limbo,” Hammond said in a statement. “Breaking up is painful enough, and I’m happy we won’t have to face the hardship of having to fight just to make it official.”
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Our troops need more time between deployments
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Our troops need more time between deployments
Ellen Tauscher
Having fought two wars on two fronts for more than seven years, our troops are tired and our military's equipment is worn out.
The demands of multiple deployments in quick succession have taken a toll on our troops, who suffer on a personal level, experiencing higher rates of suicide, divorce and post-traumatic stress disorder. This has hampered the military's ability to respond to another crisis somewhere else in the world to protect America's interests.
That's why Congress must pass legislation making sure the military services guarantee "dwell time," a period of time to rest and regroup, for our soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines.
Active-duty troops should have at least a month of rest for every month they were deployed in a combat zone. Reservists and National Guardsman should have at least three months of rest for each month of deployment.
The pace of deployments needed to sustain combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has taken a toll on our servicemen and servicewomen, who silently endure emotional fatigue and distress. They have missed their children's births, their parents' funerals and learned of divorces on blogs and Web sites.
Take Douglas Del Campo, a 26-year-old former Air Force military policeman, who is now working at Travis Air Force Base in my congressional district. After four tours of duty in Iraq and rushed rest periods between, Douglas is haunted by nightmares of beheadings. He says he is irritable and always on a heightened sense of security even though the battlefields of Iraq are thousands of miles away.
These are classic symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and, fortunately, Del Campo is seeking treatment at a local Veterans' Administration hospital.
Del Campo and the rest of our men and women in uniform deserve and need more time between deployments to adjust from the intense stress of counter-insurgency warfare, to reconnect with their wives and children, and to pursue educational opportunities and other goals.
The situation today, when more than a third of the 1.7 million troops who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan have been deployed more than once, is as dire as it was after the war in Vietnam when our troops were fatigued, our equipment was worn out, and our military leaders said we had a "hollow Army."
Last year, senior military officials determined that there has been an overall decline in military readiness and there remains a significant risk that the U.S. military might not be able to respond effectively if confronted with a new crisis.
As dangerous as the world can be, we cannot afford to have a "hollow Army."
Congress needs to step in because the military continues to skirt its own rules by shortening dwell time. Today, I am reintroducing a bill to guarantee that troops will have more time to rest and prepare for subsequent deployments.
Some critics have said that such a bill would tie the hands of the military in a crisis, but the bill includes a provision that the president can waive the new law if confronted with a crisis.
It's time to put partisanship and politics aside to do the right thing for our troops.
Rep. Ellen Tauscher, D-Walnut Creek, is the chairman of the Strategic Forces Subcommittee of the House Armed Services Committee.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Ellen Tauscher
Having fought two wars on two fronts for more than seven years, our troops are tired and our military's equipment is worn out.
The demands of multiple deployments in quick succession have taken a toll on our troops, who suffer on a personal level, experiencing higher rates of suicide, divorce and post-traumatic stress disorder. This has hampered the military's ability to respond to another crisis somewhere else in the world to protect America's interests.
That's why Congress must pass legislation making sure the military services guarantee "dwell time," a period of time to rest and regroup, for our soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines.
Active-duty troops should have at least a month of rest for every month they were deployed in a combat zone. Reservists and National Guardsman should have at least three months of rest for each month of deployment.
The pace of deployments needed to sustain combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has taken a toll on our servicemen and servicewomen, who silently endure emotional fatigue and distress. They have missed their children's births, their parents' funerals and learned of divorces on blogs and Web sites.
Take Douglas Del Campo, a 26-year-old former Air Force military policeman, who is now working at Travis Air Force Base in my congressional district. After four tours of duty in Iraq and rushed rest periods between, Douglas is haunted by nightmares of beheadings. He says he is irritable and always on a heightened sense of security even though the battlefields of Iraq are thousands of miles away.
These are classic symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and, fortunately, Del Campo is seeking treatment at a local Veterans' Administration hospital.
Del Campo and the rest of our men and women in uniform deserve and need more time between deployments to adjust from the intense stress of counter-insurgency warfare, to reconnect with their wives and children, and to pursue educational opportunities and other goals.
The situation today, when more than a third of the 1.7 million troops who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan have been deployed more than once, is as dire as it was after the war in Vietnam when our troops were fatigued, our equipment was worn out, and our military leaders said we had a "hollow Army."
Last year, senior military officials determined that there has been an overall decline in military readiness and there remains a significant risk that the U.S. military might not be able to respond effectively if confronted with a new crisis.
As dangerous as the world can be, we cannot afford to have a "hollow Army."
Congress needs to step in because the military continues to skirt its own rules by shortening dwell time. Today, I am reintroducing a bill to guarantee that troops will have more time to rest and prepare for subsequent deployments.
Some critics have said that such a bill would tie the hands of the military in a crisis, but the bill includes a provision that the president can waive the new law if confronted with a crisis.
It's time to put partisanship and politics aside to do the right thing for our troops.
Rep. Ellen Tauscher, D-Walnut Creek, is the chairman of the Strategic Forces Subcommittee of the House Armed Services Committee.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Lessening the pain of divorce
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Lessening the pain of divorce
Divorce can be brutal. The spouses often experience feelings of failure, shame, grief, abandonment, helplessness and turmoil. Children may suffer psychological scarring, which recent studies demonstrate may last the rest of their lives. Yet sometimes divorce is the only solution to an even bigger problem: a truly unworkable marriage. While it is not possible to eliminate all the pain from a divorce, by working consciously and co-operatively the pain can be reduced. However, if you loved someone enough to marry them, you will likely have strong enough feelings to make the end of the marriage painful. By taking responsibility for the process, and agreeing to non-combative ground rules, the damage can be lessened.The key element to a less painful divorce is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not forgetting, excusing, eliminating or in any other way erasing the past. It is instead an accepting and embracing of the past with compassion in order to empower our present and future. Forgiving others, and more importantly ourselves, for our past errors and shortcomings, allows us to stop carrying the burden of guilt, shame, anger, resentment and regret that emerge from trying to change the past. If instead, we are able to accept what happened, and that nothing we do now can change the past, we can shift from seeking to place blame for past mistakes, to learning lessons from them.Forgiveness recognizes that there are people in the world who are untrustworthy or destructive, and that we need to protect ourselves from them. Forgiving the past does not mean they, or us, get to avoid the consequences of our actions. In fact, by taking responsibility for the past we open the door to forgiveness. But by giving forgiveness freely, we are able to hate the sin and not the sinner, even if the sinner continues to offend. If we accept that a person is prone to negative action, we can better protect ourselves from that person. Letting go of the desire for anger and revenge actually allows us to be more effective in dealing with that person. We don’t need to change or fix them, just accept who they are, and deal with them.I assume that all human beings are doing their best at every moment. However deluded, mistaken or psychotic they may be, in their universe they are doing what they think is right with the information currently available to them. It is interesting that when this assumption is presented to groups of people for discussion, that eventually, after going through the usual list of evil-doers (e.g., Hitler, Manson, their parents) virtually all will agree to this, with one exception: themselves. People are sure that they could have done better. Hopefully, if we can forgive and learn from our past action we can do better in the future, but we can never do better in the past.An old Buddhist tale tells of two monks coming to a river crossing where a woman stands afraid to venture into the water. One monk lifts her up, carries her across, and proceeds on his way. On reaching the monastery two hours later, the other monk says, “How could you do that? You know we are prohibited from touching women.” The first monk says, “Yes, I touched her, but I put her down two hours ago. You have been carrying her this whole time.”Divorce is a time when forgiveness is essential, though usually at a premium. Since you did not set out together to finish in divorce, it must be a failure, and therefore somebody must be to blame. If you blame your spouse, you are likely to try to punish them. If you blame yourself, you are likely to make yourself miserable for a long time. The underlying falsehood to both these positions is that divorce represents failure. It merely represents change. A very big, potentially difficult and upsetting change, indeed, but if you’re going through it, it is probably one that was needed. Evaluating what happened, learning from mistakes, telling the truth about what happened – all these are valuable processes towards personal growth and healthier relationships in the future. Punishing yourself, your ex-spouse, or your children with trying to assign blame will produce no value to anyone. Humans learn through trial and error. It’s the only way we can. Forgive yourself for being humanThis Friday on the radio, I will be speaking to a lawyer, a financial specialist and a life coach from the Collaborative Practice Center in Santa Rosa. This center is devoted to finding co-operative ways for people to resolve civil disputes, such as divorce.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Divorce can be brutal. The spouses often experience feelings of failure, shame, grief, abandonment, helplessness and turmoil. Children may suffer psychological scarring, which recent studies demonstrate may last the rest of their lives. Yet sometimes divorce is the only solution to an even bigger problem: a truly unworkable marriage. While it is not possible to eliminate all the pain from a divorce, by working consciously and co-operatively the pain can be reduced. However, if you loved someone enough to marry them, you will likely have strong enough feelings to make the end of the marriage painful. By taking responsibility for the process, and agreeing to non-combative ground rules, the damage can be lessened.The key element to a less painful divorce is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not forgetting, excusing, eliminating or in any other way erasing the past. It is instead an accepting and embracing of the past with compassion in order to empower our present and future. Forgiving others, and more importantly ourselves, for our past errors and shortcomings, allows us to stop carrying the burden of guilt, shame, anger, resentment and regret that emerge from trying to change the past. If instead, we are able to accept what happened, and that nothing we do now can change the past, we can shift from seeking to place blame for past mistakes, to learning lessons from them.Forgiveness recognizes that there are people in the world who are untrustworthy or destructive, and that we need to protect ourselves from them. Forgiving the past does not mean they, or us, get to avoid the consequences of our actions. In fact, by taking responsibility for the past we open the door to forgiveness. But by giving forgiveness freely, we are able to hate the sin and not the sinner, even if the sinner continues to offend. If we accept that a person is prone to negative action, we can better protect ourselves from that person. Letting go of the desire for anger and revenge actually allows us to be more effective in dealing with that person. We don’t need to change or fix them, just accept who they are, and deal with them.I assume that all human beings are doing their best at every moment. However deluded, mistaken or psychotic they may be, in their universe they are doing what they think is right with the information currently available to them. It is interesting that when this assumption is presented to groups of people for discussion, that eventually, after going through the usual list of evil-doers (e.g., Hitler, Manson, their parents) virtually all will agree to this, with one exception: themselves. People are sure that they could have done better. Hopefully, if we can forgive and learn from our past action we can do better in the future, but we can never do better in the past.An old Buddhist tale tells of two monks coming to a river crossing where a woman stands afraid to venture into the water. One monk lifts her up, carries her across, and proceeds on his way. On reaching the monastery two hours later, the other monk says, “How could you do that? You know we are prohibited from touching women.” The first monk says, “Yes, I touched her, but I put her down two hours ago. You have been carrying her this whole time.”Divorce is a time when forgiveness is essential, though usually at a premium. Since you did not set out together to finish in divorce, it must be a failure, and therefore somebody must be to blame. If you blame your spouse, you are likely to try to punish them. If you blame yourself, you are likely to make yourself miserable for a long time. The underlying falsehood to both these positions is that divorce represents failure. It merely represents change. A very big, potentially difficult and upsetting change, indeed, but if you’re going through it, it is probably one that was needed. Evaluating what happened, learning from mistakes, telling the truth about what happened – all these are valuable processes towards personal growth and healthier relationships in the future. Punishing yourself, your ex-spouse, or your children with trying to assign blame will produce no value to anyone. Humans learn through trial and error. It’s the only way we can. Forgive yourself for being humanThis Friday on the radio, I will be speaking to a lawyer, a financial specialist and a life coach from the Collaborative Practice Center in Santa Rosa. This center is devoted to finding co-operative ways for people to resolve civil disputes, such as divorce.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Lawyer - Dash to renegotiate divorce pay-outs
Augusta Military Divorce Lawyer - Dash to renegotiate divorce pay-outs
By Megan Murphy, Law Courts Correspondent
City workers once used to multi-million-pound pay packets are rushing to re-negotiate divorce settlements they can no longer afford, family lawyers say.
Solicitors specialising in "big money'' break-ups report a surge in requests to slash maintenance awards for spouses as bankers and traders come to grips with the reality of sharply curtailed income and bonuses.
Julian Lipson, head of family law at Withers LLP in London, told the Financial Times that once-rare settlement variation applications had become a "significant part'' of the firm's practice in recent months.
"People are not doing this to to be malicious; they're doing it because they have no choice in the economic climate,'' Mr Lipson said.
Divorce settlements reached in the UK are widely thought of as some of the most generous in the world, generally providing for a split of all marital assets as well as annual maintenance payments, school fees and other financial contributions.
Even in straightforward cases, those payments can quickly run into the millions. Sandra Sorrell, for example, the former wife of Sir Martin Sorrell, the advertising chief, was awarded £30m when the couple divorced in 2005, including two underground parking spots at Harrods, the London department store.
Bonuses, distributed by banks and financial services institutions just once a year, have long been a contentious issue between separating spouses.
Divorce lawyers say even during boom times, a common strategy among highly paid professionals was to emphasise the "discretionary'' nature of the awards - and the potential impact of a bad year - to try to drive a cheaper settlement.
In the current climate, with banks including Barclays, Deutsche Bank and UBS announcing steep pay and bonus cuts amid mounting anger over remuneration practices, the strategy really is working, said Pauline Fowler, a solicitor at Hughes Fowler Carruthers.
Family courts will generally assess an individual's income stream over three to four years when determining a maintenance order, to take account of peaks and valleys. In a handful of recent cases, individuals have been awarded a fixed percentage of spouse's current and future bonus awards. Those settlements will automatically adjust to a lower one-off payment this bonus season, experts say.
In most cases, however, executives who have regularly taken home multi-million-pound remuneration will need to apply formally to vary their settlements in view of changed circumstances, a process that can take as long as nine months.
While most couples recognise the severity of the financial crisis, and the need to be flexible when renegotiating, the potential time gap is forcing "credit-crunched'' spouses to file their applications now rather than later, lawyers said.
Ms Fowler said some of her clients were postponing any long-term agreement on maintenance until the economy picked up, hoping to have a better picture of their financesin the next year or so.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
By Megan Murphy, Law Courts Correspondent
City workers once used to multi-million-pound pay packets are rushing to re-negotiate divorce settlements they can no longer afford, family lawyers say.
Solicitors specialising in "big money'' break-ups report a surge in requests to slash maintenance awards for spouses as bankers and traders come to grips with the reality of sharply curtailed income and bonuses.
Julian Lipson, head of family law at Withers LLP in London, told the Financial Times that once-rare settlement variation applications had become a "significant part'' of the firm's practice in recent months.
"People are not doing this to to be malicious; they're doing it because they have no choice in the economic climate,'' Mr Lipson said.
Divorce settlements reached in the UK are widely thought of as some of the most generous in the world, generally providing for a split of all marital assets as well as annual maintenance payments, school fees and other financial contributions.
Even in straightforward cases, those payments can quickly run into the millions. Sandra Sorrell, for example, the former wife of Sir Martin Sorrell, the advertising chief, was awarded £30m when the couple divorced in 2005, including two underground parking spots at Harrods, the London department store.
Bonuses, distributed by banks and financial services institutions just once a year, have long been a contentious issue between separating spouses.
Divorce lawyers say even during boom times, a common strategy among highly paid professionals was to emphasise the "discretionary'' nature of the awards - and the potential impact of a bad year - to try to drive a cheaper settlement.
In the current climate, with banks including Barclays, Deutsche Bank and UBS announcing steep pay and bonus cuts amid mounting anger over remuneration practices, the strategy really is working, said Pauline Fowler, a solicitor at Hughes Fowler Carruthers.
Family courts will generally assess an individual's income stream over three to four years when determining a maintenance order, to take account of peaks and valleys. In a handful of recent cases, individuals have been awarded a fixed percentage of spouse's current and future bonus awards. Those settlements will automatically adjust to a lower one-off payment this bonus season, experts say.
In most cases, however, executives who have regularly taken home multi-million-pound remuneration will need to apply formally to vary their settlements in view of changed circumstances, a process that can take as long as nine months.
While most couples recognise the severity of the financial crisis, and the need to be flexible when renegotiating, the potential time gap is forcing "credit-crunched'' spouses to file their applications now rather than later, lawyers said.
Ms Fowler said some of her clients were postponing any long-term agreement on maintenance until the economy picked up, hoping to have a better picture of their financesin the next year or so.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Gates: Obama to decide on Afghanistan troops in 'days'
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Gates: Obama to decide on Afghanistan troops in 'days'
Defense secretary says president will wait for review of operations
Thousands of Marines, Special Forces could go to southern Afghanistan soon
"I think that there is a realization that some decisions have to be made," Gates says
Gates addresses report showing dramatic rise in Army suicides
From Ed Hornick - CNN
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Barack Obama will likely make a decision on sending additional troops to Afghanistan "in the course of the next few days," Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Tuesday.
"I think that there is a realization that some decisions have to be made ... before the strategic review is completed," Gates said at a news conference. "He has several options in front of him."
Gates, one of three Republicans appointed to Obama's Cabinet, said the administration will wait until a strategic review of military operations is complete to make decisions on "the strategies going forward."
"I worry a lot about the foreign military footprint in Afghanistan. ... I think and I hope that the strategic review that is under way will sort of point a path forward in terms of what we think the right number, the right size of the foreign military presence in Afghanistan should be," Gates added.
On Sunday, two senior Pentagon officials said decisions about withdrawing troops from Iraq and sending more troops to Afghanstan have been delayed until the Pentagon provides Obama with more detail about the risks and implications of the issues confronting him.
Both officials, who asked not to be named because of the sensitivity of the issue, have a direct understanding of the discussion regarding troop withdrawals. They said that the military is not worried about the delays but that there is concern about the deteriorating levels of security in Afghanistan.
It is believed that thousands of ground combat Marines, a marine aviation unit and Army Special Forces could be sent to southern Afghanistan in the weeks ahead. The officials also confirmed that the Pentagon and U.S. Central Command are working on three Iraq combat troop withdrawal options for the president: 16 months, 19 months and 23 months.
Given the current security situation in Iraq, the U.S. can probably reduce troop level from 14 brigades to 12 by the end of the year, the officials said.
Also Tuesday, the defense secretary addressed a newly released Pentagon report showing Army suicides dramatically up this year.
The Army reported that 24 soldiers are believed to have committed suicide in January alone, six times as many as killed themselves in January 2008, according to statistics released Thursday.
The Army said it has confirmed seven suicides, with 17 cases pending that it believes investigators will confirm as suicides for January.
If those prove true, more soldiers will have killed themselves than died in combat last month. According to Pentagon statistics, there were 16 U.S. combat deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq in January.
"This is terrifying," an Army official said. "We do not know what is going on."
Gates said the military has put a lot of effort into helping troops and their families and said the strain of long deployments is causing much of the stress.
"I think part of the problem in terms of the strains ... whether it's divorce rates or suicides, I would say. ... These are manifestations also of repeated tours," Gates said. "It's not just the length of the tour but the fact that so many have gone back for two or three, even four rotations in Iraq and Afghanistan. I think it's a combination of all those things."
Joint Chiefs of Staff Vice Chairman Gen. James Cartwright, also at the news conference, said the suicide and divorce rates would come down as the tours are reduced.
"That's another benchmark we've got to cross before we can expect to see some of these rates start to move in a positive vector. But I think the bigger issue here is the cumulative effect," he said. "We've got work to do. ... We're watching this very closely."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Defense secretary says president will wait for review of operations
Thousands of Marines, Special Forces could go to southern Afghanistan soon
"I think that there is a realization that some decisions have to be made," Gates says
Gates addresses report showing dramatic rise in Army suicides
From Ed Hornick - CNN
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Barack Obama will likely make a decision on sending additional troops to Afghanistan "in the course of the next few days," Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Tuesday.
"I think that there is a realization that some decisions have to be made ... before the strategic review is completed," Gates said at a news conference. "He has several options in front of him."
Gates, one of three Republicans appointed to Obama's Cabinet, said the administration will wait until a strategic review of military operations is complete to make decisions on "the strategies going forward."
"I worry a lot about the foreign military footprint in Afghanistan. ... I think and I hope that the strategic review that is under way will sort of point a path forward in terms of what we think the right number, the right size of the foreign military presence in Afghanistan should be," Gates added.
On Sunday, two senior Pentagon officials said decisions about withdrawing troops from Iraq and sending more troops to Afghanstan have been delayed until the Pentagon provides Obama with more detail about the risks and implications of the issues confronting him.
Both officials, who asked not to be named because of the sensitivity of the issue, have a direct understanding of the discussion regarding troop withdrawals. They said that the military is not worried about the delays but that there is concern about the deteriorating levels of security in Afghanistan.
It is believed that thousands of ground combat Marines, a marine aviation unit and Army Special Forces could be sent to southern Afghanistan in the weeks ahead. The officials also confirmed that the Pentagon and U.S. Central Command are working on three Iraq combat troop withdrawal options for the president: 16 months, 19 months and 23 months.
Given the current security situation in Iraq, the U.S. can probably reduce troop level from 14 brigades to 12 by the end of the year, the officials said.
Also Tuesday, the defense secretary addressed a newly released Pentagon report showing Army suicides dramatically up this year.
The Army reported that 24 soldiers are believed to have committed suicide in January alone, six times as many as killed themselves in January 2008, according to statistics released Thursday.
The Army said it has confirmed seven suicides, with 17 cases pending that it believes investigators will confirm as suicides for January.
If those prove true, more soldiers will have killed themselves than died in combat last month. According to Pentagon statistics, there were 16 U.S. combat deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq in January.
"This is terrifying," an Army official said. "We do not know what is going on."
Gates said the military has put a lot of effort into helping troops and their families and said the strain of long deployments is causing much of the stress.
"I think part of the problem in terms of the strains ... whether it's divorce rates or suicides, I would say. ... These are manifestations also of repeated tours," Gates said. "It's not just the length of the tour but the fact that so many have gone back for two or three, even four rotations in Iraq and Afghanistan. I think it's a combination of all those things."
Joint Chiefs of Staff Vice Chairman Gen. James Cartwright, also at the news conference, said the suicide and divorce rates would come down as the tours are reduced.
"That's another benchmark we've got to cross before we can expect to see some of these rates start to move in a positive vector. But I think the bigger issue here is the cumulative effect," he said. "We've got work to do. ... We're watching this very closely."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Octuplet Mom Divorce Papers
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Octuplet Mom Divorce Papers
Today Show
"Extra" has obtained the divorce papers of Nadya Suleman, the single California mom who recently gave birth to octuplets, adding to her brood of six.
According to the court docs, Nadya, 33, and her husband separated in 2000, but the divorce wasn't final until January 2008. The couple cited irreconcilable differences as the reason behind their split. Suleman's ex-husband also gave up any right to alimony from Nadya, as stated in the documents.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Today Show
"Extra" has obtained the divorce papers of Nadya Suleman, the single California mom who recently gave birth to octuplets, adding to her brood of six.
According to the court docs, Nadya, 33, and her husband separated in 2000, but the divorce wasn't final until January 2008. The couple cited irreconcilable differences as the reason behind their split. Suleman's ex-husband also gave up any right to alimony from Nadya, as stated in the documents.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Madoff Investor Sues Ex Wife Over Divorce
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Madoff Investor Sues Ex Wife Over Divorce
by Mike Ferrara
A New York lawyer who had invested millions of dollars with Ponzi czar Bernard Madoff filed suit in the New York Supreme Court against his ex-wife last week for the return of a portion of their divorce settlement, on the grounds that much of the money she took never actually existed.
According to a Maddoff Investment Securities statement, when Steven Simkin and Laura Blank separated in 2004 after 30 years of marriage, they shared a Madoff account worth $5.4 million. As part of the uncontested divorce settlement, Simkin’s wife took half.
"Unknown to Steven and Laura, the 'account,' whose valuation was critical to the parties' agreement, was a sham and fiction," the lawsuit said.
"Laura obtained a windfall and Steven did not receive an equitable share of the couple's joint assets ... It is only fair and equitable for Laura to shoulder some of that harm." –Reuters.
Because the divorce settlement allowed Blank to avoid the financial devastation that hit Simkin when Madoff’s Ponzi scheme came to light, Simkin is asking that the settlement be re-negotiated based on the former couple’s actual worth.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
by Mike Ferrara
A New York lawyer who had invested millions of dollars with Ponzi czar Bernard Madoff filed suit in the New York Supreme Court against his ex-wife last week for the return of a portion of their divorce settlement, on the grounds that much of the money she took never actually existed.
According to a Maddoff Investment Securities statement, when Steven Simkin and Laura Blank separated in 2004 after 30 years of marriage, they shared a Madoff account worth $5.4 million. As part of the uncontested divorce settlement, Simkin’s wife took half.
"Unknown to Steven and Laura, the 'account,' whose valuation was critical to the parties' agreement, was a sham and fiction," the lawsuit said.
"Laura obtained a windfall and Steven did not receive an equitable share of the couple's joint assets ... It is only fair and equitable for Laura to shoulder some of that harm." –Reuters.
Because the divorce settlement allowed Blank to avoid the financial devastation that hit Simkin when Madoff’s Ponzi scheme came to light, Simkin is asking that the settlement be re-negotiated based on the former couple’s actual worth.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Another ugly twist in kidney divorce case
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Another ugly twist in kidney divorce case
Ex-girlfriend of doctor who donated organ claims abuse in affidavit
BY CHAU LAM - Newsday.com
The divorce case of a Nassau surgeon suing his estranged wife over the kidney he donated to save her life when they were married has gotten even uglier.
Pamela Rathburn-Ray, a former girlfriend of the doctor, Richard Batista, said in an affidavit that he used to threaten her and beat her up during their three-year-long relationship in the mid-1980s."During our relationship, [Batista] expressed and demonstrated to me his extreme jealousy and paranoid suspicion of me," Rathburn-Ray, a nurse, said in an affidavit made public Monday. "He threatened me with bodily harm if he ever concluded that I had cheated on him."
It was unclear if the affidavit was filed with State Supreme Court in Mineola.Rathburn-Ray has hired an attorney, John Ray of Miller Place, in part, because she said she is worried Batista and his attorney will harass her when she testifies in court.
Batista's attorney, Dominic Barbara, of Garden City, did not return calls for comment.
Batista, a vascular surgeon at Nassau County University Medical Center, is demanding $1.5 million for the kidney he donated to his estranged wife as part of their divorce settlement.
Dawnell Batista's attorney had said she filed for divorce due to unspecified "violent conduct of her husband."At the request of Dawnell Batista's attorney, a Nassau judge has ordered Rathburn-Ray, 48, to come to court on Feb. 26 to testify at the Batistas' divorce trial.
Rathburn-Ray, now a single mother, said in the affidavit that while she and Dr. Batista were vacationing in Puerto Rico in the 1980s, a man had made a pass at her and Batista accused her of behaving provocatively to invite the young man's attention."He hit me and slapped me repeatedly on this occasion," Rathburn-Ray said in the affidavit.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Ex-girlfriend of doctor who donated organ claims abuse in affidavit
BY CHAU LAM - Newsday.com
The divorce case of a Nassau surgeon suing his estranged wife over the kidney he donated to save her life when they were married has gotten even uglier.
Pamela Rathburn-Ray, a former girlfriend of the doctor, Richard Batista, said in an affidavit that he used to threaten her and beat her up during their three-year-long relationship in the mid-1980s."During our relationship, [Batista] expressed and demonstrated to me his extreme jealousy and paranoid suspicion of me," Rathburn-Ray, a nurse, said in an affidavit made public Monday. "He threatened me with bodily harm if he ever concluded that I had cheated on him."
It was unclear if the affidavit was filed with State Supreme Court in Mineola.Rathburn-Ray has hired an attorney, John Ray of Miller Place, in part, because she said she is worried Batista and his attorney will harass her when she testifies in court.
Batista's attorney, Dominic Barbara, of Garden City, did not return calls for comment.
Batista, a vascular surgeon at Nassau County University Medical Center, is demanding $1.5 million for the kidney he donated to his estranged wife as part of their divorce settlement.
Dawnell Batista's attorney had said she filed for divorce due to unspecified "violent conduct of her husband."At the request of Dawnell Batista's attorney, a Nassau judge has ordered Rathburn-Ray, 48, to come to court on Feb. 26 to testify at the Batistas' divorce trial.
Rathburn-Ray, now a single mother, said in the affidavit that while she and Dr. Batista were vacationing in Puerto Rico in the 1980s, a man had made a pass at her and Batista accused her of behaving provocatively to invite the young man's attention."He hit me and slapped me repeatedly on this occasion," Rathburn-Ray said in the affidavit.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - All Hail Divorce and Out-of-Wedlock Births
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - All Hail Divorce and Out-of-Wedlock Births
Posted by Karen DeCoster
This is why the extreme left is so dangerous. Some loon claims that divorce and out-of-wedlock births represent the triumph of human rights over patriarchy.
A leader in the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) has declared that the breakdown of traditional families, far from being a “crisis,” is actually a triumph for human rights.
.."In the eyes of conservative forces, these changes mean that the family is in crisis," he said. "In crisis? More than a crisis, we are in the presence of a weakening of the patriarchal structure, as a result of the disappearance of the economic base that sustains it and because of the rise of new values centered in the recognition of fundamental human rights."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Posted by Karen DeCoster
This is why the extreme left is so dangerous. Some loon claims that divorce and out-of-wedlock births represent the triumph of human rights over patriarchy.
A leader in the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) has declared that the breakdown of traditional families, far from being a “crisis,” is actually a triumph for human rights.
.."In the eyes of conservative forces, these changes mean that the family is in crisis," he said. "In crisis? More than a crisis, we are in the presence of a weakening of the patriarchal structure, as a result of the disappearance of the economic base that sustains it and because of the rise of new values centered in the recognition of fundamental human rights."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Kids bear scars of bitter divorce battles
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Kids bear scars of bitter divorce battles
The Star
It is a relief to read of Judge Harvey Brownstone and his attempts to bring greater peace into family divorce issues. As a child of the 1960's divorce wave, who is now a teacher, orphanage volunteer and child advocate, I can attest to the often unconscious damage wrought upon children who get caught in bitter divorce battles and litigation.
As an adult, I have great compassion for the whole difficult situation. I don't suggest that parents stay together for the sake of the children. I do, however, earnestly urge parents to forge a new way, accept full personal responsibility for mistakes and unmet expectations, and take the help that's offered.
Children who get caught in adult conflicts, directly or indirectly, often don't have the skills or nervous system stability to handle conflict as adults. They seek a childhood again, and have trouble accepting responsibility. The collateral social costs can be huge, not to mention the potential years of counselling that many divorced children endure to try to sort out the battle that they absorbed inside of themselves as children or early teens.
Parents must complete a marriage experience together and move on without residues of blame or dehumanization. The soil in which we set our children's feet affects the garden they nurture themselves from in adult life.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
The Star
It is a relief to read of Judge Harvey Brownstone and his attempts to bring greater peace into family divorce issues. As a child of the 1960's divorce wave, who is now a teacher, orphanage volunteer and child advocate, I can attest to the often unconscious damage wrought upon children who get caught in bitter divorce battles and litigation.
As an adult, I have great compassion for the whole difficult situation. I don't suggest that parents stay together for the sake of the children. I do, however, earnestly urge parents to forge a new way, accept full personal responsibility for mistakes and unmet expectations, and take the help that's offered.
Children who get caught in adult conflicts, directly or indirectly, often don't have the skills or nervous system stability to handle conflict as adults. They seek a childhood again, and have trouble accepting responsibility. The collateral social costs can be huge, not to mention the potential years of counselling that many divorced children endure to try to sort out the battle that they absorbed inside of themselves as children or early teens.
Parents must complete a marriage experience together and move on without residues of blame or dehumanization. The soil in which we set our children's feet affects the garden they nurture themselves from in adult life.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - After divorce, wedding rings go on the market
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - After divorce, wedding rings go on the market
BY JENNIFER BROOKS - THE TENNESSEAN
"Baby on the way must go asap," reads an ad on the Nashville, Tenn., Craigslist.com site, offering up a 2-carat diamond wedding ring set that the owner had been using as a cocktail ring.
"A divorce for me ... means cheap jewelry for you," another ad promises, offering up a wedding ring set for $700.
In this economy, the sentimental value of a ring has to be weighed against the very real-world value of diamonds and gold that's selling for more than $900 a troy ounce.
Beyond the brisk online ring trade, business is booming at consignment shops, gold dealers and pawnshops, too.
Short on cash or looking for a bit of extra security, people have flocked to Nashville Coin & Currency in Brentwood, Tenn., with old wedding bands in hand. Sometimes they're unwanted reminders of a marriage gone bad; sometimes they're unused family heirlooms. Sometimes, heartbreakingly, they're cherished rings offered up by people desperate for money.
"I've seen some who had to sell (a wedding ring) to pay the light bill, but that's not the predominant thing," said Nashville Coin & Currency owner Mike Mouret, whose business is tucked discreetly into a bland building in an office park -- anonymous camouflage for affluent customers looking to sell their jewelry.
One recent day, Mouret said, he had three divorced women in his waiting room, all looking to sell wedding rings, laughing and comparing settings.
Unlike consignment shops or pawnshops, Mouret has no interest in reselling the rings he buys. He's purely interested in the precious metals -- and, as would-be sellers learn, there's not that much gold in a wedding band.
The real value of a wedding or engagement ring is in the diamond, and that's where shops like Nashville Diamond Bankers come in. The bigger and brighter the diamond, the better. The shop's display shelves glitter with Rolex watches, estate jewelry and a dazzling selection of someone else's wedding and engagement rings.
"People hate to sell Grandma's wedding ring, but they don't mind selling their mother-in-law's," said owner Rick Moore, who is doing a lot of business these days with out-of-work contractors and affluent families who need extra cash for their kid who enrolled in that Ivy League school.
"If you've got a kid in college and tuition's due, it's much better to sell a piece of jewelry than try to sell off some stock," Moore said. "You can always buy another piece."
On the Craigslist wedding ring page, Kathryn Snell has no qualms about offering her $13,000, 2-carat platinum wedding ring set to anyone willing to meet her $6,000 asking price.
"I'm simply a woman who had a very short-lived marriage and prefers this gorgeous ring on someone who will enjoy it, rather than let it sit in a jewelry box unused," she wrote in her detailed ad.
So far, the ad hasn't brought any offers, but she's in no hurry. She's in a new relationship now, and the ring was just a last little reminder of an unhappy chapter in her life.
"Right now, as we all know, the economy isn't doing very well," she said. "It's better to sell it than just leave it sitting in a drawer."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
BY JENNIFER BROOKS - THE TENNESSEAN
"Baby on the way must go asap," reads an ad on the Nashville, Tenn., Craigslist.com site, offering up a 2-carat diamond wedding ring set that the owner had been using as a cocktail ring.
"A divorce for me ... means cheap jewelry for you," another ad promises, offering up a wedding ring set for $700.
In this economy, the sentimental value of a ring has to be weighed against the very real-world value of diamonds and gold that's selling for more than $900 a troy ounce.
Beyond the brisk online ring trade, business is booming at consignment shops, gold dealers and pawnshops, too.
Short on cash or looking for a bit of extra security, people have flocked to Nashville Coin & Currency in Brentwood, Tenn., with old wedding bands in hand. Sometimes they're unwanted reminders of a marriage gone bad; sometimes they're unused family heirlooms. Sometimes, heartbreakingly, they're cherished rings offered up by people desperate for money.
"I've seen some who had to sell (a wedding ring) to pay the light bill, but that's not the predominant thing," said Nashville Coin & Currency owner Mike Mouret, whose business is tucked discreetly into a bland building in an office park -- anonymous camouflage for affluent customers looking to sell their jewelry.
One recent day, Mouret said, he had three divorced women in his waiting room, all looking to sell wedding rings, laughing and comparing settings.
Unlike consignment shops or pawnshops, Mouret has no interest in reselling the rings he buys. He's purely interested in the precious metals -- and, as would-be sellers learn, there's not that much gold in a wedding band.
The real value of a wedding or engagement ring is in the diamond, and that's where shops like Nashville Diamond Bankers come in. The bigger and brighter the diamond, the better. The shop's display shelves glitter with Rolex watches, estate jewelry and a dazzling selection of someone else's wedding and engagement rings.
"People hate to sell Grandma's wedding ring, but they don't mind selling their mother-in-law's," said owner Rick Moore, who is doing a lot of business these days with out-of-work contractors and affluent families who need extra cash for their kid who enrolled in that Ivy League school.
"If you've got a kid in college and tuition's due, it's much better to sell a piece of jewelry than try to sell off some stock," Moore said. "You can always buy another piece."
On the Craigslist wedding ring page, Kathryn Snell has no qualms about offering her $13,000, 2-carat platinum wedding ring set to anyone willing to meet her $6,000 asking price.
"I'm simply a woman who had a very short-lived marriage and prefers this gorgeous ring on someone who will enjoy it, rather than let it sit in a jewelry box unused," she wrote in her detailed ad.
So far, the ad hasn't brought any offers, but she's in no hurry. She's in a new relationship now, and the ring was just a last little reminder of an unhappy chapter in her life.
"Right now, as we all know, the economy isn't doing very well," she said. "It's better to sell it than just leave it sitting in a drawer."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Spoils of divorce found on real estate market
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Spoils of divorce found on real estate market
Joanne Latimer - Canwest News Service
Happy couples move up, and unhappy couples move out, realtors say.
Divorce may be a personal tragedy, but it was the best thing that happened to real estate.
"It's rare to find couples who stay in the original marital home for 30 years anymore," says seasoned realtor Pamela Cyr, my agent and trusted confidante. "Happy couples move up and unhappy couples move out."
After 25 years in the business, Cyr has seen affairs of the heart create unexpected opportunities in real estate.
The stress of acting civilized in front of house guests creates a perfect storm for bad marriages. All hell breaks lose after Christmas, notes well-known Montreal divorce lawyer Andrew Heft.
"Starting around Jan. 5, we get a lot of calls. It happens every year. The holidays are like a pressure cooker. When they're over, the lid blows off. That's when the assets, like the house, become an issue."
The love-torn nature of real estate was abstract to me until I bought my first home with my (first) husband. We found a starter condo for sale and made a bid.
Tossing and turning in bed that night, I disturbed my husband by reviewing the moral aspects of the situation: We knew the seller had fallen madly in love and bought an expensive home, so his motivation to sell was high. We knew he couldn't afford to carry two mortgages. Was it wrong to take advantage of the situation with a lowball offer?
Not according to the seller. Philippe Daviet, known as the vendor in these transactions, was thrilled to unload his first house--even at $44,000 less than the original asking price.
"I had to mortgage the first house to make the down payment on the bigger home. That left me with $50 in my pocket each week, for three months. I was so relieved to sell!"
Guilt fully assuaged, I slept soundly. Cynthia Taylor has a different perspective on low real estate offers. The sale of her home in east-end Ottawa wasn't so joyous. "I got hosed," declares the marketing consultant.
"I got hosed because I was divorcing. We should have fought for the full value of our house, but there was no working 'we' at that time and our agent was double-ending in a questionable fashion. We found out a few years later that our agent told the buyers that we didn't do any of the upgrades in the home, so we didn't get a dime over our original buying price, after living there five years."
Taylor and her ex-husband wanted $10,000 more, but they also wanted closure on the relationship.
"To hold out for a better counter offer, you need a capacity to play hard-ball at a time when you're emotionally bruised," she says. "Holding out for a better offer means more contact with your ex. We didn't have an ugly divorce, which is why I'm letting you print my last name, but we both just wanted out."
The house in question was unoccupied at the time of the sale. Both Taylor and her ex-husband were living elsewhere, outside Ottawa, occasionally using the home as a pied-a-terre.
"That's the worst thing you can do. Buyers and their agents smell the vulnerability," says Taylor.
"The house needs to look like a loving, happy environment. There need to be clothes in the closets and mail on the table," says Edmonton-based realtor and blogger Sheldon Johnson.
"Nothing says 'make me a lower offer' more than photos with some of the faces cut out. Nothing screams 'divorce' more than lawn chairs in the kitchen and a mid-life crisis car in the driveway."
Putting on a brave face can save you thousands of dollars. If sellers are coached properly, Johnson claims, they won't get low offers because their homes will be properly staged (Observe all those shows on HGTV). Nancy, 47, isn't giving buyers the chance. This Montreal-based scriptwriter who didn't want her last name used, is embroiled in a two-and-a-half-year legal battle with her ex-boyfriend over the value of their home. The real estate market is so precarious right now that she's afraid to put the house up for sale. Instead, she's trying to buy out her ex.
"It's no accident that my marriage broke down during a kitchen renovation," says Nancy. "Our emotional problems are embedded in the house. Renovations test a couple's communication and we didn't survive. I knew he didn't want the new kitchen, but he OK'd the renovations to hide his affair. Instead of a new kitchen, he really wanted a sports car instead. I should've seen the red flag!"
Heartache can play havoc with people's decision-making abilities.
D. M., an editor at a film titling company, was so eager to split with his ex-girlfriend that he abandoned his stake in their home out of guilt for ending the relationship.
"I wasn't being magnanimous," says D. M., who wanted to conceal his full name to spare his ex's feelings. "For me, the house represented misery. We bought a cheap place at the dilapidated end of Dalhousie (in Ottawa's downtown) for $165,000, but there was a $1,500 emergency every month and I got laid off my job. We were there for two years, but I felt worse and worse about being in the house with her. When I finally announced I was leaving, she offered to return my part of the down payment, but I just wanted out. I gave her the washer and dryer, too."
Would he buy again?
"In a heartbeat--with the right girl and enough cash," says D. M.
There it is again--that love cycle. The cupid factor is equally strong when it comes to shaking up the real estate market.
"Love is one of the top reasons people buy real estate and marriage is a fantastic excuse to spend money on a home," says Montreal realtor and HGTV personality Tatiana Londono.
"But love is just as dangerous as divorce. It can cloud people's judgment just as much," says Londono.
"When people are in love and emotionally attached to the idea of buying a home and starting a life together, they will often want to buy something overpriced that they can't afford. Or they'll want to buy beside a railway track or something too small or in a crappy neighbourhood. They need to be gently coaxed into acting rationally."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Joanne Latimer - Canwest News Service
Happy couples move up, and unhappy couples move out, realtors say.
Divorce may be a personal tragedy, but it was the best thing that happened to real estate.
"It's rare to find couples who stay in the original marital home for 30 years anymore," says seasoned realtor Pamela Cyr, my agent and trusted confidante. "Happy couples move up and unhappy couples move out."
After 25 years in the business, Cyr has seen affairs of the heart create unexpected opportunities in real estate.
The stress of acting civilized in front of house guests creates a perfect storm for bad marriages. All hell breaks lose after Christmas, notes well-known Montreal divorce lawyer Andrew Heft.
"Starting around Jan. 5, we get a lot of calls. It happens every year. The holidays are like a pressure cooker. When they're over, the lid blows off. That's when the assets, like the house, become an issue."
The love-torn nature of real estate was abstract to me until I bought my first home with my (first) husband. We found a starter condo for sale and made a bid.
Tossing and turning in bed that night, I disturbed my husband by reviewing the moral aspects of the situation: We knew the seller had fallen madly in love and bought an expensive home, so his motivation to sell was high. We knew he couldn't afford to carry two mortgages. Was it wrong to take advantage of the situation with a lowball offer?
Not according to the seller. Philippe Daviet, known as the vendor in these transactions, was thrilled to unload his first house--even at $44,000 less than the original asking price.
"I had to mortgage the first house to make the down payment on the bigger home. That left me with $50 in my pocket each week, for three months. I was so relieved to sell!"
Guilt fully assuaged, I slept soundly. Cynthia Taylor has a different perspective on low real estate offers. The sale of her home in east-end Ottawa wasn't so joyous. "I got hosed," declares the marketing consultant.
"I got hosed because I was divorcing. We should have fought for the full value of our house, but there was no working 'we' at that time and our agent was double-ending in a questionable fashion. We found out a few years later that our agent told the buyers that we didn't do any of the upgrades in the home, so we didn't get a dime over our original buying price, after living there five years."
Taylor and her ex-husband wanted $10,000 more, but they also wanted closure on the relationship.
"To hold out for a better counter offer, you need a capacity to play hard-ball at a time when you're emotionally bruised," she says. "Holding out for a better offer means more contact with your ex. We didn't have an ugly divorce, which is why I'm letting you print my last name, but we both just wanted out."
The house in question was unoccupied at the time of the sale. Both Taylor and her ex-husband were living elsewhere, outside Ottawa, occasionally using the home as a pied-a-terre.
"That's the worst thing you can do. Buyers and their agents smell the vulnerability," says Taylor.
"The house needs to look like a loving, happy environment. There need to be clothes in the closets and mail on the table," says Edmonton-based realtor and blogger Sheldon Johnson.
"Nothing says 'make me a lower offer' more than photos with some of the faces cut out. Nothing screams 'divorce' more than lawn chairs in the kitchen and a mid-life crisis car in the driveway."
Putting on a brave face can save you thousands of dollars. If sellers are coached properly, Johnson claims, they won't get low offers because their homes will be properly staged (Observe all those shows on HGTV). Nancy, 47, isn't giving buyers the chance. This Montreal-based scriptwriter who didn't want her last name used, is embroiled in a two-and-a-half-year legal battle with her ex-boyfriend over the value of their home. The real estate market is so precarious right now that she's afraid to put the house up for sale. Instead, she's trying to buy out her ex.
"It's no accident that my marriage broke down during a kitchen renovation," says Nancy. "Our emotional problems are embedded in the house. Renovations test a couple's communication and we didn't survive. I knew he didn't want the new kitchen, but he OK'd the renovations to hide his affair. Instead of a new kitchen, he really wanted a sports car instead. I should've seen the red flag!"
Heartache can play havoc with people's decision-making abilities.
D. M., an editor at a film titling company, was so eager to split with his ex-girlfriend that he abandoned his stake in their home out of guilt for ending the relationship.
"I wasn't being magnanimous," says D. M., who wanted to conceal his full name to spare his ex's feelings. "For me, the house represented misery. We bought a cheap place at the dilapidated end of Dalhousie (in Ottawa's downtown) for $165,000, but there was a $1,500 emergency every month and I got laid off my job. We were there for two years, but I felt worse and worse about being in the house with her. When I finally announced I was leaving, she offered to return my part of the down payment, but I just wanted out. I gave her the washer and dryer, too."
Would he buy again?
"In a heartbeat--with the right girl and enough cash," says D. M.
There it is again--that love cycle. The cupid factor is equally strong when it comes to shaking up the real estate market.
"Love is one of the top reasons people buy real estate and marriage is a fantastic excuse to spend money on a home," says Montreal realtor and HGTV personality Tatiana Londono.
"But love is just as dangerous as divorce. It can cloud people's judgment just as much," says Londono.
"When people are in love and emotionally attached to the idea of buying a home and starting a life together, they will often want to buy something overpriced that they can't afford. Or they'll want to buy beside a railway track or something too small or in a crappy neighbourhood. They need to be gently coaxed into acting rationally."
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Winehouse turns aggressive about divorce
Augusta Military Divorce Attorney - Winehouse turns aggressive about divorce
Fed up with husband Blake Fielder-Civil publicly humiliating her, the troubled British Singer Amy Winehouse has contacted her legal advisers, saying that "she owes him nothing".
The 25-year-old singer is determined that Blake doesn't see a penny of her estimated 10 million pound fortune and is building up a cast-iron case to prove her point, reports said.
"Amy is adamant that Blake has been living off her money for too long and does not deserve a penny more," said a source.
"Amy is turning her life around and wants Blake out of it," added the source.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
Fed up with husband Blake Fielder-Civil publicly humiliating her, the troubled British Singer Amy Winehouse has contacted her legal advisers, saying that "she owes him nothing".
The 25-year-old singer is determined that Blake doesn't see a penny of her estimated 10 million pound fortune and is building up a cast-iron case to prove her point, reports said.
"Amy is adamant that Blake has been living off her money for too long and does not deserve a penny more," said a source.
"Amy is turning her life around and wants Blake out of it," added the source.
Alexandra Gonzalez-Waddington is an Augusta GA divorce lawyer & Georgia Military Divorce Lawyer Augusta Georgia domestic mediator. She is an Augusta military divorce lawyer, GA child custody attorney , and Augusta Georgia child support attorney. She offers mediation for divorce, child custody, and child support.
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